Me and DP separated last year. A good summary of why would be that he was an absolute workaholic. Since we separated he has actually spent more time with DS 7 than when we were together.
Ds is in his second year at a private school that he absolutely loves. It really works for me too as the days are 8-5 and then can stay an extra hour if needed. We’ve been really happy with the school and the arrangement has always been since we separated that we pay 50% fees each and then ex pays me 850 a month which is what he would pay if I went to cms. We are generally amicable so I don’t feel the need to go to cms and hes also paid for clothes etc and bedding if I’ve asked, for instance.
so basically things have been ok. However since the introduction of vat I feel so stressed. I know it’s a small percentage in the grand scheme of things and that I’m only paying half the fees anyway but I keep thinking that this is essentially going to use every penny of my savings until he finishes school (I’ve got around 156k left for my half of the remaining 10 year).
Now I am single and can’t imagine I will ever meet anyone else, all is ok while I’m working but you start thinking of all the worst case scenarios don’t you? I am so stressed. I’ve been honest with ex but he’s basically said he can’t and won’t pay more as he’s already paying half and then 850 to me a month and he has to be honest and fair to me that if I can’t do my share as we always agreed then ds will simply have to leave.
i don’t know what to do. I don’t know if it’s better to take him out now while he’s still young, so he can make new friends asap? Would I be making a huge mistake? My family think ex would stump up the last couple of years if down the line I literally couldn’t pay but obviously I don’t want to bank on that and the stress will never disappear. That said, if I was being positive about things I guess I could say all will be well and I’m just being too cautious? Ex thinks I am thinking negatively and there’s no reason to think we can’t manage this as planned.
I don’t know what to do and feel like it’s all on me to decide. It’s been so unsettling separating so I don’t know if that is affecting my view.