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AIBU?

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Original poster

To post this here as I really need advice

57 replies

Namefonow · 03/11/2024 17:44

I’m sorry, I have already posted this in step parenting but I need some help.

I messed up big time last night and need to recover this for the sake of my children. We are a blended family of 5. Elder 3 are my partners. Younger is mine and we have a 1 year old together.
all having a lovely day yesterday together. I thought I saw the DSS 13 touch DD 6 on her bottom. He caught my eye and left the room. Partner dealt with it brilliantly and sat them both down individually and talked to them. Both said nothing happened. I did not deal with it well at all. To say I lost it would be an understatement. Tried to take the two youngest away and made some serious threats. DSS now doesn’t want me in the house. I get it. But I don’t want to lose my family or my children.
for now I’m staying away but am going back to do bedtime routine with the little ones. I have no idea how to recover from this.
I have apologise d sincerely to everyone but I know it will take time. Any advice would be so welcome. I don’t want to cause anyone any more pain.
for context, I was abused as a young child and freaked out. But that does not for a second excuse my over reaction.

OP posts:
Pandasnacks · 03/11/2024 18:06

What has your husband said about this? Did your DSS here you 'loose it'?

Original poster
Namefonow · 03/11/2024 18:05

Hoglet70 · 03/11/2024 17:53

When you say he touched her on the bottom I think you need to elaborate. If he touched her bum cheek innocently while helping her put her shoes on (struggling for an example) its very different to surreptitiously touching her 'front' bottom whilst sat in front of the TV.

What I saw was stoking back bottom. Not the worst thing in the world I know but it freaked me out.
however, as both have denied it, I think I must have been wrong. Neither are known for lying.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namefonow · 03/11/2024 18:04

sorrynotathome · 03/11/2024 17:54

I'm not sure why you think your history of being abused does not come into it. You may want to have some counselling about this. Unfortunately we are being conditioned to see abuse everywhere and to trust no-one - perhaps you are also falling prey to this to some extent. Either way, I think you need some professional help.

I have a therapist booked for Tuesday. I agree that I definitely need help.

OP posts:
Original poster
Namefonow · 03/11/2024 18:03

Hoplolly · 03/11/2024 17:48

I've not advice (I am in a blended family, and also my own children have a SM for context) but it's a pretty serious allegation and I don't really blame your DSS for feeling the way he does if it's completely unfounded.

Completely agree with you here.

OP posts:
sorrynotathome · 03/11/2024 17:54

I'm not sure why you think your history of being abused does not come into it. You may want to have some counselling about this. Unfortunately we are being conditioned to see abuse everywhere and to trust no-one - perhaps you are also falling prey to this to some extent. Either way, I think you need some professional help.

Hoglet70 · 03/11/2024 17:53

When you say he touched her on the bottom I think you need to elaborate. If he touched her bum cheek innocently while helping her put her shoes on (struggling for an example) its very different to surreptitiously touching her 'front' bottom whilst sat in front of the TV.

Hoplolly · 03/11/2024 17:48

I've not advice (I am in a blended family, and also my own children have a SM for context) but it's a pretty serious allegation and I don't really blame your DSS for feeling the way he does if it's completely unfounded.