Would it annoy you if you kept getting visitors after 5pm on a Sunday

It's not unannounced if your sis in law has told you in advance she is coming round?

Yes it's annoying but you need to tell them as it's becoming a habit

"The children love seeing you but I have to get them ready for bed at 6pm on a school night, so visiting at 5pm doesn't give them much time to see you. Can you come earlier?"

Don't let them in? Make up an excuse

Just keep to your schedule... Bath the dc. Pj's on. Ah well time dc were going to bed say goodnight to ils.. .. Nice of you to drop in .. Shame it's bed for school tomorrow... Better still leave them in the bathroom supervising. When they get soaked they might buggar off!! Dh needs to tell them straight..

Well it wouldn’t occur to me that 5 pm is late as it’s still the afternoon and I don’t think anyone in my extended family eats dinner that early so you’ll just have to tell them outright OP.
I don’t mind close family or friends popping in, and if I was busy I’d just hand them a potato peeler/ get them doing bathtime or whatever!

I have two uncles who don’t get the whole protected family time on a Sunday afternoon / evening and seem
genuinely baffled at my frustrations. Frankly it’s just rude.

When I read the first post I felt so infuriated for you that they would just turn up unannounced, as that would drive me absolutely round the bend. But then as I read on and read about all the “hints” and things like one of them saying they’ll come tomorrow, and you just saying “what time?” I just thought… nooo OP you need to be former! Have any of these people ever asked you what time works for you? Or is it always just them calling the shots and telling you when they’re coming. I just couldn’t/wouldn’t stand for that. Knowing how much it riles you that they come around/after 5 on a Sunday, surely it was the PERFECT opportunity when one of them said yesterday that she’ll pop in today, for you to reply and say “brilliant, we’ll be home around 1-4, any time after 4 is tea, bath and bed so some point in that window of time would be great.” Easy. Non confrontational, no fuss, boundaries set.

Don't hint, be clear. And try being clear before you get too annoyed.

For people who don't have children of the same age it sounds like a perfect and even a respectful time to visit - enjoying the lunch, catching some time outside in the daylight and than meeting friends or family.

When they show up answer the door and stand in the way so they can't enter. "Sorry but we're busy getting the kids sorted as we all have an early morning tomorrow. Why don't you come over next Sunday at 2 pm so you can see them when they're not tired."

she told her yesterday on the phone that she'll be coming over today.

I would have asked/rung/text as soon as I had this information.

‘Hi Granny, X says you are planning to come round tomorrow-come at 11am, it will be lovely to see you’.

Same with SIL-if they are doing this regularly, I’d probably make a point of being out/in the bath when they came which forces the, ‘shall we make a mutually agreed time for you to come next time?!’ type conversation!

If they come round don't change the kid's routine, just delegate - SIL or MIL does bathtime, someone else gets story time etc. You put your feet up!

Sorry just to be clear, it should be no big deal for them, but less stress for you.

I find it mad people do this! I'm really close to my family and love to have them here, but none of us would just turn up without sending a text asking if the others were around/free for a visit. 9 times out of ten it's fine but some days are busier than others.

It does seem like it's happened so much that it's routine that they come over and now they don't give it a second thought. So I see both sides.

I'd probably just say you're up to your eyes on a Sunday getting ready for the week and can't give them your full attention, could they come over another day when things aren't so hectic. It's no big deal.

Never explain never apologise

Is there a reason they prefer this time?

"5pm is a bit late but the kids love seeing you. - why not come at X time next Sunday then we can do Y?"

No tension required

No, PIL had one as we once asked them to wait in for a delivery when we were on holiday then they kept making excuses to keep it.
SIL just used to knock.

My fil used to turn up at 6.45am on a Sunday morning because ‘you’re up anyway’ he always appeared with a carrier bag full of sweets Drove me crazy.

I’d take a 5pm visit over that anytime

On a Wednesday, I'd send a message to SiL (and any of the other family members that rock up on Sundays) saying "Hi, just wanted to let you know that if you're thinking of visiting on Sunday, we'd be available up to 4pm for your visit. We can't have visitors after that time unfortunately as the kids get very excited waiting for your visit and upset when there is a no-show. We need time to unwind and prepare the kids for bed and school the following morning. Please let us know what time you're thinking of visiting. No worries if you don't want to visit on Sunday, just wanted to let you know. All the best"

As it's your SiL though, I'd be thinking that the message should come from your DH but you need to agree what you want to send between you.

In future if its a Sunday ask if they can come in the morning as you have to get DC bathed and settled earlier for school next day and like it to be a relaxing few hours before bed time.

My SIL does this and it drives me irrationally crazy. I've stopped telling DC that she's coming because I don't know what time she'll arrive, shes lovely but non commital. I won't say anything though because it's just different routines, there's no ill-intent. The penny will drop if she has kids one day!

If there is a next time, don't just hint. If you feel you need an excuse, let them know DD has been tired since starting school and you are using the dark evenings to your advantage to get her settled earlier.