To think no one will come to 16 yo bday party

Stranding people on a boat is not a great idea to get buy-in.

As the mother of a teen, your heart is in the right place but I am afraid a babyish party will open her up to ridicule.

My local spas don't take bookings for under 18s so do check beforehand if thinking of this option.

We are often in this situation with three autistic daughters. We have done a fancy afternoon tea with one friend, which was pretty successful. They tend not to want parties though. It’s really horrible to see your child so lonely, and we are particularly having difficulty with my 12 yo having no friends to the point she is not in school.

I agree that a family do is probably the safest bet.

Btw as a ND person myself I well remember the torment of the teenage years. It is very hard for ND girls to make friends, she needs to find her own circle of ‘misfits’. Are there ND clubs she could join? Games nights, that sort of thing.

I think in this situation where the daughter isn’t really friends with the invitees they’re likely just to say no up front rather than say yes just because mum has to pay upfront… it’ll be more likely they’ll decline than agree to come, and then the daughters left disappointed after being told she’s having a party.

Howabout a karaoke party or a games night?

Or a Strictly come dancing party with a dance professional to teach salsa maybe?

Tell her nobody does stuff for their 16th anymore and have a family gathering or just be a party pooper and say no, we're not doing it. Hard luck. I really would not want to risk that disappointment, bless her.

If she really doesn't have any friends, don't have any kind of party. That would be inviting disaster.

A 'family' afternoon tea on the nearest Sunday might be suitable - push the boat out with scones, fresh cream, tiny sandwiches, etc.

For her birthday, you and her, and maybe her dad, should go on a big expensive trip - theatre and meal? Shopping in London and hotel for a night?

Accept that she may not 'find her people' in terms of making friends until later, either at college or uni, or perhaps in her twenties once the awful teen years are over.

Coukd you send out a text to a couple friends/dance class people, ecplain you're organising a little birthday celebration and would they be free to commit on xyz date as you need to pay upfront so need numbers beforehand?- surely people wouldn't drop out if it was put like that?
I would swerve the party boat idea and go for something smaller.
Hope it turns out nice for her.

What about getting her booked in for a spa day or a morning/afternoon of treatments at a beauty salon, so she only needs 1-2 people to actually turn up and you can swap them out with immediate family if no one shows? A facial and a mani/pedi would be the way I'd go, depending on if she has sensory issues or not.

Do something really nice as a family. Don’t try this. I sympathise as my DD hasn’t had friends/social life either.

Also this.... Is she at a special school OP hence the small class?

Oh OP this is really sad but holding a big 30 person party isn't the way to magically make friends.
Do you have a sense of why she struggles with friendships? Is she a bit intense, has unusual special interests maybe? Does she perhaps have a few behaviours that put other kids off?
I think first and foremost you need to talk to school about supporting some social skills and friendships, they might be able to guide you as to which school peers are more comfortable with her, who is a good person to invite over to hang out maybe? Needs to be very chilled, low pressure scenario?

There are only five people in her class at school??? No wonder she has struggled to make friends.

Don’t invite people she doesn’t know just so she can have a party. She’ll either end up feeling lonely in her own party or, worse, hardy anyone will come and she’ll feel really shit about herself.

It’s OK to not have many mates. If she does something with her actual close mates then she’ll have a much better time and it’ll be memorable for the right reasons.

How about an escape room? My daughter did that with 2 friends for her 16th. An afternoon shopping, escape room and then dinner. You can accommodate up to 5 or 6 people in an escape room and, as it is booked out no matter if it is 2 or 6 people, you can book for 3 and then add others if they come on the day.

This sounds hard OP. I'd maybe stick with family, if the recent party hasn't worked. Have you tried building friendships by eg inviting others over when there's less pressure?

I agree, a family celebration will be much better, plus you can all relax and enjoy it without worrying that it won't work out. My son is 16, he just wanted to go for a family meal. I think he might have done something with friends on another day but it was very low key, I can't remember now! At that age there aren't many organised celebrations, at least not any that my children went to. 16 year olds don't like to do trampolining usually, but even if you did bowling or something, you will probably find that your daughter just takes her turn and doesn't engage, if she already finds it difficult. We did our first escape room on one of my sons significant birthdays, just the four of us with a meal after and it was great fun.

16 is too old for trampolining unless all attendees have a very very young mindset.
Party boat is more age appropriate but if you invite the dance school and none of those people are her friends they might either not come or they will hang out in their own friendship groups. Your own party isn’t really a place to make new friends.
Much better to do a family celebration and invite any cousins or kids of family friends. If she works on friendships now she’ll be able to have a great time on her 18th

This is a nightmare scenario. I would definitely keep it family only.

Keep it small. 1 or 2 friends max. Desirable activity, pamper party at a salon or something. Or just have a family thing.

16 is far too old for a trampolining party, besides don't most children have one in the back garden anyway these days ?

Sorry OP this is a bit different… if 3 people have very recently all just pulled out I wouldn’t be pushing out invites again so soon.

Agree with PP’s organise something with cousins and family maybe?