To think no one will come to 16 yo bday party

There's no point in inviting people that she's not friends with. That doesn't sound like much fun for her.

Ha ha, my 16-year-old DD and her friends love a good trampoline party.

That’s not enough info but don’t do a party - no, no, no.
Do something special/ grown up type as a family or just 2 of you (depending on the circumstances) e.g meal and theatre or weekend away or spa visit.
again it’s difficult to advice specifically as not enough info but I hope you’ve got the idea.

OP I fear that if she invites people to a trampoline party she’ll be the butt of jokes. It won’t work.

Definitely stick with family, and think about how to help her make friends as a separate issue. Maybe she could invite some girls from dance to go to the theatre or to a concert? But not as a birthday activity.

I am just thinking, does she actually like these people. In a class of 5 there might not be anyone she likes or has a similar personality to. In dance, most of the time is spent in actual dance not making friends. Also unlikely there will be anyine she likes. I went to dance for 10 years and had no friends from dance. She probably needs another interest which is a more sociable type of activity. It doesnt sound like shes the clubbing, party type of person, so needs to be something else. For example sewing club, scouts, climbing, pottery. If she is wanting more friends and hasnt already found anyone she gels with in her current activities then I would encourage her to try something new. Some people are old souls and hate all the social crap that comes with being in tge in crowd. But there are plenty of things out there that are sociable and fun to meet people.

So why on earth do you think 30 will show up? And honestly how many 16yo do you think want to go trampoline?

Atleast at a small event at your house she is home already

If she likes dancing maybe you and her could go to a dance show ? Or you could buy her a private dance lesson as a treat ? Do something that doesn’t rely on other people and tell her that you’ll do something with friends for her 18th. By then she might be in a different situation and have met some people

if it was Halloween itself when they didn't come then maybe they got a better offer (not polite, but obviously a busy night). Hopefully they would come for a birthday party but I agree, keep it small

This is truly awful. A trampoline party a the age of 16, or a party boat for 30 organised by the mum.

OP you mean so so well, but you need to stop this madness. Celebrate with family.

I would also say it is perfectly normal not to have a birthday party for 16th and not to feel bad at all. 18th is more when there is pressure to have a party with friends

I would agree don't risk no one coming at 16
Choose something she'd really love instead: weekend away somewhere, a theme park, see a show in London, go for a spa day together whatever is special for her. One of mine is crazy over animals and wanted a keeper for the day type experience with wolves. I offered them the choice and they preferred an experience to a party.

A lot of teenagers don’t go in for parties as they are quite stressful to organise. One of mine only ever wants a family meal at their favourite restaurant even though they do have friends. A lot of their friends just to a family thing as well, so so don’t feel pressured into have a party. Work on things like joining clubs with like minded people.

OP you do need to wise up here - if she doesn’t have friends you can’t do either of these things. 16 year olds want to hang out with their mates - you will have a bunch of no shows and make her feel much much worse.

I’d suggest to her that she holds off a party till she’s 18, think of a nice treat she could do with you/family for this one, and then work with her on how to develop relationships. If this isn’t your strength area, get her some support at college or from books / websites / specialist organisations

Lots don't have a party at this age. Sounds like you maybe better just sticking to family and have a meal out/ go bowling etc. what does she want to do?

They are a bit beyond he trampolining parties stage.

I don’t think her birthday celebration is the time to try and make friends, if no one shows up it will just upset her and give her a birthday to remember for all the wrong reasons. Is there one or two friends that you could invite and perhaps go see a movie and a bite to eat?

Work on helping her to make friends away from her birthday.

Trampoline party is for younger kids not 16 year olds. A party boat would be difficult if people didn't turn up, she'd feel terrible. As people bailed on Halloween assume the same for her party unfortunately. It's sad.

16ths i remember we had a lot of meals out for 16ths. We were also going to nightclubs by that age. Appreciate times have changed but you need to find something cool and grown up for her like a meal or escape room at night. Get her to invite 5 people. Then ask if you can check with their parents about logistics but really just make sure they are coming. Otherwise, one friend and a day trip could work. Im thinking it might also be good to get her to invite the friends back one by one in the lead up over for a few hours after school or dance for example. Is there a few people she likes and wants to start a friendship with. I woukdnt invite the whole class. They will fraction off into their friendship groups and leave her feeling crappy if you make it a big affair.

Just take her to do something special the two of you (any shows she’d like to see?) or a little party with the family.

Reading about the Halloween party breaks my heart - but pp’s are right in that usually they’d be organising their own stuff at this age, you can’t force it.

Are there any hobby groups she could join? My own dd is ND and has made friends through a few niche hobbies that she has (think warhammer/school band). She just needs to find her tribe OP - hope she has a lovely birthday xx

As others have said...maybe a big party isn't the way to go. Does she have any special interests? You could have a small family thing and use the money you'd have paid for a party boat to sign her up for lessons or something that relates to those interests, where she's more likely to make friends. I like the idea of a family dinner out inviting some friends so that if the friends don't turn up, it doesn't feel so obvious. But only if she wants to invite them!

I would really steer away from the party aspect (small or large) if she doesn’t have friends and people flake out, wanting a party and not having it is a lot less crushing then having a party and no one turns up. As others have said I’d embrace a really really fun family day or weekend out

My dd is neurodivergent and doesn't have any friends, I wouldn't even begin to think about planning a proper party as I know she wouldn't have any friends to invite. The trampoline idea is a terrible idea as well, it's for younger kids really. Personally I'd go with a family meal, it's a safe option. She'll only end up feeling worse if you arrange a party that nobody turns up to. If she's going to make friends it will happen organically as she meets people more like minded, I don't think throwing a party in order to try and force the issue is the way to go.

Don't put her through the unsuccessful party drama. Realistically, if it wasn't possible to arrange an intimate event for Halloween, it's not going to be possible to pull off a big party boat event for her birthday - all that will happen is that she'll feel more upset and lose confidence. And things like trampolining aren't going to appeal to most mid-to-late teens other than ironically.

Instead, what about something family-focused if she has cousins or other relatives she'd like to spend time with, or something for just you and her? Maybe a mini-break around an interest of hers that could lead to ways to build confidence and make friends? What are her interests at the moment?

I'm not sure it's a good idea to invite anyone for her birthday, it will be horrid if she's let down on her special day. Arrange a fun family thing for her birthday and maybe try inviting a girl or two for movie nights occasionally. But I would think she'd be much better trying to initiate friendships first before inviting anyone back to her house, playdates might help a 6 year old but maybe not a 16 year old. I wouldn't think many 16 year old girls would want to go to the house of someone they don't already know or like.