To think no one will come to 16 yo bday party

Personally I wouldn’t force the party/friends type stuff as she herself must know people aren’t going to turn up or if they do they aren’t real friends

I would do something special as a family. Meal out or Afternoon tea at a nice hotel and going to the theatre in your nearest city if there is something that she would like on

I think the party boat and trampolining sound like both incredible options, for my daughter’s 16th we did a small gathering with a theme and a few fun activities to break the ice, and that worked really well,It seems like a great way to have some solid turn out, so why not invite both school as well as dance friends. your daughter will have the greatest time!

apologies realised I missed theand

I think Halloween like trampolining was also a little young for her age group

FWIW friends ds struggled with school, struggled with making friends. She changed her ds’s school to a very small school and he started as a new boy in the September in the year below.
Suddenly he found he was with other boys who were more on his wavelength and maturity

Do you think this would help?

From the OP: 'people from school (small class of 5) '

Cross posted with @hopeishere !

@Yalta

No. She says there are only five in her class.

DD will be turning 16, she does have any friends but wants to invite some people from school (small class of 5) and from her dance class.

I think family only... by 16 it's kids' choice whether they want to go to a party or not and sadly most are not likely to choose to go to a party of someone they don't feel they know.

Do you know any of the other mums in her dance class.

For dds 16th I knew a lot of the mums from dds dance class. We had always chatted whilst dc were in class. After dance class we all went for Pizza (mums and all) and then because we live in London and were in the West End we took in a show with very cheap tickets as it was so last minute.

Could you do something like that?

I’m surprised at the idea of a mum getting involved in organising this and contacting other 16 year olds parents? I would have been mortified if my mum had done this when I was this age. I don’t think it’s going to help her social status at all if her mum starts ringing round. I’m surprised people are suggesting this. I can understand that she might struggle with arrangements herself so if that is the case then a family party is the way to go.

My DD is a similar age. Her friends have house parties for turning 15/16.

Her danceclass has only 5 people

If she doesn’t have friends a “party” will be awful. Try to make her birthday special in other ways - her favourite dinner - a day out of mini break - a fun activity with family. Maybe some of the dance class could be talked up into a pizza after the class but probably only if it’s low key.

I wasn’t commenting on the party, just the blanket belief that trampoline parties are ‘too young’ for sophisticated 16-year-olds who are all out clubbing in town.

I’d agree with not making too big an event of any celebration if there is doubt about the number of people who would come.

Could you do something smaller that can be scaled up? Does she like bowling? This works with just family, but you can add a few friends if they are free/ get a second lane? You want an activity that is still a celebration but it does not matter if other people can make it or not.

Big hugs to you all

If she doesn't have any friends, I would work on that before you start inviting anyone to parties. This year, keep it family only. Work on her building friendships in small steps, and then hopefully by her next birthday she'll be able to invite people.

I agree not trampolining. Cinema/bowling/dance class would work. I'd invite around 5 . Avoid the three who dropped out before.

Or include cousins if she has any of a similar age.

If she has no friends then she can't have a party

I'm sorry your DD is struggling with friendships - that's hard for her & tough for you as parents.

As others have said I'd do a family party or meal.

Maybe take birthday cake to her dance class to share as a mini celebration after a class but low key. Perhaps you check check with her dance teacher if that's ok?

I've not quite understood her school situation but if there are only 5 in her class could you invite all of them to something - bowling & pizza or cinema?

Or there are some places that do indoor crazy golf or darts. Something fun but not totally reliant on just chatting.

Our cinema is really nice & does good food so feels a special treat. Maybe DD could invite a friend or the 5 classmates for a movie & food & back to yours for cake. They'll have something to talk about having seen a movie etc...

@AD1509 I assumed it was either a very small private school or a special school

Her entire secondary class only has 5 people? I grew up in super rural North Yorkshire but it was significantly more that that- where are you located?

We took my 16 year old DD out for an afternoon of shopping and a meal. She didn't have any friends either. She started college in September and now has 6 or 7 friends so it doesn't mean your DD will never have friends.
But I'd either do a meal out or a family party at home but reassure her that 16 parties aren't common anyway.

Gosh I feel for her and you- very hard not to have a peer group.

I would do something as a family and focus on that.

What happens on the party boat? I wouldn’t choose trampolining, I don’t think a bunch of 16 year olds would want to go trampolining.

I would say bowling, cinema, waterpark etc would be better. Invite extra incase people drop out. If there only ends up being a few of them all of these activities would be fine.

Yes there are lots of people who do young and old and I presume decide as group?

Do you really think inviting people you are not friends with at 16 to a trampoline party is a great idea?

My DD and her friends went out for a meal at Bills. I paid.

It's on neutral territory, everyone can leave when they want, it's not at your house, you get to choose your own food, there's a bit of a buzz in the restaurant, it's time limited. It's easy, no fuss. You can bring a cake if you ask the restaurant maybe?

it felt quite grown up and fun. My DD had a lovely time. Limit it to just 6 or less.