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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think if you're invited for lunch you should leave shortly after lunch?

287 replies

purplebeansprouts · 03/11/2024 15:47

say you go round at 11 and then lunch is at12:30 I'd personally be making moves to leave at the most 1 hour after. aibu?

OP posts:
thehighgatevampire · 03/11/2024 16:52

Not at mine, we'd normally eat and then a few hours of chat and a few glasses of wine. so arrive at 1ish leave about 4-5. This would be the same with of my friends too.

Marlaysydney12 · 03/11/2024 16:51

If they are your in laws can't you crack on with what you need/want to do on a Sunday afternoon and let your partner deal with it?

TamborineGal · 03/11/2024 16:50

Oooh you have my sympathy. ILs MO is earlier and earlier arrival and later and later departure..........
After 20 plus years my fixed smile (with gritted teeth) is replaced by announcing a Check Out time for them .......And. Sticking. To. It.
Now them hurtling down the motorway for 4 hours in their late 80's is another thread. Their car displays evidence why........

Anonymouseposter · 03/11/2024 16:50

If they came at 11am I would expect them to leave about 4pm.
To me it would be rude to just eat and then leave immediately (before 3pm) but staying beyond 5pm would feel like outstaying my welcome as I would guess you would need to get things ready for the kids for the next day.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 03/11/2024 16:50

When you say they are meant to be going home do you mean they have come to visit for the weekend and need to travel home or do they live locally and you have seen them all weekend?

StaunchMomma · 03/11/2024 16:48

purplebeansprouts · 03/11/2024 16:10

How do we initiate a flyby next time?

Show quote history

Why bother inviting people round at all if you want them out of the door asap?!

Sounds horrible.

Original poster
purplebeansprouts · 03/11/2024 16:47

OptimismvsRealism · 03/11/2024 16:42

"we don't do pudding really"

Why even host people when Ur joyless about food?

I'd expect to hang around until dinner time unless one of us had a specific plan

Oh we do mains in style mind!!

OP posts:
gingercat02 · 03/11/2024 16:45

LOL if our friends come for lunch they could easily still be here at bedtime 🍷🍸🍺🍾🥃

Getamoveon2024 · 03/11/2024 16:45

Depends who it is. In laws? They would arrive at 12.30, I’d serve lunch at 1 and by 3.30pm I’d be more than ready for them to bugger off.
Proper mates? They would arrive at 12.30 ish, I’d serve lunch around 2 and they’d still be there at midnight!

OneTC · 03/11/2024 16:44

In laws/out laws/family/close friends can stay for dinner if they want.

Anyone I needed a 2 hour limit on I wouldn't invite to my home, I'd meet them out, if at all

JollyPinkFox · 03/11/2024 16:42

ahhh when it’s in laws you always need a plan for after the plan with them

User28473 · 03/11/2024 16:42

No, that would be rude to eat and leave. Though you've said lunch, I do think it might be different for a Sunday dinner than something more casual.

OptimismvsRealism · 03/11/2024 16:42

"we don't do pudding really"

Why even host people when Ur joyless about food?

I'd expect to hang around until dinner time unless one of us had a specific plan

MagicianMoth · 03/11/2024 16:42

I’d be really upset if someone I invited for lunch left an hour after lunch started. Quite apart from the fact that we would not have finished eating by then.
From your following posts I realise your situation is different but you said “if invited for lunch you should leave shortly after lunch” and I think most people would find this odd if not actively insulting .

Wendysfriend · 03/11/2024 16:41

When I have people for meals they just stay for as long as they want, I actually dislike it if they leave early, feels like a waste. So usually lunch runs into early evening which often ends up them having dinner.

wildfellhall · 03/11/2024 16:40

This entirely depends on who it is and how well you know them.

wildfellhall · 03/11/2024 16:39

TheYearOfSmallThings · 03/11/2024 15:59

Firstly I've never been invited for lunch that early because none of my friends live in a hospital, nursing home or school. Secondly if you are serving lunch at 12:30 and want them to hit the road by 1:30 at latest, then I don't think that is a reasonable expectation unless you have spelled out in advance that you need them gone by 1:30.

" I've never been invited for lunch that early because none of my friends live in a hospital, nursing home or school. " 😂😂

Delphiniumandlupins · 03/11/2024 16:39

Are they expecting afternoon tea before they go? Or at least a cup of tea and a biscuit? Do they have far to travel? Definitely start talking about their journey home/driving in the dark/when you will next see them. They may be hoping for a dinner invite!

Arran2024 · 03/11/2024 16:37

Are you on the spectrum, because that's a very asd attitude? You think lunch means lunch, whereas it means something much more than that to most people. I am on the spectrum myself and would want to leave just after but I know that's not what is expected/ appropriate.

Waffle78 · 03/11/2024 16:37

Be rude to rush off. As long as it's before teatime roll's around and host doesn't need to go somewhere. Anytime between 1.30 and 4 is reasonable.

Relaxedandchilled · 03/11/2024 16:35

purplebeansprouts · 03/11/2024 16:14

He's been texting me regularly on the sly asking why they haven't left.

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Wow what a horrible thing to do. How awful of him.

Lavenderflower · 03/11/2024 16:34

I would leave by dinner time.

BecksStory · 03/11/2024 16:33

You mentioned that today they are going home, have they been visiting for the weekend? Do they live far away?

If so, and they're just trying to spend their last day with their grandchildren etc then it seems reasonable they would expect lunch to last a few hours.

CrushOnEminem · 03/11/2024 16:30

Sounds odd to me. We often used to host weekend lunches when dc were small. Now it's mainly dinner as they're grown up.

But if I was hosting lunch I'd invite guests to arrive for 1pm & we'd serve between 1.30 - 2pm & I'd expect everyone to be gone by 5pm / 6pm especially if they've travelled any distance to be with us.

And if we were hosting a lunch it would be a leisurely affair so drinks & nibbles on arrival. Perhaps a starter or sharing platters. Then a main with sides. Wine & water & soft drinks for kids / non drinkers

Coffee after & always a selection of homenade desserts so it would easily stretch out over a couple of hours.

Unless it was my sister or parents I would not want anyone arriving at 10am or even 11am for lunch!

StormingNorman · 03/11/2024 16:30

I just knew it was parents 😂

They are the hardest to shift. Totally impervious to hints.