To think if you're invited for lunch you should leave shortly after lunch?

Haven't you ever known awful relatives that you have to endure? If not you're very lucky.

How miserable. Hardly see them and then when you do you just want them to leave as quick as possible, even DH slyly saying things behind their back. Do they know they're not welcome? Horrible.

Coming for lunch on a Sunday is a full-day event. Especially if you only see them 6 times a year. I wouldn't expected guests to leave before 6pm but probably later.

Midweek lunch, an hour after eating is fine.

Would you like to drip feed some more @purplebeansprouts.....

You clearly cannot stand your PIL, the whole long weekend seems to have been one verrrrry long chore and aggravation, and you can't wait to see the back of them.

If you actually described the background and outlined the details of what is going on, people might be more sympathetic and helpful.

I think that's a long wait before, if lunch was 12:30 I'd arrive at 12 and stay until 2/2:30

That’s fair enough. So they need to sleep elsewhere, but surely you should be with them outside of this. If you had a spare room would you expect them to leave within an hour of lunch? I think you are rude, but I think their son is much worse. Awful way to treat your parents.

Lunch invite is two hours.

Anymore and it's getting into the host saying 'oh stay for another coffee/wine/margaritas or whatever'

Omg so they are travelling to see you and staying in a hotel and you think they should leave within an hour of lunch?? They are coming to see yous. I would be expecting them to stay the day all the days they are there. Or take them out.
Are you expecting they spend their time in the hotel and visit you for short periods? How awful. They make the effort to come every 2 months, do you realise how blessed yous are?

For the guests, I mean.

If I was going to a friend's for lunch I would expect to arrive around half hour before eating and then sit and chat until one of us had to get off to do something.

If I was visiting a relative and I'd stayed overnight in a hotel and I hadn't seen them the day before then I'd probably expect to spend most of the day with them. If we'd already spent time together the previous day then it would just be popping in for a quick cuppa, possibly brunch/quick lunch before setting home.

Oh come on everyone haven’t any of you had the in-laws around for hours and hours and thought please go home I really want my space back and to get on with things?

Well if my in-laws were as unpleasant to me as she says they are to her. They wouldn't be setting foot over the threshold.

Thing is OP, you've presented this as solely a lunch invite. The sort of invite you'd make to local family or friends.

It's completely different when they have come away for the weekend specifically to see you. And you've been really rude.

If your best friend invited you over for the weekend, but said she didn't have a spare bed so would you mind staying in a nearby hotel, try and imagine how you'd feel if she said 'oh don't turn up before 11' and expected you to leave shortly after lunch. Pretty pissed off given the effort you'd made to go and see her.

Or drink coffee? Or tea? Or a nice lemonade?

I have to wonder if them being unpleasant to you came before or after you made the fact you hold them in contempt very plain.

You have been a very poor host and none of your excuses can hide that fact. Either stop inviting them / letting them invite themselves or host them properly for a normal amount of time.

Your surname isnt "Whiteadder" by any chance is it OP? You should maybe consider it as a username.

Why on earth are you having them over? if you don't know how to host properly then don't bother doing it..don't be rude..

Having read all your posts, it sounds as if you'd rather they didn't come at all and want to get rid of them asap. Whereas they think they only see you every 2 months and want to come for the day, pretty much. Neither of you is unreasonable or wrong for wanting what you want. But I think it is very normal in these circumstances for your visitors to arrive late morning and stay until tea time at least.

If lunch was at 12:30 I wouldn't expect to leave before 3, and maybe 4 or 5. It would be rude to eat and go.
But it depends what is going on. Obviously if the hosts are busy or not well, or if we were come to that, an early finish would be fine.
I've never been invited for lunch at 11am though. 12:30 would be the earliest I'd expect to arrive, to eat at 1pm.

If I was inviting people for lunch I'd ask them to come at 1, then we wouldn't eat till 1.30 at least. I'd expect to still be at the table at 3 enjoying pudding, coffee etc then we might go to the pub...
But I don't have kids and nor do any of my friends sooooo....

Spending an hour and having linch makes the meal the main focus. Like going to the works canteen. So leaving after an hour makes it seem you were only there for the food.

Being given a plate of food, no drink, no dessert, no coffee is really rubbing it in that you’re making no effort for them. And if your feelings about them lingering are showing through as clearly as on this thread, you may find you’ve achieved your aim and they won’t return

In which case a dessert would have been nice, or a leisurely coffee afterwards.

How many miles away do they live and do they travel by train, plane or car?

Personally if guests left straight after a lunch I had prepared, I would ask myself what I had done wrong as I think it would be rude of them.

I try to avoid inviting others for lunch. We'd traditionally aim for 1pm arrival, eating around 1.30, and then desperately hoping they go by 5. The morning is spent prepping for them and the evening spent cleaning up and decompressing. I'm in bed by 9 wondering ever the day went. But then i really do hate "socialising", I think it's a weird concept.