Fed up of children running around screaming

I think the th8ng about raising kids to potentially be “twats” by letting them behave how they want when younger is broadly true.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing to bring kids up to be considerate of others. “You’re not the only pebble on the beach” as my mother used to say.

I certainly used to tell Dd when she was younger that other people are about and don’t want to hear shrieking/shouting. Even in our own back garden. As a young adult now she’s thoughtful and thinks of others. And as a university lecturer sadly i don’t see those qualities in quite a few of my students, they will talk through lectures, not thinking of others trying to concentrate, etc. Maybe a bit more discipline when younger might have benefited them!

As an aside I’d never live in a cul de sac because of the risk of noisy kids, football, etc.

I have never due to my history ever expressed that view. But by all means take a low blow. As you will see from .y other posts, I have skin in the game of adults ever instructing my children and I don't apologise for it. Perhaps have a little consideration of those of us who parent from a less rose tinted glasses viewpoint!

That isn't the question asked.

In the case you describe which is the complete opposite situation. The staff would quietly caution the parent. Plenty of children run around and play loudly outside are quite willing and able to sit in a coffee shop.

The exception is where it is in a soft play or okay area that's not clear boundaries for a child to know what to do.

I can guarantee everyone on your road thinks you’re a twat. Because you are.

and you’re raising your children to be twats too.

but carry on, have your little laugh…

Just because I think it's important to understand why you should be nuanced and careful with children's behaviour:

Research has shown that children with ADHD have often received 20,000 more negative messages about their behavior than a neurotypical child by age 12. The impact of all of this negative feedback can be profound.

Great if you have a quiet, shy, introverted, parent-focused, slow-approach, NT child. It's all genetic BTW, not parenting. But if you have contact with loud, out-going, extrovert, fast-approach children, maybe with ND, or you have one, be careful how you work with them. It's a marathon, not a sprint and getting them to shut up is short term.

They are different, but every kid deserves to be taught boundaries and what is acceptable behaviour. Screaming at the top of their voice for hours is not acceptable behaviour. If the mother thinks it is she can put them inside and close the door, see how she likes it then.

We had this in our flats but they would also leave all of their scabby toys out as if it was their personal junkyard. It was just one family and they let their kids run wild. I remember one getting into a life with me and walking with me to my flat. Thank god I wasn’t a pedophile!

I was still a kid when I quietly played outside in my garden, or quietly read inside.

But you do understand that children are different to each other.

There’s children being children and then there’s children who are bought up with no boundaries screaming like banshees. The kid I am talking about plays with kids that don’t scream; it’s not a pre requisite for being a child.

it’s important to teach children how to behave in a way that’s not selfish and disruptive. Nothing to do with ‘let kids be kids’ - I was still a kid when I quietly played outside in my garden, or quietly read inside. I would never have dreamed of being such a disruptive presence. It shows an absolute lack of awareness of other humans

There is a kid that ‘plays’ in the garden next to my allotment patch and she does not shut up screaming as if she is being murdered for the whole length of time I am there. It is blood curdling. And she is definitely playing as there are other kids there. It ruins my time there and I’m sure it ruins all of the neouubours’ days. Utterly selfish of the mum not to tell her she will be kept inside if she screams like that. Kids need to learn to fit around society I’m afraid - it seems lots of parents think the world needs to revolve around them and it does them no favours.

If you (and MrsTerryPratchett) think those are the only two options, you shouldn't be parents.

@MeowCatPleaseMeowBack that's a shitty personal attack. And my child wasn't a screamer. I just don't care if some kids are. It is better than them being indoors and we should all be a lot more tolerant of children being children. There's massively too much of them being mini-adults as it is.

As long as you dont spout the "it takes a village" rhetoric on other threads (and im sure you dont cos im sure you are not a hypocrite 😏then all good

Does that include when they are running around a coffee shop when hot drinks are being carried to tables

Or perhaps kids have run around like this since FOREVER and again, parental ATTENTION?
When many hold the days of children playing outside at first light until dark with parents nowhere to be seen as something to cherish?

Older people ( either elder or with grown up kids and short memories)have been complaining about kids since time began, and that’s a fact…

The same people who complain about the noise of children are often the same ones complaining that children all sit in front of screens these days blah blah blah

And given your experience I completely understand your caution. Again I'm sorry if I sounded crass.

@5128gap I appreciate your comment. However you are still placing unreasonable expectation on children. Adults can't differentiate predators you are placing that in children. So I and all I know instruct children not to adhere to any adults unless approved by parents.

I'm not victim blaming and i apologise if the comment upset you. I'm not suggesting for a moment that SA victims are to blame nor would I ever. I'm merely pointing out that in order to protect children from obeying adults who mean them harm, there isn't any need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. If we tell children they may ignore everything other adults tell them then an unsupervised child has far more chance of harm if all adults avoid speaking up if they're doing something wrong or dangerous. And if they do speak, the child has been schooled to ignore them.
You can teach children how to stay as safe as possible by telling them what to beware of. By the time they are old enough to play out alone they should understand the difference between a neighbour telling them to be quiet when playing (fine) and a neighbour telling them to get into their van (not ok) and if they don't, I stress, that is not their fault, but a parenting fail in letting them out unsupervised.

We always tell the chn at my primary school off for screaming excessively. It’s definitely increasing in occurrence and the chn look at you like they have never been told to be quiet before! 🤦🏼‍♀️

It’s a mystery why so many kids seem to run around screaming. 🤷‍♀️. Perhaps its lack of parental attention. 🙄

Oh it bugs me too, one of the reasons I want to move is because a new family moved in who’s children act like the street is their personal playground.

I think screaming has become the "in thing". I know children have always screamed but I've noticed that it's far more prevelant and protracted than it used to be. It's not just when they're being chased (as in playing a game) either, they just stand there and scream like wailing banshees - because they can.

And parents like you are the reason my neighbour snapped and went after the screamers with a knife. Fortunately he only stabbed their ball.