Boots security accusation.

She clearly just wants to buy lip gloss a lot, that isn't a crime. Some people have enormous amount of cosmetics, some people have enormous amounts of lego, some people books. It's whatever floats the ops boat really.

Woolies was famous for kids stealing the pick and mix!

I think people get annoyed with the trotting out of “ I have ( insert acronym here) “ thinking it should be an excuse.

This has become a lot more common, ( to use as mitigation) but lets down others who take responsibility for their actions.

Once I had a Tesco Express security guard ask me to pull my scarf ( a snood) down - it was snowing and I said “ I’m not going to steal your meal deal for goodness sakes- target 🎯 the guys after booze!”

I felt he thought I was an easy target to ask as a woman and less likely to be aggressive (?)

I was annoyed.

However this was before the shoplifting epidemic.

A shopping trolley like a supermarket trolley or one of those trolleys on wheels, a sort of bag on wheels? As pp have said wouldn't it be easier to just put your things in a basket and then when you pay get a receipt? Why make things more complicated for yourself?

OP I had a jobs worth woman watching me. Because I had put 1 bottle of E45 suncream in my basket. One of my autistic children decided to clear the shelf of all the bottles of sun. My other autistic child made a run for it out the door. So of course I dropped my basket and ran after him. Turned round and said their autistic kids not fucking shop lifter's. Old bag she was I often see her on the bus years later.

I think next time you go into the shop you should just go straight to the nearest checkout and ask to speak to a manager about what happened. Stride with purpose and I can't see how you would be able to be herded out.

I'm a quiet person so I can kind of understand where you were coming from not saying anything at the time but there are occasions when you need to try your best to speak up and I think when you are being heeded out of a shop like an animal is one of those times.

You seem to be an over thinker and are over analyising your past times there, you might act oddly but thats OK, it isn't a crime to be a little bit odd. You know that you haven't done anything wrong so just march in and ask to speak to the manager about what happened. Don't mention all of the background that you have here, that just confuses things, mention that you are a regular customer if you like but all of the sometimes I get a receipt, sometimes I don't etc is irrelevant, you are a regular paying customer that's all they need to know.

No, it’s not. In a supermarket maybe but not when you’re shopping for lip gloss and mascara and the like!

I can understand why you were upset by this, but really you’ve answered your own question. They’re following you because you’re not using a basket and have a large trolley with you that you could ‘accidently’ drop things into! The fact that you’re not planning to steal anything is irrelevant.

Use a basket, put the trolley obviously behind/beside you so it’s clear it’s not relevant to your Boots visit and just has stuff from other shops in, and act naturally, going to the products you want and browsing and picking them up in a calm, measured manner to examine them, before putting the one(s) you want into your basket.

The fact you’re so worried about being accused of shoplifting that you prefer the manned till rather than self-service so you can’t be accused of stealing is very strange, as is your attitude to the receipts. You must subconsciously know that your behaviour looks dodgy because otherwise you wouldn’t worry about being accused of stealing.

Weird, isn't it, that she needs to buy lip gloss so often?

Did the public ask for self checkouts?
Personally, although convenient, I don't like the dynamics around them.
Where I come from, it's actually illegal to look into your bag as a quick check-up and whatever, unless a police officer is present.

Why didn't you just say "excuse me please" and then go over to the part of the shop you wanted to go to? Your whole post is really odd. It's perfectly normal to show your reciept when something in your bag has set off the alarms, that is an absolute non event. I can't work out whether you have some serious anxiety which is leading you to imagine all this or you are intact actually a shoplifter.

No that was another time she was shopping in there. Not the most recent time which was last week.

Yes, but I'd say that the OP has a genuine entitlement to a sunflower lanyard.

I'm in my 60s. I was diagnosed with OCD in my mid thirties. Last year, it was suggested that I have ASD and ADHD.

I'm not surprised - a younger relative has Asperger's - as it was then termed - and it's fairly clear that many in my mum's side of the family have traits of ASD.

I've worked with secondary school pupils with ASD and I recall speaking to one lad and having the revelation that it was like looking at a male version of myself at the same age. I'm pretty good at "masking" at work, but less so in social situations.

I recall my mum telling me off for looking "suspicious" when I was shopping in Woolie's and Boot's. Mind you, I think that part of that was the fact that I was a teen...From what the OP has said, her problem is much worse than mine. I really do think that a lanyard might help to an extent.

I agree with all of the above @Startyabastard

1. Wear a sunflower lanyard
2. Take a basket (you know it might be a way to get you to buy more, so you're aware of that, so don't put more in it than you intend)
3. Stop talking randomly to staff
4. Always take a receipt. If you're directed to self-service by a staff member, use your sunflower lanyard to ask a staff member to help you (and to remind you to take the receipt).
5. Consider shopping without the trolley.

I imagine you are being targetted by security which makes you try to act like a regular shopper but your mannerisms aren't quite right so you look more suspicious.

You can't do much about your mannerisms so you're going to need to change the other things you have more control over.

If you’re looking decidedly dodgy what else do you expect them to do 🤷🏼‍♀️
They’re doing their job to protect the store and staff from shop lifters so stop behaving like you’re one ffs!
I take a wheeled shopper with me and I have never been stopped or even followed by store security.

You haven't previously been accused of shoplifting, taken to a manager office, escorted out of the shop. You have been asked for proof of purchase. Which you sometimes have and other times haven't but the security have been satisfied that you have paid.
So you are a legitimate customer who is fully entitled to browse and shop in the store.
Security are suspicious of you because you have a shopping trolley and are excited about browsing and checking out all the products. It is their job to watch you, and potentially make sure you know they are watching you so that if you were a shoplifter this would deter you.
They are employed by the store. The store wants you to buy things. If you feel that security are threatening you (towering over you and herding you out of the shop) then you are fully entitled to say loudly "excuse me, I need to get past you to the lip glosses I want to look at". If you are a regular and you frequently comment on the products to staff then I would expect some of the staff recognise you. You can ask a staff member for help or advice on the products - you can ask the security guard to point out a staff member as you would like some help choosing.
Allowing yourself to be pushed out of the shop does make it seem as though you are accepting and confirming their suspicions of you.
Do you perhaps like the drama of "forgetting" to collect your receipt and then being able to prove you haven't done anything wrong?

I take a shopping trolley everywhere too and I always hope I don’t look dodgy but honestly my back can’t cope with the carrying I need to do. I haven’t ever been accused thank goodness.

op it sounds like they think you are stealing but they haven’t actually accused you. I think if I were you I would go to a different boots. You are allowed to enjoy the shopping experience but just take a basket and make sure you take your receipt. Get staff to deactivate the tags at the time of purchase. I don’t think there’s another way round this

@Startyabastard

Definitely read up about the sunflower lanyard scheme.

I’m sorry about some of the responses you’ve had here.

I don’t think people should be making judgements about your behaviours, motives or whether you use a trolley or choose not to use a basket.

Shopping should be an inclusive experience for you in Boots - or any store.

Boots have info on their website about inclusivity, and I’m sure most other major stores would have the same.

I really think the sunflower lanyard could work well for you.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hidden_Disabilities_Sunflower

Now every shoplifter will get ☝️ one!
🌻
They are open for anyone to get.

Sweets, it sounds like you have some anxiety from your post and that you’re over analysing what has happened. I think the deeper issue is that you need to focus on your anxiety and to slow down in your daily life xoxo

If you KNOW it is a psychological trick to get people to buy more, then the trick doesn't work, surely? So you can use a basket with a sense of superiority, and a haughty smile because those dastardly wiles won't work on you, hah, etc.

I think there are a lot of young people on here that think OP is pushing a supermarket trolley round boots. I am certain she is using a trolley like the old tartan ones nans used to use.

OP the security guards weren’t towering over you as intimidation they just happened to be taller than you. They probably were trying to guide you out of the store if you were acting suspiciously and watching them (most people don’t think about security guards when they are shopping) and you made yourself look more suspicious by leaving - the best option would have been to carry on, saying excuse me I need to get to the lip gloss.

Do you have a friend who can go shopping with you and show you how people usually behave when shopping?

It’s a bizarre post.
Baskets aren’t there to make one buy more.

Cosmetics are small, high value items and probably stolen a lot.

As to “OP not having much as a child”
Many many thousand of children go without, but don’t steal or get accused of stealing as adults.

So am I.

There was no conversation, the OP was not detained or arrested, but she thought she'd start an incomprehensible thread about this non-event.

Are you this dramatic always @Startyabastard?

And for the record, I buy two lip glosses a year, on average.

Why are you in Boots getting so many lip glosses every week? That's just weird.

It seems Boots prefer to treat all their customers as thieves and in doing so lose their business.

It’s really simple. What reaction do they expect? I have no idea why they aren’t publicly and regularly held to account on this.
If you treat your customers like shoplifters then you cannot expect their custom… especially when shop lifters are allowed to just run out of the store.

The lanyard is a very good idea.

I don't want a basket because I know it's a psychological trick to make you buy more.

It really isn't. @Startyabastard you are seriously overthinking this.

I'm not surprised security were watching you - from your posts
you were clearly watching them!

I don't blame them for keeping any eye on you, the way you were behaving was bound to raise their suspicions. Anyone would think you wanted them to accuse you.

Getting stopped when the bleeper goes off is just part and parcel of shopping these days and I imagine most people have been stopped at some time or other.

Next time, make sure you remember to get a receipt and have it to hand. It's no big deal, bleepers go off all the time. Just show them a receipt, go on your merry way and stop the drama.