Childcare costs

OP, you need to make peace with the fact that you can’t save money in the way that you would like to while you have expensive childcare costs. It won’t always be that way.

The young children phase where you need paid childcare is one where most people don’t get a chance to save, realistically! Whether you’re on a low salary or a high one.

Was thinking the same. Quite sad really

That's what it costs to pay other people to bring up your children. Parents (not just women, all parents) can't have it all.

Could you scrap nursery and have your nanny 7.30-6 or something like that, and include drop off, all day with your pre schooler and pick ups? Can you and your husband alternate days in the office to avoid needing childcare until 8pm?

We had a nanny and the flexibility really helped us but they are expensive. We also had a nanny for our youngest and pre school for our older two so I understand the high costs but these years are short.

Oh right, so it’s not that you can’t afford it, just that you don’t put away any savings (aside from what will no doubt be a decent pension, as PP mentioned) not really sure what the issue is then. You’ve got 3 children, you’re in London, you need lots of paid childcare, and you can clearly afford to fund it.

I think it's fine, you have 3 young children and 2 high earning full time working wage earners.
You are using 2 of the most expensive forms of childcare.
Lots of people spend lots of money on childcare if they don't have family around who can help.
It's possibly unrealistic to expect to be able to put savings aside every month of your working lives, but I expect you both currently put substantial sums into your pensions (savings for retirement) and mortgage (increasing equity)?

I work to cover my bills (including childcare) and am currently using savings to live, petrol in the car etc. if that helps you contextualise your budgeting concerns?

Why not just employ a nanny for all your childcare needs? Why the added nursery? That would be cheaper.

It’s unusually high because you have an unusually large amount of paid childcare. When our dc were that age, nursery was about £200-300 a month for FT after 30 funded hours. We used no wraparound care because we worked compressed/staggered hours on alternate days. This was with Dh as a company director and me with a London job with long commute, but wfh part of the week. £200-300 per month and we covered the same hours.

Wouldn't it be cheaper to not use nursery and have a au pair who live in?

The costs sound reasonable for what you get, it’s a hell of a lot more than most people use.

Depends what your question really is I guess. are you struggling and need to cut back? Then you need to look at reducing or moving some of your hours so you don’t need the nanny so much. Or is one of you actually home some of the time the nanny works? If you’re struggling with the cost then you need to learn to do without that luxury.

In families I know, it’s rare to have two full time workers in the office 8-6, 5 days a week. Because that makes it very difficult to balance parenting. People find ways round it - working flexibly, working from home to skip commute, working part time or compressing hours. In fact the only couple I know who both work full time like that have a full time live in nanny.

What hours do you actually need to cover, are both you and your partner out of the house 7am to 8pm? Could you find a way to alternate hours, so one starts a little later and the other finishes a bit earlier, that way you could just use nursery/afterschool without needing a nanny. That's how we did it, DH started work at 7am so I could do breakfast and drop off, I worked till 7pm and he did pick up and dinner.

Well as they can afford £5k pm on just childcare fees, they're fine...

It is a lot but you have a nanny.

It probably averages out as the nanny will likely be covering all school holidays, potentially working 7-7, with less general hours in term time but still available incase of sickness, inset days etc.

Why does she need to be the there during bath time? I don’t know if that’s normal for me anyway. I pay 50 quid a week for Afterschool care for dc. I collect them at 4:30/5.

Well, you're doubling up with childcare aren't you? It's always going to be more expensive. A nanny is quite a luxury too - the vast majority of people I know use before/after school clubs when children get to primary if they're working full time.

Most people don’t use a nanny because they aren’t affordable for most people. I assume you have one because you work long hours and that’s why you need support for dinner/bedtime. So you either accept the cost if your job is high paying and you want to keep doing it, or you ask to cut back on hours/find a more flexible job.

The nanny is working 7.2 hours a day Monday to Friday? Is that 2 hours 7-9am and then 3-8pm?

Can you work from home on any days, do condensed hours or finish at 5pm? Is the use of a nanny because you can’t use after school clubs and get there in time?

To answer your question no this is a lot of childcare costs, for most people the most expensive is nursery and it decreases drastically in primary school.

You have a nanny. You pay the nanny a good wage and rightly are responsible for the costs associated with having someone in your employ. I am a nanny- it’s definitely a luxury to have one and not the general norm. You really need to be looking at whether this is something you can truly afford.

You're asking if it's normal for people to spend 5k a month on childcare?

Obviously not. A lot of people don't even bring home 5k between them.