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Original poster

Splitting chores - what's my fair share?

31 replies

UnderTheTea · 03/11/2024 07:38

I work from home, 20 hours a week, over 6 days, earning £2300 pcm

DH works 1 hr away, 30 hours a week over 3 days, earning £1900 pcm

How would you split household chores? 50/50?

OP posts:
BlueMum16 · 03/11/2024 07:58

UnderTheTea · 03/11/2024 07:49

I agree, and although DH works more hours & has a commute, it's only 3 days a week whereas I work over 6 days.

So it sort of equals out?

Currently I'm doing 100% of all cooking/housework and DH thinks this is okay because 'you're home anyway'.

Show quote history

How much time is actually spent on chores for two of you?

He's working long days. You cook dinner those 3 nights.

He cooks dinner another 3 night.
There's likely only two loads of laundry a week so not a biggie to stick a wash on.

Then the other chores spilt between you, an hour each. It's really not difficult.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 03/11/2024 07:57

List all the jobs out and talk about which ones he is going to do. He is not working four days per week, there is plenty of time for him to do the weekly shop & hoovering, for example. What does he do with his four days currently?

Completelyjo · 03/11/2024 07:55

UnderTheTea · 03/11/2024 07:49

I agree, and although DH works more hours & has a commute, it's only 3 days a week whereas I work over 6 days.

So it sort of equals out?

Currently I'm doing 100% of all cooking/housework and DH thinks this is okay because 'you're home anyway'.

Show quote history

Point out to him that he’s home 4 days too.

Its give and take in a normal caring relationship, 50/50 isn’t doing the exact same things. It might make sense for you to do dinner when he’s at work as you’re home to prep, but then he has 4 days to pick up other bits to even it out.

I really don’t think it should be this hard with only two people.
If you were considering kids with this man in the future this needs to be addressed now.

TwinklyRoseTurtle · 03/11/2024 07:53

I think if your home no issue to put something in the slow cooker/ make a quick dinner, do laundry etc but your partner then needs to do all the dishes/hoovering etc to make it fair x

Original poster
UnderTheTea · 03/11/2024 07:49

Completelyjo · 03/11/2024 07:43

Income is irrelevant, in a fair partnership hours worked and free time is a more equitable consideration.

Roughly 50/50 is about fair anyway, there’s really no need for too much of an uneven split when there’s just two adults and no kids. It should be pretty easy for both adults to contribute.

I agree, and although DH works more hours & has a commute, it's only 3 days a week whereas I work over 6 days.

So it sort of equals out?

Currently I'm doing 100% of all cooking/housework and DH thinks this is okay because 'you're home anyway'.

OP posts:
Completelyjo · 03/11/2024 07:43

Income is irrelevant, in a fair partnership hours worked and free time is a more equitable consideration.

Roughly 50/50 is about fair anyway, there’s really no need for too much of an uneven split when there’s just two adults and no kids. It should be pretty easy for both adults to contribute.