To walk away immediately from this

"I see OP becoming irate that the ex is there, threatened, and wanting to make sure he will parade their relationship and him being like nah that's a bit vulgar. Her in his face, red faced, crying, will you dance with me? WONT YOU EVEN TOUCH ME?!?!?!?!"

@Jade your imagination has taken quite a flight of fancy on this thread.
Perhaps you should seek out a creative outlet for that rather than inventing scenarios in your head then posting on here as though you've got it nailed.
It's rude and makes you seem full of yourself.

I did say that and actually, nobody other than the OP really has much place to expect anything from me or my replies. I'm replying to the OP's situation, not to satisfy other members of the site. At the very most, the OP has to find my post relevant..not even helpful. Your expectation that my posts should be to your liking is entitlement from you.

On many forums, you wouldn't even be allowed to critique the posts of other people replying to the OP. You give your opinion, clarify it or ask someone to clarify theirs. You aren't there to judge other people's advice.

Maybe stick to interacting with OPs and you won't get into these pointless interactions.

I asked him outright when we were talking about staying overnight at the party venue. I said “do you want to share a room or do I need to worry about you running off with Susan at the party?”

It was a genuine question but asked jokingly, as I thought I knew the answer!

See, if you’d said this in an earlier post, rather than being so rude and insulting to anyone with a different opinion, you might have had a better response.

But as an aside, the OP wasn’t intending to use the party to announce her casual relationship with Chad. Everyone already knows about it. She was just refusing to let herself be used as Chad’s Plan B, which is very sensible of her.

Not defensive. Just speculating the same as you are.

You see, this is someone's engagement party, the ex could potentially be weird about the whole thing and our love triangle become centered on their special day. This is another reason I really wouldn't mind if we didn't use their social event to announce our relationship. Better just to keep our heads down and let the couple enjoy their night than insist on making it all about me and my relationship.

It's just how I've been raised. You know not everything has to be about me and mine.

😂 I can assure you that I, like most adults, can mingle at social and work events alone.

I just wouldn’t tolerate a man I was seeing asking me to pretend I dont know him so he can see if he can get his leg over his ex!

but clearly you would - and that’s okay. Horses for courses.

but don’t pretend women who have standards are needy, pathetic losers.

Why so defensive Chad? Sorry, I mean Jade? 😁

No idea. They might have been. What I saw is that my mother and father were able to interact as full humans without leaning on their partners. You know like well balanced, fulfilled adults?? Probably not....

I hope you ever so casually let everyone know that you and Chad are no longer seeing each other, and why. So when he turns up at the party, everyone will think he’s a complete arse and he gets a taste of that humiliation. I’d also follow @NotOneOfTheInCrowd’s suggestion. Just to make totally sure that Chad’s evening doesn’t turn out quite the way he’s hoping.

Man tries to have his cake and eat it. Discovers woman isn’t a cafe.

Hang on.

You've 'been seeing each other a few months, although nothing serious yet'
&
'they were casually dating before she left.'

You and she are in exactly the same category. Two women he has casually dated. They stopped casually dating when she left, then he started casually dating you.

To me, this is exactly what dating should be for, and used to be for. Seeing multiple people until you wanted to commit exclusively to one of them.

Casually dating is not commitment, or even exclusivity.

If you like him, why not simply carry on casually seeing him, as you have been perfectly happy doing until now; while also seeing what happens between him and others, and between you and others.

You have been invited to this party as an individual, so go and have fun with whoever you might meet. You might get on well this old flame, for starters.

Trying to force the issue by assuming and demanding a commitment that simply isn't there, is, to me, artificial, irrational, counterproductive, a bit odd.

Posting as I see I this is a minority view!

Your parents were swingers😊? They pretended to be single at parties in case they met someone they could sleep with?

I’m afraid I don’t agree. All the friends at the party know we’ve been seeing each other. It’d be so humiliating to have to pretend we weren’t. She isn’t even a proper ex. Just someone he was shagging. He just wants to keep his options open, I think.

I don't see that as being treated like crap. I'm at a party to mingle, not showcase my relationship. I would be surprised if I spend 50% of the time by his side, I'm chatting and dancing and things.

That's a lot different to don't come anywhere near me at all (not even 'less than 50% of the time') because there's someone else there that I might want to get off with. Would you be quite so cool with that?

I think we have taken different things from this.

you have done the but I’m a cool girl I can be independent at a party and talk to other people - this woman needs to be stuck to her man I case he glanced at another girl.

i have taken it that Chad wants to be able to tell people he isn’t in a relationship with OP because he might want to rekindle his relationship with this old flame. Which is great he is being honest. But then he is turning on OP by saying she is pressuring him. I would walk away because I have self esteem and would be in any sort of relationship with man who wanted to pretend he ain’t seeing me in case it reduces his chances of veto g it on with his ex.

its not about being stuck together at the party, its about self worth.