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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away immediately from this

306 replies

Consoprize · 03/11/2024 07:34

I met a man through a mutual group of friends. Let’s call him Chad . We’ve been seeing each other a few months, although nothing serious yet.

Chad and I are supposed to go on a trip at the end of november to see a concert. I have the tickets and hotel booking and he hasn’t paid his share yet.

Our mutual friends are throwing an engagement party in December. We were both invited. The engaged couple know we’ve been seeing each other. It’s not a secret.

An old flame of Chad’s is also going to the party. She is flying in from overseas. I know he hasn’t seen her since she left the U.K but they were casually dating before she left.

I jokingly asked Chad if I needed to be concerned that he’d be with her at the party, rather than me.

Chad said he actually wasn’t sure…but feels it might be best to agree that he and I aren’t “together” at the party itself as he “doesn’t want to be in a difficult situation”.

I have told Chad that that didn’t work for me, that I’m keeping the concert tickets and to not contact me ever again.

Chad wants to talk about it some more. Chad thinks he should be allowed more time to think it through. He feels I’m being pushy and giving him an ultimatum.

I’ve told Chad to shove it up his arse and the very fact he even has to think about it, tells me everything I need to know about how he perceives me. He thinks that’s unfair of me before we’ve even talked about it.

I don’t think IABU here, surely?

OP posts:
UpTheMagicChristmasTree · 03/11/2024 07:44

Nope, you aren't just an option, you are worth far more than that. Lucky escape!

SensibleSigma · 03/11/2024 07:43

Man tries to have his cake and eat it. Discovers woman isn’t a cafe.

Nightsaidfred · 03/11/2024 07:43

Good on you Consoprize, you did the right thing 👏.

ZippyPeer · 03/11/2024 07:42

Suggests he severely lacks imagination, how can he not realise how this would make you feel? What an idiot

heldinadream · 03/11/2024 07:40

@Consoprize 💪
Chad 🙄🚩🚩🚩
Well done OP.

Dreamerinme · 03/11/2024 07:37

He’s clearly told you he wants to keep his options open so YANBU to throw this one back. What a creep.