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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To walk away immediately from this

306 replies

Consoprize · 03/11/2024 07:34

I met a man through a mutual group of friends. Let’s call him Chad . We’ve been seeing each other a few months, although nothing serious yet.

Chad and I are supposed to go on a trip at the end of november to see a concert. I have the tickets and hotel booking and he hasn’t paid his share yet.

Our mutual friends are throwing an engagement party in December. We were both invited. The engaged couple know we’ve been seeing each other. It’s not a secret.

An old flame of Chad’s is also going to the party. She is flying in from overseas. I know he hasn’t seen her since she left the U.K but they were casually dating before she left.

I jokingly asked Chad if I needed to be concerned that he’d be with her at the party, rather than me.

Chad said he actually wasn’t sure…but feels it might be best to agree that he and I aren’t “together” at the party itself as he “doesn’t want to be in a difficult situation”.

I have told Chad that that didn’t work for me, that I’m keeping the concert tickets and to not contact me ever again.

Chad wants to talk about it some more. Chad thinks he should be allowed more time to think it through. He feels I’m being pushy and giving him an ultimatum.

I’ve told Chad to shove it up his arse and the very fact he even has to think about it, tells me everything I need to know about how he perceives me. He thinks that’s unfair of me before we’ve even talked about it.

I don’t think IABU here, surely?

OP posts:
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Genevieva · 04/11/2024 17:18

Good call. You’re not a dish at an all you can eat buffet.

SapphireSeptember · 04/11/2024 14:27

SensibleSigma · 03/11/2024 07:43

Man tries to have his cake and eat it. Discovers woman isn’t a cafe.

Stealing that!

SunnyHappyPeople · 04/11/2024 08:26

SensibleSigma · 03/11/2024 07:43

Man tries to have his cake and eat it. Discovers woman isn’t a cafe.

Love that!

Teacherprebaby · 03/11/2024 22:01

Can people stop derailing the thread with their own insecurities.

Gymnopedie · 03/11/2024 20:48

So I don't need for our relationship to be broadcast and centered at every moment.

Good for you. Most women don't either.

However if you were both going to a party and your man said he didn't want you to show in any way that you and he had any sort of relationship, so that if he fancied getting off with someone else it would appear to that someone that he was perfectly free to do so - how cool would that be?

And if your answer is that he wouldn't do that, then you're not in the same position as the OP so what you do or feel is irrelevant.

ToMeToYou2 · 03/11/2024 20:08

.

Cuppachino · 03/11/2024 19:53

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OneLimeGuide · 03/11/2024 19:47

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OneLimeGuide · 03/11/2024 19:46

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Stravaig · 03/11/2024 19:44

I reported a handful of posts for being a personal attack, regardless of who wrote them.

Cuppachino · 03/11/2024 19:33

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OneLimeGuide · 03/11/2024 18:59

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morestraightforward · 03/11/2024 18:40

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morestraightforward · 03/11/2024 18:39

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ThatWarmJadeSeal · 03/11/2024 18:34

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I joined a couple of days ago. What are you talking about?

Cuppachino · 03/11/2024 18:34

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pictoosh · 03/11/2024 18:31

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It shows nothing of the sort. You and your wee daydreams.

morestraightforward · 03/11/2024 18:30

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i do agree that i suspect this guy would be baffled the OP thought they were even in a casual “relationship”.

morestraightforward · 03/11/2024 18:29

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ThatWarmJadeSeal · 03/11/2024 18:26

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Cuppachino · 03/11/2024 18:15

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ThatWarmJadeSeal · 03/11/2024 18:15

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ThatWarmJadeSeal · 03/11/2024 18:14

Cuppachino · 03/11/2024 18:01

Are you still going on about this? You're just making up nonsense. OP never said she only wants to talk to him and only him and won't be interacting with her other friends. Where are you getting that from. Very odd.

Somebody asked me if my parents were swingers because my mother was able to interact without her partner by her side. I'm answering comments directed at me.

ThatWarmJadeSeal · 03/11/2024 18:12

Cuppachino · 03/11/2024 18:09

You sound as if you've been ground down to 'know your place' by your partner. Shame.

No, I've been raised to be confident in my identity outside of being a man's woman. So I don't need for our relationship to be broadcast and centered at every moment. My relationship is one fantastic part of an overall happy, fulfilled life. I wish that for you some day.

Teacherprebaby · 03/11/2024 18:11

Cuppachino · 03/11/2024 18:05

Should she have let him keep the tickets she paid for? Allow him to contact her against her wishes? I think not.

That poster is clearly not worth responding to.