Elderly neighbour feeding our cat

I have the opposite problem. Love having windows open - can’t because neighbors bully cat comes into the house at any opportunity!! I would to keep him out because he scares and attacks my cat

I can’t believe people are being so 🤷‍♀️ about cats. If she’s put a litter tray out and she’s feeding him than that’s awful of her.

OP you could point out that if she wants to see birds she doesn’t want a cat hanging around!

keeping her windows open in all weathers and calling him is despicable. She’s going out of her way to attract your cat. I feel your anger.
keep him inside for a while (winter will be easier), make sure he’s microchipped

Cat proof fencing would be a long term alternative to keeping him inside.

To shit in? Obviously.

My cats come in to use the litter tray and then go outside again.

Catio. He’s in the habit now. Our elderly neighbour did similar with a local cat. I told her it was not on, she was effectively stealing someone’s cat and she shouldn’t encourage it. (We had a very good relationship, she was like our mum, before anyone tells me I’m a terrible person).

Our old next door neighbours were often having dinner parties and our cat used to get the choice bits of leftover salmon or chicken. Plus I found out only after it had been going on literally for years, that he was going next door early every morning for a saucer of milk.

No wonder he was usually on the portly side, but even our vet said you’ll never stop a cat getting assorted titbits elsewhere. Especially if, like ours, he had that ‘pathetic orphan kitten’ act down to a fine art - you know, a particular helpless little mew with one paw raised….

I’d never have an indoor cat, though.

Keep your cat indoors?

Do you know anything about cats? All our cats have gone outside but we still have a litter tray which they use fairly often.

You sound quite unhinged.

Or she might have a nice little cat flap installed.

She says she doesn't feed him and he's coming home for meals. And why would
an outdoor cat need a litter tray?

Your cat obviously likes her better than you.

What are you going to put in the formal letter? Ask her to keep her doors shut?

I would go knock. Tell her his vaccinations are due and has she got x amount.... If she says no tell her because he is your dcat and you therefore have funds to own him. Police recognise trying to steal someone's dcat is now an offence... She is trying to steal your dcat. Report her. Old lady or not. Plenty of other dcats she can choose to own. From a shelter like everyone else does.

Cats choose where they want to live. Your cat probably prefers the peace and quiet of a house with an elderly lady, to a house with children.

She can leave her door open obviously, but she should shoo your cat away when she finds him in her house, not feed him regularly, provide a litter try and encourage him. These weirdos do it because they want a cat without the responsibility of the vet bills.

Parts of Australia now insist that all cats must be indoor cats to protect wildlife. I think it would be really hard to turn a cat used to their freedom into an indoor only cat. Certainly, keeping your cat indoors for a minimum of a week will help them remember where home is.
I had some neighbours who moved abroad. They rehomed their cat with friends three doors down. Once new people had settled into the cat's old home, the cat moved back in with the new owners. I don't think they had wanted a cat but it was determined to live there and after a while everyone gave up and accepted the cat's choice of home.

Well, it's November now. She'd have to be barking mad to keep her doors open all through winter.

Cat proof your garden. That is really all you can do I am afraid. Keep him in.

Legally, it's her house, she's free to have a litter tray, open her doors, put bowls of cat food in her house and garden etc. While you can ask her to alter her set up you really can't force her. The onus is on the cat's owner to control their animal if they aren't happy with where it goes durong its 'outside' time.

You can ask the neighbour to help you though and it'll be far better to keep her on side and friendly. Perhaps saying that sadly you are going to have to shut the cat in permanently if he keeps going 'missing' for so long and maybe agree that daytime (when your daughter is at school) is OK but by teatime he needs to be in your house.

Ultimately though, if your cat doesn't like your household (as much as it likes being outside /visiting the neighbour) then you either need to make home a more welcoming place or force the cat to stay inside.

Cat proof your garden, problem solved

I'd be worried about health damage if someone else was feeding my Maine coons as they are big cats that really need a decent high protein food, not a supermarket offering.

She must be aware that he's not an ordinary moggy just by his size. Could you speak to her about his different food needs? Maybe ask her to feed raw, that could be offputting.

I could see this happening with my boy as he's is the soppiest attention seeker going. It is unusual for Maine coons to be allowed to roam although like you it's the choice I make for mine. I think if this situation arose I'd cat proof our garden perimeter to keep them in the garden. Couldn't bear to confine them to a catio as they love being out. The other thing you could try alongside food needs is showing her his papers as that demonstrates a level of official seeming ownership.

If you just have one Maine coon it's very possible he'd be happier with a cat friend and I'd consider getting a second but that's a high risk strategy as the arrival could cause him to decamp entirely.

YANBU OP. She can keep her doors open if she likes, but she should absolutely NOT be feeding your cat, putting out a litter tray for it or doing anything else that might entice it to stay in her house! My neighbour's cat came into our house a couple of times when they first moved in and I shooed it out again. Cat stealers are the pits. I'd send her a legal letter ordering her to stop feeding your cat and providing cat things in her house. She is welcome to feed the wild animals, but she is clearly going out of her way to buy cat food and litter and entice your cat into her house. Theft is illegal.

Take no notice of the cats choose their owners crap. I’m sure if someone was stealing a dog like this people would be up in arms. Definitely keep the cat in for a while or invest in a cateo.

She's "elderly". Of course everything she does is wrong. When she's out, put a lock on the outside of her windows. That'll show her. Make sure your cat has no assess to a screwdriver, thought.