Elderly neighbour feeding our cat

My neighbour’s cat comes in all the time. They are fine with it because I never feed him. When he wants to leave, I let him out. I never allow him to stay overnight.

The cat’s owner works shifts; she says she’d rather he was in somewhere where he is safe. If she wants him, all she has to do is text me and I’ll send him home.

I love him as much as she does. I’m so lucky that the arrangement works for both of us.

Good luck OP.

If that doesn't work, I think ab earlier suggestion of getting him a camera collar is a good one. I expect he'll soon stop finding his way into her home and/or being fed if she thinks she is being filmed.

depends what the OP means by elderly

My parents, and now as I get older I'm noticing it with friends who are a bit older than me, don't get a pet when a much loved one dies because they are scared about what will happen to the cat/dog should the owner pre-decease them, even when they've been committed pet lovers all their life. This often happens after their partner has died and they would benefit even more from the companionship of a pet - it's terribly sad.

I feel for you OP, but at least you still get to see him.

Good luck, OP. I completely agree it’s stealing and is a heartless thing to do, whatever the age of the thief. Perhaps this cat could also have some kind of medical issue that’s being worsened by your neighbour? Maybe the threat of a vet bill would make her back off?

It really pisses me off 😡 If she wants a cat, she can get her own.

No, but it was mighty hard to maintain to a standard that was acceptable to me, especially as I was working full time. I was cleaning around the clock and it was the main reason why in the end I gave my animals away. I just found that cat hair, litter trays and the need for scratch posts were not appealing to me in the end.

At first I tried to limit the cats to a converted garage room and an outdoor catio. That way I could confine anything undesirable to a small area. This was fine for a while, and the cats weren’t allowed into any other part of the home. But then after a while I thought what’s the point in having them? It’s not like we’d have them on our laps or anything. I was being selfish to the cats, keeping them as an attraction rather than a loved pet. It took some time, but my husband agreed they’d have better lives elsewhere. So that’s what we did and we’ve not had a single pet since and it’s wonderful.

True. But it can be a stage of appropriating someone’s cat.

Thankfully most of us don’t have menfolk willing to or capable of doing what you suggest.
Poor you, you appear to be surrounded by thuggish arseholes.

I pride myself on my clean and hygiene house

Ah. You're one of those people.

Although was your house dirty and unhygienic during the "many years" you had cats?

I’m sorry I wouldn’t be over the moon at your ‘fur-baby’ entering my home when I don’t have any pets myself because I pride myself on my clean and hygiene house. It’s been 15 years nearly since I last had a cat and I have no desire for any visiting now.

And I’m sorry I have a low tolerance for entitled cat owners who claim to not be able to do anything about their animal.

I’ve always lived by the rule, I’ll ask nicely once.

A neighbours escaped rabbit? I’d return it first time and ask them to keep a better eye on it. I’d assume it had escaped a run and someone was missing it. (Unlike cats which owners kick out and expect they will roam into other peoples property, but don’t seem to give a shit).

A wild rabbit - wouldn’t happen. I’ve lived in the countryside since 1982. Left my doors open all day. A wild rabbit isn’t coming into the house.

Niceness will fix this where Having A Shouty Go won’t.

Lure kitty back in with treats. Be charming to adorable old lady who is lovely. She and kitty love each other.

Hint: look, no offence, but you’re the problem. If kitty had wanted to stay with you, he would. He has found the home he enjoys.

This is why my cats are indoor cats. I used to volunteer for a cat shelter and it got a bit uncomfortable the way people would ‘rescue’ supposedly fed, healthy cats, going quiet when people suggested asking a vet to look for a chip…I do believe that cats in need will often find a home, hence the ‘cat distribution system’ thing but this set up with your neighbour is not on

@Llhaaf you really are the gift that keeps on giving.....

It's not beauty for allergic, non cat loving neighbours who find shit in their gardens persistently though.

God I hate this bullshit from cat owners. If cats can't be looked after and prevented from being a nuisance then they shouldn't be pets.

But this will annoy the cat lovers. 🙄

Pleasebeafleabite, if the men in your family would go and threaten an elderly woman at your behest, to the extent that she would be too terrified to even report it (as you proudly claimed in your later post), are you not concerned about what else they could be capable of?

I cannot imagine the sort of man who would do this and would be seriously worried about the women around him.

What would you do if a rabbit entered your home?

If I’ve asked a person to ensure their cat doesn’t enter my home and they do nothing, then they don’t deserve a lovely response do they.

Their cat, their responsibility, their problem.

Well aren’t you a lovely person?

Yep. I lost my dear ginger boy to the neighbour. Cats are disloyal bastards.

I didn’t say I was an animal lover and I would hand over the animal to mainly inconvenience the owner.

Ummm. If I buy a cat in the UK, then it is indeed legally my property.

Additionally, according to the Animal Welfare Act, the cat is my responsibility, because it belongs to me.

You might like to think that your cat is as free as a bird to go where it pleases and make its own decisions, but thinking it doesn’t make it fact. Your cat is yours and your responsibility, unless you hand it over to a cat adoption agency like Cats Protection.

Goodness.

My cat loves the neighbours especially this one lady who now appears to be his side chick.
With that said at least I know when he is out, he is being cared for and loved. She has also alerted me to problems I didn't know about and saved his life because of it so.....
He stays in more during Winter as he hates the cold.

Keep the cat in for a few weeks and see if you can get your hands on some wild rats. Loose them out near her open door when she has food down for the cat and watch the fun unfold.

I would cat proof the garden so he can't leave,will need more interaction and play.