Elderly neighbour feeding our cat

Not unless 40 is classed as elderly now! Plus I have my own cat thanks very much.
And to make sure "not my cat" doesn't eat my cats food (like he does at all the other cat neighbour houses) I lock her in to eat.
It's quite funny, when I first moved in I thought he must not get fed at home, because he walked into the back door and proceeded to eat my cats food. Then I watched him walk out proud as punch jump my fence. But having spoken to people on my street he's quite well known for walking in and eating not only any cats food, but any food at all!
He's well loved and well fed at his home too, he does go home to his house every night though. I guess some cats are just like that.
I just couldn't cope with him taking a shit in my kitchen (according to other neighbours he does it regularly because he doesn't like shitting outside)

Shut him in for 2 weeks and feed him really good stuff. Like chicken, fish etc. not all the time, just bits. Because all the cat thieves I’ve known feed cats stuff like rotisserie chicken and roast beef.

I think we’ve found the NDN

1. So you're totally ignoring everyone who's saying that even if you don't feed them if they're comfortable with you they'll come back?
2. Why did you have to go out and buy cat food and cat things? If you have a car surely you should have already had all those? Give the cat to the neighbour - you've clearly been neglecting it.

I don't feed my neighbours cat - he still comes in and makes himself at home, he eats at every other cat house on the street, and then goes home every once in a while.
We all have litter trays because the little shit will happily shit in whatever house he's in litter tray or no litter tray.
You can't force your neighbour to close her door, and you can't force an outdoor to be loyal.

She definitely shouldn’t be doing what she’s doing. She sounds quite lonely though and your cat choosing to come into her house is probably making her feel good. Can you try befriending her and inviting her round for coffee occasionally? You might find she is a good neighbour. And once you are on friendly terms she will be less comfortable with stealing your cat. Plus she will be less lonely and might not have the urge to anymore. Otherwise I think the only option is to keep him in.

Keeping him in should be the first thing, not secondary to threatening the neighbour with the police!

Also the OP putting in her own deterrents like cat proof fencing.

This is a problem of her own making.

‘Dear neighbour. I understand why you might not want to or feel able to keep your doors closed, but I need to ask you again to please not feed my cat. Also can you please use whatever means necessary to discourage him from staying. Here are a some things you could use as a deterrent (you may want to offer to provide something). My children are very upset at the loss of their cat. I must also say if you are encouraging him in I consider that theft and may have no other option than to involve the Police’. The police are unlikely to intervene but it might be enough to frighten her into making more effort.
If that doesn’t work I’m afraid it’s either keep him in or get used to having a part time house guest.

Our cat was being fed by a neighbour for months before she asked us if he was ours one day. Once I had the kids he would bugger off and sleep on her sofa in the day, and then come home for dinner and to sleep in my bed with me at night. She opened her door and the cheeky fucker was sat curled up on her sofa. We wondered how many other houses he was visiting as well. We just left him to it though as he seemed happy and still came home most of the time. Then her cat would come to hang out with him at our house which was brilliant as it meant I had a kind of step cat too.

They are funny creatures, and as frustrating as it is you can't demand she keeps her doors shut. Maybe tell her he's on a special diet and needs prescription food to see if it puts her off feeding him.

Does she shut him in with her though, as I can see why she would need a litter tray if he's an outdoors cat.

I’m so sorry.
Cats do have a reputation for moving house, it’s usually to an older person who is feeding them roasted chicken.
I would be so devastated if this happened to me, I adore my cat and she adores me. But I do have to go to work etc, so if someone else tried to seduce her throughout the day it might just work.
But I’d be very angry and I’d keep her for a few weeks and feed her all her favourite treats and snuggle her rotten.
Two can play that game old lady.

I once had a kitten who went missing for around a week, I was bedside myself. Eventually discovered the pub next door had been encouraging him with ham sandwiches ! They also told me that he had been unwell and they had taken him to the vet - I was horrified, and completely livid ! My phone number was on his tag and they didn’t even call me. Some people are just so selfish and thoughtless.
Keep him in for a few weeks. Get your carpets shampoo’d if possible (you may not be able to smell the previous owner’s dog, but your cat can). Try some Feliway spray. Lots of love, fuss and special food / treats - plus create cosy, calm and quiet places for beds so he can escape the kids when he wants to chill. Finally, get a special warning tag for his collar, saying ‘DO NOT FEED ! ON MEDICATION’ (or something…I’m sure these exist already?). Then tell the neighbour he has a condition which requires a highly specific medicated diet, otherwise he will die.
By then, with any luck your cat may have forgotten about his other home ! I really hope you get this sorted as it’s just horrible when something like this happens.

You can’t do anything about this other than keep your cat inside your house.

😂 This is so funny. Honestly,

word for word my situation a few yrs back.

LOL

I could have written this 5 yrs ago, when we moved to our new home.

OP, today my husband and I enjoy weeklong vacations BECAUSE our friendly elderly cat neighbor (who adores our cats), looks after them for us.

Your cat loves you, so please try not to worry about it. I used to get so flustered then I realized that our neighbors house just had more critters around because she also fed squirrels, birds, raccoons, a skunk… the cats love it.

Get the fencing to cat proof your garden so he can't go?

My neighbours very elderly cat comes to my house. I dont mind abd they don't mind. They have 6 cats and no cat flap I think he comes for peace and quiet. I dont feed him.

One of their other cats though, has also decided to start visiting. It's an entire Tom, breaks through the locked cat flap and sprays everywhere. It's a bloody pain in the atse.

I’d tell them this too.

Our cat went missing for years.
We found him then spotted him ( with a different name ) sitting on someone’s sofa in a picture saying some random local person had lost their cat! That’s our cat!
petsreunited website

they noted
Age….unknown
Chipped….unknown

Obviously they don’t know this stuff they basically stole our cat!

I did find out who they were and we had put flyers in their door and posters on their street when he went missing over many months

On petsreunited I posted a message asking people to not feed other peoples cats and definitely to not steal them.

It’s a nasty thing to do !!

Yes OP someone needs to tell your neighbour to stop!
Tell them your cat is on a special diet and them not conforming to this are basically killing them. I’d mention vet bills too. Your neighbour isn’t invested in their health and well-being

What!!!!???

You definitely can’t do ANY of that!

We had a cat who, six years ago went to live with an elderly couple. The cat was much loved, well fed and spoiled rotten. The couple lived in a quiet culdesac behind us. I can see the house. I saw my cat going in and out.

We tried to woo her back but it was pointless. She’d decided.

It started a lovely friendship for me with the couple. Two years ago, the husband died. I visit my 94 yr old friend every week. I see the cat. The lady has had such an interesting life and is active and an absolute hoot! She grew up in Vienna, remembers the arrival of the Germans, then survived in the woods when driven from her home as a teenager, by the Russian army.

Sometimes, cats just choose. You might try to keep your cat in for a few weeks (as we did) but it didn’t work. She always went “home” to the old couple.

What you cannot do is be cross that your cat has a new pad. It’s just an animal. You also can’t tell the lady what to do/feed the birds etc.

I'm not sure how you'd get the neighbor to wear it, though.

The other option would be an invisible fence/electric shock collar system.
https://cats.com/best-invisible-fences-for-cats

You just don't get it do you op?
You've neglected your cat (you admitted this by saying you've now gone out and bought him toys and intend to play with him) and now the cat is going somewhere else for love and attention you don't like it.
Keep your cat on your own property.
You have the power to solve this problem without sending your thug of a husband round to threaten an old lady with Violence

We had this, our boy was trotting over the road to the elderly lady...now he's disappeared totally, because someone else has done the same but we don't know where is is...the old lady was upset as she said she loved him...not seeing the irony..

She's not going to stop, there's nothing you can do about her behaviour. So it doesn't actually matter if she is right or wrong, only what you can do to change matters.

As you can't change her approach, perhaps you can change your own. Keep your cat indoors for a while perhaps? Or build the cat a run?