When you see me doing this I'm really ..

Since I was a child, I've snapped chocolate bars, poked cakes, squashed packets of biscuits & crisps in supermarkets. I don't do it regularly, but when the urge happens, I just can't stop myself. It's like a compulsion

Hayporth? Apeth, surely.

When I'm taking my time washing or drying my hands in a public loo, I'm really waiting for someone to come in the main door so I can hook my foot or elbow on the door to exit so I don't have to touch the handle

Tissue or sleeve, you daft hayporth.

I don’t think it’s fair or helpful to call someone a ‘horrible human’ for behaving like this. They might be a wonderfully kind person in many ways but for whatever reason have a compulsion that they find very difficult to control. We have no knowledge of what this poster is really like and what prompted these behaviours when they were a child. I’d be concerned rather than critical.

I don’t think it’s fair or helpful to call someone a ‘horrible human’ for behaving like this. They might be a wonderfully kind person in many ways but for whatever reason have a compulsion that they find very difficult to control. We have no knowledge of what this poster is really like and what prompted these behaviours when they were a child. I’d be concerned rather than critical.

I wonder who buys the squashed cakes.

Since I was a child, I've snapped chocolate bars, poked cakes, squashed packets of biscuits & crisps in supermarkets. I don't do it regularly, but when the urge happens, I just can't stop myself. It's like a compulsion

Wtf?! Are we all going to pretend this is anything but pure nastiness?! What a horrible human you must be to ruin things for others for no apparent reason. Dreadful. I knew horrible people existed but the complete pointlessness of this really delivers how mean people are.

When I lived alone, I used to cheerily call “see ya, Holly- call me if you want anything from the shops” as I locked the front door behind me.

Holly was my pet rabbit.

It can get obsessional for someone, part of their routine.You might think it’s ridiculous nonsense, however, if it’s not affecting you, it’s not really your concern.

Since I was a child, I've snapped chocolate bars, poked cakes, squashed packets of biscuits & crisps in supermarkets. I don't do it regularly, but when the urge happens, I just can't stop myself. It's like a compulsion

MN is a parallel universe at times. I couldn't be bothered with all that drama, and constantly worrying about and trying to avoid "germs" is ridiculous nonsense.

I pretend I’ve lost my debit/credit cards if I’m in a restaurant with an added service charge and the service was shit or not worth the full amount. I make sure I always have cash and wait till the staff move from the table and leave the cash.
If it’s good service then I’m happy to pay it and usually try to give a cash tip to the person who served me so I know it goes directly to them.

If I need the toilet and have no choice but to use a public toilet I pretend I’m looking for someone first to see how clean it is and how many people are in there.

If I see someone I don’t like in a supermarket I pretend to be friendly with them then put something embarrassing in their trolley like lube and a huge courgette. I live in a small town so I’ve managed to get a small petty revenge on the girls who bullied me and the woman my ex fiance cheated on me with. A stranger once slammed her trolley into me and called me a cunt so I peeled off security tag stickers and stuck them on the back of her coat. She looked genuinely panicked when she was stopped by security so it’s possible I did them a favour and caught a shoplifter 😂.

My friend carries haemorrhoid cream in her bag so if she gets unwanted attention from men she pulls it out as though by accident and asks if they have ever tried it and could they recommend this brand?! They sometimes don’t know what it is so she elaborates on how big her piles are and that usually gets rid of them when she talks about bunches of grapes.

I don’t snap products,or have 3 act plays for every eventuality. Def no haemorrhoid cream or courgette
Maul the door handle with spontaneous abandon, unless your immunosuppressed nothing major going to happen

I've found a kindred spirit! I can't imagine doing any of these things.

I pretend I’ve lost my debit/credit cards if I’m in a restaurant with an added service charge and the service was shit or not worth the full amount. I make sure I always have cash and wait till the staff move from the table and leave the cash.
If it’s good service then I’m happy to pay it and usually try to give a cash tip to the person who served me so I know it goes directly to them.

If I need the toilet and have no choice but to use a public toilet I pretend I’m looking for someone first to see how clean it is and how many people are in there.

If I see someone I don’t like in a supermarket I pretend to be friendly with them then put something embarrassing in their trolley like lube and a huge courgette. I live in a small town so I’ve managed to get a small petty revenge on the girls who bullied me and the woman my ex fiance cheated on me with. A stranger once slammed her trolley into me and called me a cunt so I peeled off security tag stickers and stuck them on the back of her coat. She looked genuinely panicked when she was stopped by security so it’s possible I did them a favour and caught a shoplifter 😂.

My friend carries haemorrhoid cream in her bag so if she gets unwanted attention from men she pulls it out as though by accident and asks if they have ever tried it and could they recommend this brand?! They sometimes don’t know what it is so she elaborates on how big her piles are and that usually gets rid of them when she talks about bunches of grapes.

Well you’re certainly busy with your foibles and quirks.
in comparison I’m more prosaic, no hidden depths,funny waves or hooked elbow

Is there a name for this behaviour? Aside from daft