To understand why some women have children within a a short time with multiple different partners?

Some people will say they're just doing it for the benefits but I don't think so, universal credit is capped at two kids and child benefit is only a measly 16 pound for all kids except the first one.
Honestly I think they just have low IQs, I say this as someone who had my first child at 16 and three by 25, at least all my children have the same baby daddy and he has a good job.

No one needs to take offense if you have more than one baby daddy we get it life happens but this is about the girls who have 3+ baby daddies and have a child with a new one after a couple of months. No hatred towards them from me just understanding that they have low IQs.

With DNA testing we can be sure who the father is. Why not come down really hard on these men to provide for the children they conceive. For instance I believe in the USA you lose your driving licence if you don't cough up child support.
Hopefully this would get blokes to deal more responsibly with contraception.

Tbf, the OP is not describing her relative as being a decent mother and working hard for a living. It's not just about having 3 different fathers for 3 DC's. It's about having more DC's when you don't want to care for the ones you already have, and cant afford the ones you have, that perplexes people. It's repeating the same pattern and being left with the same unwanted consequences, and sad for any DC's who's father doesn't want to know them. I'm sure OP's relative has completely different reasons than @Spanglishmummy3 has, the 2 situations are clearly not the same.

Honestly I would judge you as a midwife for either not being better with contraception or planning 3 pregnancies with 3 different men. It's hardly a stable family background for your kids having such a complex family structure. And yes, I judge the fathers equally.

I couldn’t agree more, I am shocked at how many people have jumped on this thread to make assumptions and put women down. Absolutely disgusting.

I know, thank you ❤️, I thought that as soon as I sent it but some people are so judgemental , I never thought I’d be a single mother let alone two dads but now my output has completely changed and I wouldn’t change my story for the world ❤️❤️❤️

If she lives on benefits and 3 child maintenances she’s probably getting the equivalent or a bit more of a minimum wage, with the benefit of not having to work. And if other people are taking care of her children it sounds like quite a relaxed life.
The root of the problem is that we have a broken society that rewards broken people. And to top it all off every aspect of our lives has lost its meaning. Marriage holds no value, family holds no value, having a profession holds no value, and for late millennials and gen z hard work holds no value. (They’re underpaid, and treated as if they’re disposable by employers whilst most will never be able to own a house). I think women like her are trying to find a sense of purpose and a livelihood in the few avenues they still have left at their disposal, much like the rest of us.

From my experience the women who are like this are just very impulsive. There are obviously men like this too but it's easier for the men to walk away from the kids. Unfortunately anyone that is fertile can have children.

Please don't feel you have to explain to these people. I've just done the same! Awful! I honestly don't know why I let people like this bother me

yes it's vile.

The amount of people who don't think women should have bodily autonomy is astonishing as were the responses to my post.

Agreed

What a disgusting thread with so many internally misogynistic replies.

It’s none of your actual business! I’m 43 and have 3 children by different fathers! I’m not a psychopath, I work extremely hard as a midwife. I’m pretty sure I’m judged by the likes of horrid people like you! You’ve no idea of my personal situation, or of anyone’s just because it isn’t your own dynamic.

Shame on you! The women/mothers on here and the judgment and sense of entitlement! I doubt any of you are perfect! Doubt all of you are hard workers!

You sit there making assumptions about these women. Let me tell you, there is also a view for women like you.

She could be looking for love. The abandonment she's giving may the abandonment she experienced herself. We become our parents whether we want to hear that or not.

She may be thinking the same things as people are saying, which is why am I doing this, but she hasn't the gumption to actually address her behaviour.

No way justifying the behaviour as it callous, however she clearly has issues to deal with.

I’m actually disgusted at this thread. I’m a mother of 3, different fathers. I’m also a midwife, never asked support of parents, well educated, well travelled, always worked. How dare you all generalise like this when you know nothing about each individual’s life! How very entitled! This is absolutely vile and to be honest the thread should be removed. Easy to see the type of people judging and how very sad!

I understand some people are saying it's the grandparents choice to look after the grandkids but if they didn't, where would the kids go? I feel like they wouldn't want the kids to be looked after by random people as it seems like she isn't that fussed. And I would be the same if it was my grandkids, I'd have to have the kids as much I as understand I am enabling my child, I also won't allow random people to look after them or worse, they get taken away

Lots of different reasons, depending on the person. You'd have to ask someone who's walked the path.
Maybe ask your inlaw why? She's best placed to answer.

as a woman who used to think the same - I have two children two dads. The first was a fling I didn’t want to have an abortion and accepted from day one I was doing it alone … the second was a man I have known for years before I became a mother he’s a great dad to his other children and was amazing with my son and uplifted me when I was alone and had no support when I had my son … long story but he’s a complete emotionally abusing narcissist and as soon as we planned to have my second son he decided he didn’t want to know after we planned him with ovulation kits … so when I had my second son I never envisioned being alone again - but some women choose to stay abusive relationships because they don’t want to move on and have other children with other people or for whatever reason … but as soon as he showed his true colours I moved away and left all the bullying which came when I became pregnant behind .. it’s hard being a single mom, I didn’t plan it to be this way but I have also learned not to judge others as the same thing you judge could be your reality in the future. And now I look back I wouldn’t change my story for the world being a single mother has given m strength , my life has turned out way better than I could have imagined. I don’t see anybody as I am super wary of men now. But I do want more children in the future when I find someone genuine as I am still young, so I will one day have three children and three baby dads I guess 😂❤️

What a nasty and pointless thread. There are women out there that have multiple children with the same father who rely on UC and family members for childcare?! There are also women whose children have different dads, work full time and not living off UC.
Kate Winslet’s children have three different dads, she has money….no one says anything. In fact if you saw her at the school gates you would probably ask her for her autograph!
This post is a vile reminder that women are being judged and scrutinised all the time, even by their own family members. If you care about your in law why not have a private conversation with her rather than this.

I asked ‘my’ one how these came about and what attracted her. She replied that they were good looking (as is she) ! There was no consideration as to other attributes and she turned a blind eye to his inability to stay sober, maintain his car licence and frequent change of employment with lots of unemployed down time and no savings. It was an acceptable way of life because he was handsome.

personally I think she is one of these Gals with a Bum Detector. I’ve told her that myself and her mother’s friend will be interviewing any future candidates but she isn’t admitting to having any (we know she is).

she wants to improve her lot, but when suggestions are made they are discounted. I think she is waiting for Mr Right who will pick her because of her looks and great shape. She recently had a flat tyre and I went to help her, had some sap trying to change it for her but her personality was completely different. The hormones were raging and she belittled some of my effort to help.. she wasn’t the person I know her to be…. So it’s not lack of confidence which initially I thought was why she was attracting the wrong sort.

And we the people (taxpayers, net contributors to society) are paying her through UC to fund this lifestyle.

And as long as her parents support her they also facilitate it,

Yeah, it's one of those where I guess you have to walk in someone's shoes and all that.

I think some people are genuinely a bit feckless and just kind of float through life on a wing and a prayer. I try not to judge. Presumably they have different experiences, needs and values to me.

I'm not sure it's a very socially responsible or popular thing to do to keep having children with no means of supporting them. 😩 However, we live in a civilised country where we've committed to end or reduce child poverty, so if someone is prepared to live the life of Riley, and live on their wits, then there's not much anyone can do to stop them.

I wouldn't swap places. I'm not envious of them. I don't think it's an easy life. If that's the best they can do for themselves then who am I to hold that against them?

I do fear for the children, but as long as they are not being exploited or abused, they might have a happy life. Kids don't need wealth. In some parts of the world, parents have to work incredibly hard to provide a lower standard of living than can be achieved here for nothing.

So - ? - it's not worth getting exorcised about it.

I think the point the poster is making with 'her body her choice' is that no matter what we think, how we feel, it will always be her body her choice.

The only way this will change is if you force sterilisation or abortion.

The operative word being FORCE.

It doesn't mean any more than that. The poster doesn't even need demonstrate her feelings or views on the subject. Saying her body her choice doesn't even tell us what the poster thinks. All she is doing is stating the fact in our society at present.

Until we become Gilead, this is currently fact.

It’s absolutely moronic, this comment. It’s no accident that the people who bleat out: “her body, her choice” use the same cliched little maxim about people who refuse vaccines and do other stupid and self defeating things.