To understand why some women have children within a a short time with multiple different partners?

100%

Years ago, the woman downstairs had 3 children by 3 different men - none of paid child support nor were they involved in the children's lives.

She chatted to a guy I had met on holiday when he came to visit me. When he returned she told me she had also met someone and wouldn't it be great if we got pregnant at the same time. She seemed shocked when I said I was not looking to get pregnant - I barely knew him and I was 5 months into a new job.

She was very sweet, in love with love and seemed to believe that you proved your love with a baby. She did get pregnant with a fourth and they had split up before the baby was born.

@Yesiknowdear
Im sorry for what you endured. You have done so well to not perpetuate the abuse.

Obviously but that's not what OP is asking.

Jordan Peterson rabbit hole folks. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2018/feb/07/how-dangerous-is-jordan-b-peterson-the-rightwing-professor-who-hit-a-hornets-nest

I think claiming having one night stands or a series of short relationships does not turn a person into a psychopath is based in right wing propaganda.

Women have sex with a series of men producing babies as they go along for many reasons. Some are addicted to the newborn stage for a start off. Others are trying to get it right this time. And yes, some may be narcissistic and psychopaths because psychopathy exists in society. However, I would say the vast majority are in some way damaged and suffering from mental health issues.

Male psychopaths outnumber women 6 to 1. His theory that psychopaths are made if they have lots of ons is ludicrous. Were this true the split would be more even.

My difficulty lies with (usually women) who bring new 'partners' into their homes with their childrem. Often not knowing them for long.
I was a single teenage mum and no bloke was getting past my door ! My kid Wasn't been subjected to new man moving in!

@Yesiknowdear I am sorry you were forced to deal with that. Your mother was clueless as to how it would affect you, or she didn't care. Either way, it was totally unfair to put you through that. I just cannot ever understand behavior like your mother's.

You sound like you got through it, albeit with some scars, and I hope you are now living a wonderful, happy life. How did your siblings come through it all? Are you close to your mother?

It's not really a choice, if they don't want to see their own grandchildren go into care, and they can't stop their daughter getting pregnant. That would be my nightmare. I still work FT and even when I retire, it's not to provide childcare to my offspring. It's literally the only time in my life that will be for me!

@SpoonHeader agree

But even if someone wants to be promiscuous, which isn't my business, it's fairly easy not to bring children into the world!

Not sleeping with every woman/man you feel horny around like a dog on heat is also free.

I think past generations made some mistakes, some things they did were wise and we were daft to stop some of it.

But contraception in the U.K. is FREE

I was so shocked the day I realised this given how often women make it sound like preventing accidental pregnancies are so difficult..!

But it's the women who want the babies not the men, if they didn't want them they'd figure out how to use contraception to stop it happening. If she really didn't want kids she'd take the pill AND insist he wears a condom. He has no say in whether she takes the pill or not so only has one form of contraception whereas women have two ie their own and the fact they can refuse to sleep with a man without a condom. If they ever invent the male pill it'll sort all these issues out and it can't come soon enough. But they won't invent it because they know lots of women will hate having their choice to have kids taken from them.

They are idiots. And always "accidentally" getting pregnant. It's funny how the women who are committedly childfree-by-choice almost never seem to end up with babies they didn't want....

That's why before the welfare state these women (I don't agree with what happened to rape victims or one off pregnacy
/taken advantage of) were locked up in mental institutions as thats what their behaviour is, insane and it harms so many.

Her body, her choice but is she supporting her choices? Or is the rest of society?

It's really shitty to saddle offspring with that sort of life, too.

Because there are no significant enough constraints for the not to do so. I feel like I had my first on the young side (27 when DC1 was born but 28 a month alter) 2nd DC 31 and now I laugh at the thought of being “old” when I was pregnant,

It was expensive enough when I was young, with house prices etc..16 years later I’m much better off financially. I’m fortunate to be in a financial position to be able to afford 4 kids but personally I couldn’t think of anyone worse as I couldn’t give 4 children enough quality time for my liking.

I don’t understand it either BUT whenever I have met/known women in these situations none come from privileged backgrounds or have had stable upbringings. Comparisons to young women who have graduated uni, doing gap years travelling etc aren’t always fair because most of the time these are women from comfortable, middle-class upbringings.

I know this isn’t always the case but often it is. I agree with PP that it’s complex and multilayered.

She may be vulnerable to the behaviour of men for some reason. She may have learning disability that is unrecognised. Her family may not be in a position or understanding in the best way to help her understand herself. Different partners coming in and out of the children's lives is more concerning.

I'm appalled by both women and men who have such a casual approach to having children, but I do recognise that it's usually the mothers who are left in the doggy do whilst the so-called dads piss off into the sunshine.

@tobee haven't these women heard of contraception- they are in most cases choosing to get pregnant over and over again in unstable short term relationships - yes the men are total twats in many cases too - but the women are putting themselves in a preventable situation-

The more intelligent the man, the more likely he is to have a vasectomy or use condoms all the time.

People are either brought up with the idea that deferring gratification is beneficial in the long term, or they aren't. If you're in the first group it can be immensely hard to understand the mindset of the second.

DD's BF is a great guy who works really hard. But his parents and two siblings are slobs who live mostly on benefits. I'm not sure how BF acquired the skills to work towards goals growing up with the background that he had, but I'm very impressed with him — more than I am with DD, who we kind of assumed would inherit this attitude from us (which she did).

You also see the opposite in well-off families, though. I know a couple of cases where professional parents have had 2 or 3 children and one of them is still living with them at 35, playing music or whatever, complete failure to launch. My grandmother had a saying, "People go from trade to trade in 3 generations", by which she meant that their kids would do better than them, and then again, but after that it would drop back. There's some truth in that, I think.

If she can pay for them all, and support them all- by all means, go ahead.

But the standard of male she will be having sex with won't be the type to pay for their children or be a responsible parent to these children.

@Beautifulweeds Sounds like she tries to bring these dubious quality men ''to heel'' by getting pregnant?

what?

That's why the state locked up the women years ago, including the poor caught once in a pregnancy types, they didn't want so many psychopaths in society. Now people think what horrors the mental institutions and mother and baby homes were, when we look at an isolation single pregnancy women we see someone who wss young and exploited. The narrative ignores the multiple pregnancy psychopaths though.

It’s their choice to care for the children their daughter keeps having. Obviously they may not feel that letting these children go into foster care is even an option, but they can’t go on absorbing endless children, if they’ve already got three substantially in their care and their daughter is still only 25.

I know someone in a similar situation, who is a single parent in her sixties who is raising her daughter’s two young children, but her daughter is pregnant again, by a man in prison for beating her, but to whom she remains loyal, and her mother says she can’t care for this baby too, as her health isn’t good, she has only a 2-bed flat and is trying to hold down a job. This baby will go into care if her daughter can’t or won’t care for it, and it may be removed anyway if the father is released and the daughter maintains the relationship .