To understand why some women have children within a a short time with multiple different partners?

That is... the most bizarre theory. I'm a stress head and my major stress source is work. I conceived at the drop of a hat. Birth rates are low in Asian countries by choice, and said countries are also notoriously misogynist in the workplace with few opportunities for married women. Which is one of the reasons women there don't want to have many babies. The fact that you conceived after you lost your job could well be sheer coincidence. P.S. working class women have put in long hours at manual, grinding jobs for many centuries while also having many pregnancies.

Different types of stress I think. For some reason work stress is particularly hard on ttc. Which is why east Asian countries with very long work hours culture have the lowest birth rates (have many cousins who don't get pregnant quickly and are all happily married). That's my theory anyway.

You think their lives aren’t stressful?

Women get pregnant in war zones, labour camps, everywhere.

I struggled with fertility for years . Married for 9 years and no babies even though I married at 22. Even got referred to uclh fertility clinic by my GP. Was convinced I needed ivf. Was suddenly made redundant 3 weeks ago and then suddenly fell pregnant.

It's extremely inconvenient but it made me realize that perhaps why I wasn't conceiving was work stress and maybe that's why some people on benefits who don't work have so many children.

I’m old enough to remember when having sex outside of marriage or being engaged, was a big deal. The pill was the great liberation and in case of an unplanned pregnancy, abortion was widely available. I can even remember it being said that the incidence of crisis pregnancies would be v rare, because of the availability of contraception.
Anyone over the age of 50 has seen immense social change, being unmarried and a mother is unremarkable, cohabitation is more common than marriage, divorce is almost as common as remaining married, and cohabiting couples face a more than 50% chance of separating….so our relationships are often impermanent, and for any man or woman who is capable of fathering a child or getting pregnant, I don’t think it is unreasonable to expect that some thought is given to the consequences of engaging in sexual activity, not least because bringing a child into this world is the single greatest responsibility facing an adult.
The woman who is the subject matter of this question may have very good reasons for having children in quick succession with temporary partners. She maybe a marvellous mother, who has just been unlucky in her choice of men, or she may have no interest in a permanent commitment. These things are her choice, but for the children it is different. They are cared for (it appears) by their grandparents, which maybe a role they have filled out of necessity rather than choice…(.we don’t know). The children’s fathers are not parenting them, and the household survives on UC which is a figure designed to discouraged people from being ‘full time” parents, so I imagine that money is very tight. The cost of paid childcare is astronomical so it’s going to be v difficult for the mother to find well paid work and improve the family’s economic circumstances.
Being a single parent on benefits and having to look after 3 little children must be v hard on the system physically and emotionally.
This would not be my lifestyle of choice, but people often find themselves without many choices especially mothers where the relationship has broken down. However if these things have happened to this woman by design, then yes I too would wonder why this woman created circumstances which are so demanding and challenging for herself and her children.

my exs wife did this and it was on purpose

she has 11 kids by 10 different men all asd or adhd they get thousands per month in benefits and both adults(him and her) are on pip as well

first 9 are all conceived with in 6 weeks of each other being born(if you get what i mean)and all one night stands, did on purpose not one knows as she never told them

first she was 17 last at 41

its only her 10th(my ex)that stuck around then 7 months later pregnant again with 11,both planned
she's the most fertile woman i know

my ex went from a dad of 2(my kids 7 years apart)to 13 not that he bothers with my 2 or pays a penny

he only ever been with me as we were together 22 years from the age of 17 so why he ran off with her,(left his disabled kids as well) to all this stress and be a carer to disabled kids that not his and her and left us i will never know

they(well she did) have a enormous 8 bed house,2 bathrooms that turned in to 10 bedrooms as both houses had 2 living rooms that the council knocked 2 in to 1 as adult kid live there still as they are asd and cant live alone

its like a mansion

It sounds like she's quite irresponsible however I do think we should all acknowledge the difference in fertility between people.
It's not always as much of a choice as we think it is.
There are probably women who aren't that careful with birth control and have multiple partners yet luckily never fall pregnant.
I myself have fallen pregnant twice whilst using birth control.. and one of the times I was using two different types of birth control!!
I'm just not going to judge anyone for having any number of kids with any number of men at this point.
It's their own business and alot of it's down to luck.
When I think back to some of the men I've slept with when younger I truly shudder.
I'm very lucky that the man I fell pregnant with was my husband who's a decent guy.
It could have been a very different story.
I'm sorry for women who fall pregnant with men who fk off. But I do not hold them responsible for that..especially not in their early 20s.
Who here hasn't dated an absolute piece of shit in their early 20s? Who here hasn't been lax about contraception at some point, especially when younger?

I posted up thread about a neighbour of mine. She had three kids and was keen to get pregnant with the new boyfriend. She was in love with love, didn't expect anything from the Dads as she could do it all on her own (benefits and mum).

I agree, the attention can send them giddy. All the congratulations, the care, the questions, the bay shower. Who doesnt love a new baby?

@PassMeTheCookies At least young mothers 'generally' have healthy babies. It's the older parents whose babies have lifelong conditions that are a drain on resources.

And why on these these types of threads are fathers never included in the judgement? What about fathers of multiple babies? Are they psychopaths? Low IQ? Feckless?

@sunshinemode I completely agree, which is why I added the line on "generally speaking", as many women do it alone and don't want/need a partner.

I was generalising, but wanted to make the point that those women generally make themselves financially stable beforehand, which links to their level of intelligence and the ability to pre-plan, but I perhaps didn't feel the need to expand on that point further.

I'm really not sure where to begin with this. I think it is a perfectly intelligent choice to make to not have a partner and have a child. Being settled for many intelligent women is not about having a partner. Women can be perfectly settled without having to be married.
If we look at the amount of people on here complaining about partners and disagreement about parenting styles then having a child/children on your own seems like a wholly intelligent choice.

@Fedupcreative86 yep there's a few of them too- I've worked in coworking hubs full of them. Still cocklodgers, but usually better looking , better dressed, more trained and more well spoken

Yep, all about having a man: Sadly I've seen this happen at the other end of the spectrum as well- I know so many hard working, bright, accomplished women who are with these cocklodging arses with no or little ambition. These blokes use her time, emotions and hard earned money to sponge off her whilst he chases some stupid pipe dream usually, promising her the world once it "takes off"/he "makes it". But at last she has a man! (Oh and on the one occasion one of these men did actually make something of himself- with her backing and help- he dumped her straight away. Google "Barbara the builder")

@Fedupcreative86 yep- sums it up well I think - and these girls/women seem to put a lot of store on having a bloke in their life amongst each other- no matter if he's a cock lodging user with little going for him .

Because no one falls in love faster than a man with nowhere to live- single mums are an ideal target for these lowlives, and the women who shack up with them are unfortunately either equally as stupid, desperate or sadly very vulnerable. These people also are not choosy at all- they'll take whomever will have them. I live in a deprived town where this is common- as soon as the bloke gets kicked out of his mums, his mates or his exes for his shit behavuout
, he's straight onto the next unwitting fool, declaring his love 🙄

THIS

This is going to be a circular argument.

Of course it's her body her choice.

It's up to the woman to determine whether other factors are enough for her not to go on to have children in her circumstances.

The fact that you think she should have other consideration is completely irrelevant to her bodily autonomy.

As midwives we are taught to be non-judgmental. You don't know if these women are widowed, have been through an abusive marriage, what reasons they have!

I feel sorry for your children to be honest!

Sorry wrong thread, please ignore the above post.

You are less likely to be raped, thus require an abortion, if men aren't creeping around women easily.

I didn't remotely suggest forced abortion or forced sterilisation......and I don't agree that is the answer at all. Surprised you've even mentioned those options.

I'm just saying it's a truly truly sad situation and the mum is doing her children and her extended family a total disservice .

So it's not just her body her choice..... as .it is affecting so many other people ......

So what's your answer? Forced abortion, forced sterilisation?

Honestly of course it's her choice unless you are suggesting that the state gets to choose which women are 'allowed' to have children.

That's a dangerous game.

But it's not her body her choice.....she has negatively affected her children and her parents who feel they have to provide support

Sorry, I guess I have too many American friends I'm becoming one 😂

Why the use of 'baby daddy' in this thread and not dad/father?