Before meeting my husband, I didn’t have any drama in my life. I’m not a dramatic person and anytime I’ve had issues with people in the past, I’ve been able to deal with them quickly and effectively. I’ve never experienced anything like this before.
For the first few years of our relationship, my (then boyfriend’s) ex, was quietly annoying in the background, but didn’t cause any major issues. He mentioned on several occasions that she had mental health issues and this had been the cause of their relationship deteriorating, but I never saw any of that and as I said, was fine for a few years. We both assumed she had calmed down. They share a child, and my husband and I also have a child.
In the last two years, his ex has ramped up her behaviour to the extent it is effecting my own mental health. I feel anxious a lot, angry, upset, and is impacting our relationship. We argue a lot, we never used to. I can’t concentrate on my job well, or our child, I’m irritable.
Some of the things she has done: sending abusive text messages and emails, not only to my husband but to their child who then ends up extremely distressed. She sends highly
manipulative texts to my stepchild, often abusing or being negative about my husband. She has also sent in the past, highly inappropriate messages, including suicidal and sexual messages, these ones aren’t to my stepchild but to my husband. She refuses to cooperate in any reasonable manner, oftentimes blocking my husband or ignoring his messages so it’s impossible to contact her regarding child arrangements or anything else. In the past she has spread rumours about us to shared acquaintances and has told her child outright lies about us. The most recent thing? Opening up a fraudulent case with the child maintenance service so we are liable for huge payments, and the child maintenance service won’t accept that’s she lying without a child arrangement order from court, which will take months if not years to obtain. Not only do we now have the stress of her erratic behaviour which can be set off at any moment, but also now have the financial stress of my husband - and by extension me - having to find hundreds of pounds a month to pay her, which she isn’t entitled to and we can’t afford whilst also supporting their shared child and ours. It feels constant. As soon as one thing is dealt with, she’s doing something else.
I’ve had enough and want to report her to the police, social services, action fraud etc. I’m sick of her and her behaviour, it’s making me unwell and having a negative impact on our whole household. My husband is in constant bad moods and I have told him all of this but he won’t hear any mention of reporting her to the police or any other service as he thinks it will negatively impact their child and their child will hate us. It’s probably true that his child will ‘hate us’ for a time, but I do think one day they would understand as we have all of the evidence of her behaviour. It’s also not fair on me and our child to have to just put up with this. I’m at the point of wanting to leave as I don’t feel I can take this anymore.