Left DP at pub to get home on his own

He’s slow on the up take OP, his life now revolves round DD - he’s not passing probation as a parent yet.
She’s your priority and should be his too. Lay it on about how you’re still recovering from growing a person and learning how to look after her on your own as he keeps opting out. Arsehole should be on the sofa for a month!

Well done for standing your ground.

I’d expect him to make his own way home tomorrow, bringing food to cook for you (if you’re breastfeeding the way he can feed the baby is to feed you nourishing food) and looking after the baby while you have a bit of time without that responsibility.

Remember, you aren’t being unreasonable. You’re both equally responsible for looking after your daughter. He is her parent.

Sounds like he's not quite grown up yet or realised what being a parent entails. Are you the first of your friendship group to have a child? In all likelihood, the friend he's staying with will either be egging him on as they don't understand or be telling him he's unreasonable too.

I used to pick DH up when DD was teeny if it was convenient as she slept through everything and it didn't cause any issues. If it did for whatever reason, he'd get a taxi/lift or stay with a friend. Once she was older and it wasn't convenient, he didn't even ask anymore. He was one who didn't quite grip what being a parent entailed but is excellent now. They can learn so you may not have a lost cause. Best of luck

For the record, I wouldn't allow him to walk rurally with no street light. Someone from my rural hometown was killed on his walk home from the pub in these circumstances. Alternatives are available - and they are not your responsibility.

@Confused2691 Hope you heal up soon.
Episiotomy is painful , even uninfected, and why should you load your baby into a car to bump down a single track road?

It's not like a woman walking on her own in an isolated place.

An hour's walk for a man is nothing.

Exactly!

I went to a ''Free Party'' one NYE and walked home alone {4 miles} {Woman} in the early dawn as had had enough and the person with the vehicle wasn't ready to leave.

Is he an alcoholic OP?? Or at minimum has a drink problem- because in my experience those who put themselves through so much inconvenience for 1 more drink often are - not that he couldn't have one more at home etc but alcoholics or those who aren't far off want that 'one more' in a social setting.

He sounds like a complete loser. He expects you to keep a small baby up in the pub so you can be his taxi after he has more drink? That's really his priority? To keep drinking and to hell with you and the baby.

Of course he's trying to brainwash you that it's your job to be on call for him when he's drinking even if it means dragging his baby out of bed. Don't fall for his bullshit.

Make it very clear to him that he had the choice: stay and drink and get himself home, or come home with you. He made his choice, he doesn't get to moan at you because he hoped you didn't really mean it.

I'd be reading him the bloody riot act. Good on you not picking him up.

Good on you. I hope he has the most rancid of hangovers, tomorrow, so you can make. It very clear what a self absorbed dick he has been.

That's what he was counting on. These men always count on that.

Accurate. I'm sorry, OP.

I don't understand how anyone copes with living in the countryside, it sounds like endless logistical nightmares.

@Confused2691 you're definitely not being unreasonable

but nice try DP 😂😂😂
#🙄🙄

He is behaving like a dickhead.

I’m actually worried for you that you picked him up 10 days pp in such pain. Heck, I can hardly believe he went to the wedding.

Honestly OP think about your mothering instincts now, and the kind of partner you hope your DD might have in the future. The make sure you demand and expect that high level of treatment at al times so she can learn what the bar is. He is treating you with so little care and respect, it’s really quite sad. With a 4 month old I get you might be tired and unable to stand up for yourself so if there is someone who would speak to him as well do that, and if not just keep your DD to the front of your mind. If it wouldn’t be good enough for her, it’s not good enough for you.

And the next time he wants to stay somewhere and get his drunk on, tell him he is on his own and not to call. Then, go home and turn your phone off.

Being a parent is more important than being drunk and foolish or being out with friends. It's long past time he learns that valuable lesson.
Luckily, your baby has a Mommy who understands that and puts them first.

What to make sure that the useless selfish git was ACTUALLY run over, instead of only maybe?

Because otherwise I cannot imagine why any woman would lose sleep over an arsehole like this.

Baby is only 4 months old. Unfortunately, I think it's only going to get worse and harder for you. Give him an ultimatum. Tell he you will leave if he ever tries to disrespect you like that again.

Please show him this, as we all think he is an arse and are wondering why you procreate with him.

I would have picked him up but only because I wouldn’t be able to settle and worry at the thought of him walking an hour through a dark lane.

You certainly have a problem being with him if he thinks his behaviour is fine and you are being unreasonable.

Firstly it’s ludicrous that he didn’t come home with you, secondly ridiculous that he can’t logically recognise that if you live rurally his options for getting home need to be pre planned with a taxi booked. But most importantly the fact he thinks you are being unreasonable in this situation speaks volumes that is very worrying for the present and future.

But I suppose he showed his true colours a while ago. I would be worried for my future and reassessing my relationship with someone clearly not ready for family life.

Send him a taxi number and tell him to use it

So he will turn up mid afternoon probably, after a lift from his mate who agreed that you are a selfish unreasonable bitch.

Forget him engaging parent mode, time for you to engage BITCH mode. Go insane on his ass. This wont change as long a you run around after him. Sorry to say this but you have made his life too easy to the point where he now expects it.

Get angry. Point out that you wanted to leave and he didnt, despite the fact that your baby has needs that outweigh his wants. Point out that he said he would get himself home and yet still called you for a lift. Point out that he is father and now and has responsibilities to his child and ask him what he thinks would have happened if you had said "OK lets both stay and get pissed". Then get REALLY angry when he says that it was up to you to take the baby home but would it have killed you to give him a lift. Do not back down for anything.

Then tell him that he is in charge next weekend as you are having a weekend off. If you are EBF then that is all you will do, if you are FF then its all on him.

Your better off he's staying at his friends no annoying drunk around you and no stinking of alcohol. I'd say it's a win win. X

He can think it all he wants, doesn't make it true. I'm pissed off for you, the cheeky fuckery of him is astounding!