Left DP at pub to get home on his own

Well, you can’t leave a 4 month old baby at home alone. Someone has to be there. Why one parent and not the other? And babies don’t just go to sleep. Have you looked after a 4 month old baby as a breastfeeding mother?

The baby was going home to sleep? She didn't need looking after.

Because he has a baby to look after? And a breastfeeding partner who’s still recovering physically, mentally and emotionally from 9 months of pregnancy and childbirth?

Of course he should be able to fit some socialising into his schedule. But that should be discussed and arranged with the co-parent. Not assumed that she’ll take responsibility for getting the baby home, feed her without support (i.e. no one there to bring a glass of water), and put her to bed, all so he can carry on socialising on a whim. It sounds like it hadn’t been discussed.

'He said fine, he’ll walk.'

Several drinks later, 'can you pick me up?'

No darling you said you'd walk. 😁

YANBU.

Yes, but he can find his own way back. So that still doesn't explain why he has to go home too.

Because OP was driving the car!

The only bit I don't get is why does he have to go home too if the baby needs to go home to sleep? I mean let him find his own way back of course but why did you tell him he had to go home too? Did he need a nap as well?

Don't pick him up this morning either OP. He needs to learn some self reliance. And you need the practice of saying NO.
My DH wouldn't have dreamt of going out if I was ten days PP and infected, let alone expecting me to pick him up at 2am, and he's far from perfect!

@Confused2691 It sounds like he’s got into the habit of you chauffeuring him because you don’t drink.

It’s obvs fine for him to socialise, as should you. Becomes more important when you have kids to be able to have fun and see friends. But he needs to take responsibility for how he gets home. It’s not your responsibility, just because you’re not over the limit. If you live somewhere with few cabs, he needs to plan how he’ll get home before he goes out, e.g. not drink so he can drive himself, order a cab in advance, plan a safe walking or off-road cycling route. Or you need to move somewhere there are more transport options.

He should be equally responsible for childcare and household chores. And while you’re breastfeeding he needs to take responsibility for supporting you in that, as you have to eat well and spend many hours sat feeding when they’re little. Looking after a baby is a responsible, often stressful and tiring job. Childcare professionals are paid for it. He shouldn’t see it as you ‘being at home’ while he ‘works’. You’re both still working, you as an f/t carer, even if you’re on mat leave.

Your daughter might be more portable now, but that won't last. He should get used to finding his own way home as you won't be dragging a larger child out of bed to come and get him. He can get used to not drinking, or getting taxis or even shock staying at home.to look after his child.

Well done last night
from what your saying he’s obviously making bad choices after a few beers and after a couple it gets easier to lose perspective and want just one more.
im not saying therefore its acceptable he really needs to reprioritise things.
it was disrespectful to you and out of line regarding your baby.
I’m glad his parents have seen stuff. Challenging him after a few drinks will never go down well
choose a good time to discuss.
Maybe with a friend there as back up too.

I thought exactly the same. Approximately 10 times a day on mn I read of some problem or other being compounded because they “live rurally”.

OP this will continue for one or both of you for the next 20 years as dc get older. I think by picking up from the wedding you made a rod for your own back. I hope he’s home now

Call him a taxi? My late DH would never have expected me to pick him up at 2 a.m. from anything, whether I was ill or well - and wouldn't have gone to a wedding without me, come to think of it. Your DP sounds a dick.

I don't see why you are having to defend the fact that you live in a rural location OP. Just because some pp prefer urban settings it doesn't mean to say you have to!
Like virtually every one else on this thread I'm appalled by your DH's selfishness and lack of comprehension of what being a parent should mean.
That he has shown his drinking and social life is more important to him than your and your child,'s welfare is actually disgusting and I would think less of him as a person now.
You really have to talk to him seriously about his attitude.

What a selfish knob. He needs some tough love and to be treated like a wayward toddler otherwise he’ll soon find himself being an ex!

Well done OP for putting your foot down. If I were you I would just refuse to do any more taxi services for him, none at all. He needs to grow up. He sounds selfish and immature.

Mine behaved like your DH. I even took our children home from the youngest’s christening because he wanted to party, with friends into the night.

If we went out and had a babysitter, also had an awful habit of never wanting to leave ‘just one more’ meaning we were late back for the babysitter and if promising to be the one to get up with our children the next morning, after a late night. He never did!

He is now my ex.

To be honest, it’s worse than wanting a lift. You have a 4 month old baby who you’re breastfeeding.
how come he gets to party like he’s still single?? When do you think you will be able to casually announce you’re staying over at
a friends ??

He needs to get it in his head that from now on you won't be picking him up late from the pub. Your baby will get less portable as they get older so he needs to sort his own shit out.

Is he home yet? After an unexpected night away I'd expect him to do the bulk of the parenting today as he has had a rest.

It’s a pity your phone won’t be working today when he asks you to pick him up this morning OP.

He does seem to prioritise drinking over you and his child.
Could be he has not woken up to the fact he’s a parent and needs to grow up and step up. Or could be he has a drink problem.
Keep an eye on the situation. To me as an outsider, but with the experience of living with an alcoholic, this rings a lot of familiar bells.

How much parenting will he do when he gets home? How much parenting/household stuff does he do generally

It actually sounds like he's a teenager and she's his Mum.

Just stand your ground. He is a grown ass man. So what if you live rural?

I would be stating that you want be his taxi service anymore if i was you.

Don't put up with this misogynistic nonsense that you should pander to his nights out.

If he wants to go out, he sorts out his own transport from now on.

You're not his chauffeur