Left DP at pub to get home on his own

None.

I said no, explaining why to DP and that we should go home. DP refused, saying he wanted another drink. He offered to not eat and just have a drink but I again repeated we needed to get home for DD who wasn’t very happy. He again said he wanted to stay so I said fine but I was going home in the car

Read the OP.

OP told him no and that he needs to go home at least twice.

She then allowed him to stay out, as long as he got himself home.

She should never have said no in the first place.

She should have said, she’s taking DD home and if he wants to stay out then he’ll need to get his own way back.

At least he now knows you're not his personal taxi service. He's got a lot of growing up to do.

@Autumnalsun but the OP isn't upset he stayed out, she's upset that he is hassling her for lifts when drunk and got angry about it.

or he could’ve been amazing, ordered a delivery takeaway, go to shop as they’re going to his house anyways and got him and OP a nice hot meal after baby is settled and sleeping.

but he chose to be a dick . YANBU

Without any discussion or agreement?

Have you read the post? No.

Because your argument has nothing to do with what op has said

She has no problem with him going out, it's him asking her to wake up 4 month baby, get themselves both ready to go into cold, kn cold unheated car..

When he could get taxi home

So.... how is op wrong and Mr is right in this please?

Why shouldn't he get a taxi, please explain your thinking.

That poster has already said he needed to find his own way back and it’s not OP’s problem.

She didn't say he needs to go home at all.

She said he would need to .ake his own arrangements home.

She has a 4 month baby.

Have you had the awfulness of seeing baby, yourself on colder nights. To be forced to get unsettled then into the cold just to pick someone up who could easily get a taxi?

It's not pleasant. Not something a loving h
Father would do.

Ifs nothing to do with him Staying out, it's the pressure he puts on op.

OP was there because she took parental responsibility. The father wasn’t there because he didn’t. Parents have to take responsibility for childcare. And a parent having time away from a baby to socialise needs to be discussed and agreed rather than assumed or taken for granted.

No I disagree.

It does not take both parents to put a baby to sleep.

As long as this isn’t a regular occurrence, then it’s fine for DH to go out with his mates every now and then.
Just like it would be ok for OP.

If either of them want to go out, they should be allowed to but it’s on them to get themselves home.

@NeverAgainNelly the reason why the OP wanted him to go home with him is because she knew that he would be hassling for a lift even though he said he wouldn't.

She doesn't mind if he stays out but she doesn't want to have to bundle the baby into the car to pick him up late at night.

OP he's being an arse. Fine to stay out but his choices at the end of the night are pal's sofa or walk. Neither are the end of the world. Get on with it man.

What kind of selfish arse expects his 4 month old baby to he dragged out of bed all because he wanted another pint. If he's that desperate, he finds his own way home.

Has he done much with your DD by himself because thinking it isn’t a big deal says to me he hasnt

your DD is 4 months old how many times has he wanted to disrupt her bedtime routine to get her outside in a car in a different temperature?

you need to talk to him about this firmly about exactly why he is being unreasonable and that you aren’t a taxi service.

he is a grown man who can get himself home

Not at all. I'm just asking why he has to go home too at that point because the baby needs to sleep. OP said herself it isn't a regular thing.

He can go out for as long as he wants (as long as it’s not affecting family life) but he needs to get himself home.

If it wasn’t the baby’s bedtime, then I would offer to pick him up but no way would I mess up her routine for him.

Misogynist sympathiser, man or troll.. which one are you?

Tell him that if he thinks it's not a big deal for you to wake the baby up and take her out again, obviously he will be the one getting her back to sleep.

Just a troll, or has very misogynistic views and deliberately goading op.

Op never said she had a problem with him getting himself back home.

She has (rightly so) a problem settling baby and herself to bed then dragging them both out for a man who can't be asked to sort his own transport home

That is selfish a d unreasonable of partner, not op.

How was the baby home alone? OP was there. DH isn't the only parent. Do both parents have to put baby to sleep simultaneously?

Man baby doesn't find his own way back..
Manbaby needs ferrying around everywhere by op or sleeps out in a strop, leaving her like a.single mum to a stroppy teenager and baby.

Op you need to get some self love, priotitisr yoyrself, babyand not tolerate this nonsense a minute longer.

I cant get over posts like these

How many women put up with this nonsense is absolutely mjndblowing.

Do the matriarchy a favour and stick up for for yourself.

Every time you do, the patriarchal misogynistic men get weaker and women get stronger. It's a collective energy we all should be bringing.

Especially ially with women who sympathise with this misogynistic behaviour lurking in nooks and crannies of society.

But you didn't pick him up and you said this isn't a regular thing. I'm just trying to work out what use he would have been if all the baby was doing is sleeping anyway

You're determined to privilege this man's wish to get pissed aren't you?