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AIBU?

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Left DP at pub to get home on his own

313 replies

Confused2691 · 02/11/2024 21:34

DP and I spent this afternoon (from 3pm) at our nearby friends. We had our 4m DD with us. DP and friends drinking, me not. We live at the end of a single track lane basically in the woods so have to drive everywhere, including the friends from today 10/15 mins away.

At 6pm we all walked to the local bonfire and fireworks. Got back to our friends village at 8.30pm. DP then told me he wanted to go for dinner and some more drinks at the local pub. Given it had been a long day for DD, past her usual bedtime and hadn’t slept much I said no, explaining why to DP and that we should go home. DP refused, saying he wanted another drink. He offered to not eat and just have a drink but I again repeated we needed to get home for DD who wasn’t very happy. He again said he wanted to stay so I said fine but I was going home in the car and he would have to find his own way home if he stayed. He said fine, he’ll walk. I left with DD.

The walk will take an hour at least and none of which on pavements. Both ways include walking down a main road with no pavements or streetlight. He could try a taxi but unlikely to get one at this time as we’re not in the big town. For background context, I always try to make an effort to pick him up if he’s out with friends drinking and I’m with DD at home. However he has been insensitive in the past such as refusing to make alternate arrangements for transport after a wedding when I was 10 days PP so I had to pick him up at 2am.. I hadn’t driven yet as was nervous to drive with baby and had an infected episiotomy so was still in pain driving. There is nothing other than the additional cost stopping him from booking a taxi, he has before, but he doesn’t. I think I need to put my foot down as he keeps taking advantage of me being a people pleaser. I’m also annoyed he couldn’t understand that our baby DD needed to go home.

That said, he thinks I’m being unreasonable so maybe I am. What do you think?

P.S he has just messaged asking me to pick him up! Currently feeding DD.

OP posts:
2024onwardsandup · 02/11/2024 21:43

Will he be abusive because you don’t pick him up?

StarDolphins · 02/11/2024 21:42

I would say a big, hard NO! He had the chance of a lift & declined. Legs or taxi now pal.

TigerSteak · 02/11/2024 21:41

Do not pick him up. What an arse!

ACynicalDad · 02/11/2024 21:41

If you pick him up you enable him. Don't. My wife was quite brutal to me and expected me to do more than my fair share any day I had a hangover, a few years on I barely drink.

Spagettifunctional · 02/11/2024 21:40

You’re asleep 😉

curtaintwitcher78 · 02/11/2024 21:39

Don't you dare pick him up. He was warned.

Ponderingwindow · 02/11/2024 21:39

Tell him it’s time to start acting like a parent.

you don’t need to expend any energy picking him up. He should have ended the outing when your child was done for the day. Your baby doesn’t need to get dragged back out while you play chauffeur.

Stormyweatheroutthere · 02/11/2024 21:39

Ignore the text.. Tell him later you were asleep.. Absolutely no way would I be taking a baby out to collect an arsehole.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 02/11/2024 21:38

Send him the taxi number?

HermoinePotter · 02/11/2024 21:38

He’d be walking if he was mine. It was his choice to stay out and your child needs to get settled for the night.

2024onwardsandup · 02/11/2024 21:37

Tell him to get a taxi

Imnotarestaurant · 02/11/2024 21:37

Let him walk.

2024onwardsandup · 02/11/2024 21:37

Of course you’re not being unreasonable. And the wedding pick up is AWFUL

he sounds awful