Left DP at pub to get home on his own

It means that I knew someone would wilfully miss the point of @TexaSun's post and be all cool-person "why wld you need to ask permission to go out, practical issues were covered and emotional needs and support aren't a thing".

@DreadPirateRobots What does 'here we go' mean? Such a patronising little comment.

Here we go.

It's not about whether @TexaSun's wife could have coped for that time. Undoubtedly she could. It's about the husband and father of her child recognising and showing that both of their lives, not just hers, have been turned upside down and priorities need to be very different for a while. And that it is not OK for a dad to just fuck off for his regular activities without so much as thinking about the fact that this requires coverage.

I lost my shit at DH in the first two weeks of our firstborn because he'd popped to the shop for milk, decided we needed some other stuff, and gone on to the supermarket and not come back for two and a half hours without messaging. I needed him to understand that my freedom had been completely taken away overnight and I needed him to show that that affected him too. I needed him to help me carry that burden.

@TexaSun Blimey, you weren't allowed out for two hours when there were three other adults there. How very odd.

I was being selfish and was blinded by that I think - I'm on paternity leave, everything's taken care of through the day, surely I can continue to head to football for 2 hours once a week.

Her parents stayed with us for a month after our daughter was born, and I thought there was enough support there for me to leave for 2 hours. In terms of how many hands were available to help I was right, but I was wrong about actual support, as in being there because we're both in this together.

I feel the mum has no choice but to adjust, as dad's you need to adjust too, some just take longer, and that was my wake up call.

Why did it take you wife going barmy at you for you to realise?

Curious (genuinely, not having a go!) as to why it hadnt crossed your mind before that going out to football a week after your wife had given birth might not be a good idea.

Get rid.

I second this. If I dreamt of acting like this my partner would disown me. When our daughter was a week old I said "right I'll be off to 7-a-side football" on my usual day... didn't go down well. I learned quickly things have changed.

This post isn't disimilar to a lot you see on Mumsnet - a lot of Peter Pans out there, the brass neck on some fathers is bewildering.

The bottom line is that your taxi services have ended. He has always had you there to chauffeur and now he needs to either pay for a taxi or come home. I'd also make it clear that unless agreed before the start of the night with arrangements for the morning, sleepovers are not acceptable. This should all be obvious of course.

Exactly!

Basically he needs to get his head around the fact that as a parent you cant always do what you want to do or used to do!

So they like him because they don't know him?

It sounds like he has forgotten he is a father now and alcohol is more important to him than his wife and daughter.

You are sleeping aren't you?

I would have said stay at your friends house if no taxi

He will know u say what u mean and mean what you say in future. Good life lesson.
How hard is it to take a taxi anyway.

I hope you told him to piss off, he had the chance of a lift, selfish git.

Sounds like you are with someone who is actually already an alcoholic or is an incipient alcoholic. And/or potentially has anger problems. Either way, you've got problems. You describe your present home as 'being off the beaten track'. That sounds like you could become extremely isolated and vulnerable. Your primary responsibility, now, is to your DD - and that means that YOU have to be very strong in and for yourself. You're going to need a crash course in boundary-setting and assertiveness (there's plenty online), you may also need a counsellor / mentor.
I can promise you that being nice, emollient or appeasing won't help you in the long run. You might as well start "tough love" now - in order to see whether your DP can step up or not. And, if not, you'll need to be plotting your exit strategy.

He sounds a selfish prick!

Foot hard Down on this
once left my husband to walk as he was completely out of it, my friend found him upside down in a hedge !!
he’s my ex !!!!

If I'm purely honest Op, he doesn't sound like he is thinking or acting as a half decent partner or let alone a Dad to a little baby girl 😞

You are keeping the truth from your parents because they would call out what a selfish loser you have had a child with.

I bet he's glad you are miles away from your parents and their support.

Wasters love when the partners they treat badly have little support.

You need to wake up to the selfish arse you have had a child with.

That baby deserves better, so do you.

This is unbelievable. Very good that his mum sees how awful he was re the wedding, is there any way for her or his parents to have some kind of talk with him? Especially if you let them know that it'll put your relationship in jeopardy. And OP - I'm sure you wouldn't do this but PLEASE don't ever give in to his pleas to put his wants before your child's needs. He is a grown man and can look after himself - your DD has to depend on you. Extremely good that he is a DP and not a DH, make sure you don't get financially shafted during maternity leave & do your best to have some money he can't access. You may not need it - but it sounds like you might.

You may as well be a single parent OP because it doesn't sound like anything has changed in his life since having a child - apart from a taxi driver being at his beck and call.

Show your daughter a better role model than this, before she ends up in the same relationship.

Unbelievable. I am fuming for you OP.
What an insensitive and selfish CF he is. Absolutely do not enable this sort of entitled behaviour from him and stick to your boundaries. He will learn.