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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU with my wedding venue?

111 replies

ellie09 · 02/11/2024 20:10

I recently booked my wedding for July 2026 and let family know the venue and the date.

We ended up booking a lovely venue that I fell in love with, and it just so happens to be in DPs hometown (this was not the reason why we booked - we just like the venue and it was in our budget).

DPs hometown is about 1.5 hours away from my hometown.

My sister is not happy.

She doesn't drive, for context, though she is going to have to learn soon, as she is at uni and once she graduates she will need a car for her job (public transport isn't great here especially for unsocial hours)

She has been sending me messages, asking me how on earth I expect her to get there without a car and that "she's just going to have to find a way up on the train then".

I have told her that amongst everyone, I am sure we can work out a way to get everyone up, and it's a long time away and by then she will likely have passed her driving test, with her graduation etc. She asked me " well are you giving me the money for that then?! "

AIBU to think my sister is being selfish? It's my wedding and I feel like I should book a venue that I like. It's not as if I am expecting people to go abroad etc.

We have people flying from Canada etc to our wedding.. She is 1.5 hours away?!

OP posts:
whatcanthematterbe81 · 03/11/2024 16:39

She's jealous

Itsbeenabadday · 03/11/2024 15:23

Just say you will make sure she has a lift closer to the time. Ask her why this is such a big problem for her. I wonder if she's anxious about driving or something. I think her reaction is unreasonable but I think you should be curious about what's behind it x

rosyvalentine · 03/11/2024 15:12

@reserved101 Love your Zoom wedding solution 🤣

CabbagesAndCeilingWax · 03/11/2024 15:11

Just tell her to start walking now.

rosyvalentine · 03/11/2024 15:09

Ridiculous objection. Can she not stay local to the wedding the night before if the journey is complicated? From what you've said, it sounds like she will have graduated by then, so presumably will be working and able to afford a night in a local hotel or B&B.

Original poster
ellie09 · 03/11/2024 10:39

Thanks all, I'm just going to ignore for now and if it comes up again, politely let her know that it's an invite, and she's more than welcome to politely decline if it is too much hassle

OP posts:
TheMAFSfan · 03/11/2024 07:02

She sounds jealous 🤗

MissMoan · 03/11/2024 01:21

She is being VU!
It's your wedding.
Enjoy it!

EdithBond · 03/11/2024 00:09

Your sister’s behaviour is churlish. She’s got almost two years to decide how she’ll get to the wedding venue. Who knows where she’ll be living or what she’ll be doing by then. If she has overnight accommodation, I’m sure someone can give her a lift there and back the next day if she’s unable to drive herself.

I don’t have a car and go everywhere on public transport, including cab for the last stretch, if necessary in remoter places. Just takes some planning. Have been to many places with three small kids in tow. She’ll manage.

Try not to let her behaviour upset you. It’s not worth it. Put it down to immaturity.

Summerlilly · 02/11/2024 23:04

We recently flew 19 hours with a toddler for a wedding
1.5 hour drive seems bliss 😂
She’s being a drama queen, she’s related to the bride and gets her room paid for. It’s not like she doesn’t have options from the family to get there

bakewellbride · 02/11/2024 23:00

Our BIL displayed similar behaviour and the only way we got him to our wedding was by paying for a taxi there and back. It was an hour drive each way so as you can imagine wasn't cheap but it would've been upsetting for a couple of people if he wasn't there so we just did it to avoid drama. He didn't even get us a card!

AmpleOlive · 02/11/2024 22:56

Your sister is being totally selfish and out of order. Who does she think she is, barking orders like you like that about your own wedding?!

She needs to grow up. She has lots of time to save her own pennies or even learn to drive if she feels up to it. I’m a non driver myself and face similar issues at times, but it’s my own problem and I find a workaround myself.

Sparsely · 02/11/2024 22:51

She's being completely ridiculous and negative, as you know and she well knows too.

But she sounds a bit overwhelmed with whatever is going on in her life (finals looming? graduating? growing up? things changing too fast?) Just say, it's not like her, is she OK? It's not about taking the train, is it?

LivinInYourBigGlassHouseWithAView · 02/11/2024 22:41

She sounds like quite the drama llama. I'd try to ignore her.

MyNeedyKoala · 02/11/2024 22:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WeeOrcadian · 02/11/2024 22:26

Is your sister always this self-centred?

Ignore. She can sort it herself. Or not come to the wedding.

Congratulations!

OrNo · 02/11/2024 22:25

My sister shouted at me for booking my wedding at the start of the summer holidays because she wanted to go away on a cheap holiday and delaying it till after would cost her over £1k+ extra. I get that's shit but my DH was a teacher and obviously we wanted to go on honeymoon after we got married. Absolutely bonkers selfishness on her part. So I'm not surprised by your sister and YANBU.

HalloweenYey · 02/11/2024 22:22

Your sister is loopy!!

I got married about 8 hour drive from home. No-one complained! We supported everyone to get there! All was fine.

Your sister should maybe read this thread! (and chill a bit! Buy her some wine!)

bitsalty · 02/11/2024 22:19

Ffs sorry.

She's being a silly twat and I'd tell her that.

bitsalty · 02/11/2024 22:19

She's being a silly twat and

ReadingSoManyThreads · 02/11/2024 22:18

ellie09 · 02/11/2024 22:01

In answer to some of the comments I've seen

No, my sister isn't married, she has a partner she has been with for 2 years.

Our mum and sister drives. So does my step dad. I was also under the assumption that she was going to learn to drive soon, as she has started a midwifery course and her placements etc will be in hospitals all over the place, starting at times where buses/trains aren't available.

At the moment, my mum is chauffering her around to her placement at 5:30am

Not once has sister congratulated me either during all this, it's all been about her

I'm guessing she's the youngest sibling?

I wouldn't pander to the little princess. Just send her her invitation and block out all of her noise.

By the way, she doesn't have a "partner", she has a boyfriend or girlfriend.

CoraPirbright · 02/11/2024 22:18

Your sister is being ridiculous and a total brat! It’s absolutely obvious that she will end up getting a lift from your mum so what on earth is she whinging about? Tell her to shut up or not bother coming!

ReadingSoManyThreads · 02/11/2024 22:16

ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat · 02/11/2024 22:12

I recently booked my wedding

“We recently booked our wedding”, surely?

Edited

She's the only one on the thread, her fiancé isn't posting with her, so perfectly acceptable to write "I" and "my". Just as I say "my children", when my husband isn't with me.

Lostworlds · 02/11/2024 22:16

Your sister sounds like she’s a bit jealous and wants to turn your happy news to all about her.
Personally I wouldn’t sink to the same level, I l would leave it as it is and if she starts again then repeat that it’s still over a year away so you can worry about transport much closer to the time!

ThatIsNotMyNameSoWhyAreYouCallingMeThat · 02/11/2024 22:12

I recently booked my wedding

“We recently booked our wedding”, surely?