AIBU with my wedding venue?

Eh? Your sister is being very odd!

For my wedding, my sister travelled to the city where I live. Because, you know, I was getting married and I'm her sister! When she gets married I'll travel to the city where she lives because... same. Same for cousins, friends, etc.

Has she lived a very sheltered life up until now/never left your hometown?

Ignore her and do not have her for bridesmaid if you can avoid it.
She isn't happy for you, is a PITA, and will spoil things.
Think carefully about the bridesmaid question.

@QuizNight Not sure what the opposite of a bridezillanis, but you’re one of them. A hostess?

We spent a lot of money on our wedding because a) we could afford it and b) we wanted to acknowledge the effort people were making to attend. Everything that cost a lot was things to make the attendees’ time more enjoyable. My husband’s family had to travel 5 hours and stay overnight so we paid for their hotel room for one night (some then booked the night before with the money they had budgeted), we paid for extra appetisers during the cocktail hour as we knew people would be hungry after travelling before the wedding breakfast and evening buffet for example. We didn’t want people to give up a day or two of their busy lives, travel so far, spend money on an outfit and a gift without us putting on something special for them.

1.5 hour is not far! She is presumably young and healthy, she is being ridiculous. If she can’t get a lift, worst case is train to nearest station and taxi. Does she never go anywhere? I used to live traveling places by train when I was younger!

When friends of mine got married, all their family and friends were spread all around the country, so no matter where they picked, someone would have to travel.

In the end, they got a bit crazy about it, plotted the locations of everyone they really wanted to be there on a map and picked a spot on the map that was central to all of them. No favouritism of one person's home town over another and, in the end, was nowhere near when anyone lived!

There are always people that will have to travel for the wedding, presumably including you two as the bride and groom! I'm not sure why your sister seems to think she's the most important person there! Does your STBDH have a non-driving relative that would have to travel similarly if the tables were turned? Use them as an example.

As PP have said, she's being rather ridiculous. If there are others travelling from where your sister lives, I'm sure they'd be happy to give her a lift (just don't tell them this story, as they might otherwise not be so keen!)

She’s being ridiculous.

I’m guessing this is not the first time she’s made something all about her and it definitely won’t be the last time she causes drama around your wedding.

I’d probably say ‘Don’t come then!’ She sounds very immature.

As a 16/17 year old, I was catching trains all over the country to visit universities (and have a fun day out with your mates). This was in the days prior to parents coming with you.

How is she going to cope with life?

The only response at all to that nonsense worth your time or energy would just be 🤣

She's an adult, I'm sure she can find her way on a train or get a lift with someone. What a lot of drama over a 1.5 hour journey. If she finds it so difficult then she can always stay home. My young friend managed to fly back from the other side of the world for my wedding (which I certainly didn't expect her to do, but she wanted to).

i would just point out, in your reply, people are invited to weddings because the couple would like to attend, and have them help celebrate their special day. No guest and their financial situation nor how they will get to and from the wedding is your concern. Ultimately it is up to the guest to accept or turn down the invite regardless their relationship with the bride and groom. You would love it if she can come but there will be no hard feelings should she not be able to.

She sounds incredibly self entitled, I would send her message like above and then ignore any further communication about it, or just keep replying with the same message 🙈🤣

congratulations btw xx

If you booked it where your side ofnthe family live then it wouldn't suit your husband to he's family. One thing you're going to learn planning a wedding is you'll never please everyone and believe me, this will be the first of many problems.
It's your day so have it where you want it. Surely there's a hotel nearby that your sister can stay in or family can stay in .....they've 2 years to save!

She's got over 20 months to figure it out.

Children manage to get the train so there is no reason why your grown up sister can't. My son gets the train to visit his dad sometimes. He is 15 and it's an hour and ten minutes. It's never ever been an issue.

She could Uber to train station then get the train. If she has very little money then try and lift share with someone and give them petrol money. I think it's a non issue and she is being ridiculous.

She is just being a pita. Tell her there is loads of time to sort a ride with someone and to stop bitching or she wont get an invite

it’s your wedding, and she’s turned into a sister- zilla!

No, the best venues are the ones the Bride & Groom like.

of course most prople want to drink, so they arrange a lift with a driver, book a taxi, book a hotel, same with any event.

@ellie09

congratulations!!

just tell her to grow up. She can book an onsite room or other hotel room. Or taxi/train or you'll help her get a lift.

It' s YOUR wedding, if that's too much hassle for her, she can stop home.

id suggest you don't give her a role at the wedding or she'll be a proper PITA.

You don’t need a late night transport if you’re staying over! I don’t think the OP is suggesting that she go home after the wedding!

Throw the guilt back on her. “Oh my, I thought you loved me enough to do this small thing for me on my wedding day” etc. Selfish mare!

She sounds very immature.

Just reassure her you will sort out transport for her nearer the time (and make sure you do

Why on earth should the OP take responsibility for this? She’s a grown woman, not a chance.

Just reassure her you will sort out transport for her nearer the time (and make sure you do it.)
Of course if shes passed her test by then all well and good but sounds like shes a bit anxious that she wont be able to attend, although surely she can travel with your parents? Rude of her not to offer congratulations but she is still young so perhaps self absorbed and stressed about final exams and feeling pressure to learn to drive for her midwifery.

Here's another, different voice: I struggle to understand why people put so much store and spend so much money on getting married. If it's the rellies' & friends' get-together that's important, then just have a picnic in a field or a catered night in a restaurant or pub. If it's about starring in your own soap-opera, then I have a total failure of understanding - because the payoff doesn't adequately relate to the bill (which normally seems to be HUGE).
The money can be put to so much better use, can't it?
My wedding (after 37yrs together) cost, I seem to remember, £64.

Then we just went to lunch round the corner at Cafe Rouge.

Coming out of the Registry Office, my DH remarked to me: "I'd better drive, you've had a shock".