It was my birthday yesterday, MIL bought me Christmas themed stuff

@Candymay I would love to know the thinking behind people who give a gift of something like the flip flops. It really does baffle me what goes through their heads.
It's one of life's mysteries 🙂

Thank you

Well you need to have it by the 1st if it’s an advent calendar.

I'm with you. I hunt down quality vintage tea towels in charity shops that I expect some elderly lady has had unused in a drawer for many moons and kept "for good" but never used before her house was cleared by her family. They are usually £1 and better quality than modern ones. A lot of them are themed - Yorkshire recipes, Shamrocks, Tetley teabags, Christmas trees. I don't care what is on them. I only want to bring them into use. I think about the elderly ladies and hope they would approve that someone is actually getting good use out of their tea towels. Many times, when grandchildren here, I tie one of these tea towels round them (like a bib) to protect their clothes. My grandchildren actually now ask for a tea towel on if they're getting a meal here now.

Whether you're really into Christmas or not, it's just lazy. She has given no thought to what you like/want, and is just buying you tat which happens to be Christmas themed. So tat, without having to think about what design, colours etc. you would prefer.

I'm sorry she's deliberately minimising your wants and feelings. She clearly thinks her feelings about Christmas matter more and is forcing the Christmas gifts on you on purpose.

People like that are super annoying in real life, and there are a lot of them who comment on here sadly.

I tend to avoid anyone who tries to force me to do, appreciate or be interested in anything when I've explained that I'm not.

But she doesn't have to give any gift at all. It is just an extra present, in the scheme of things. Maybe try not to think about it, or worry about it and whatever she gives just reframe it as a little something extra. You certainly don't have to pay much attention to what you're getting her either, just a token.

Haha I have got to an age were naice quality tea towels would be gratefully received. I’d rather have something useful than tat. Just not xmas tea towels 😅

Spices is actually a nice gift idea.

Each to their own. I like being given baubles for the tree. I remember who gave me each one, and each tells a story. Not acknowledging the gift seems weird! Perhaps there's a back story here that's making the present too offensive even to say thanks for it?

Tea towels are the worst gift. No one enjoys a tea towel. They are not a treat. And I bet no man ever gets gifted one!

Not sure where OP is based but I am UK and we don't do "Thanksgiving". I think that's an American thing

@Candymay isn't obtuse. It's very easy to reply to wrong post/misinterpret something etc. @Candymay seems a nice person who has the right priorities, someone I'd like to have as a friend.

This.

or maybe buy her a turkey in October for Thanksgiving.

Bday in march-give her an Easter basket as a gift.

Sounds like something my mil would do. I've only been married 3 months so it's all quite new to me, but i feel seen when you describe her! Lol Drama queen, can't be criticised, passive aggressive and somewhat narcissistic... If she's doing it to get at you then I think not reacting is the best medicine. Sell it all on vinted and don't put much effort into her gifts.

My MIL is lovely and has given me some fantastic gifts over the years, but one Christmas she gave me a box of baubles, baby pink & baby blue glass baubles that we think might have had ‘baby’s first Christmas’ ribbons on but they had been removed. Extremely odd. My DH was mortified, but we chose to not even acknowledge it and thank god she didn’t ask if I liked my present!

A. Buying household items for someone’s birthday is pretty shitty. Unless you’d be utterly thrilled with a Henry hoover for yours.

B. The OP doesn’t like Xmas. Buying her Xmas tat for her birthday is highly unlikely to change that.

C. It’s just fucking rude. If someone says they don’t like smoking, you don’t buy them 40 Benson and Hedges.

D. It’s an absolute waste of money.

Hahaha, well the thread you started after a couple of wines has got lots of people thinking. After your last post, it's clear the "no presents" thing isn't going to work. You don't want to antagonise your MIL (and I agree with your thoughts there). I think requesting the Boots calendar, saying "I really loved that present" would be a good idea. The rest of the tat I'd take out your loft and donate. There's bound to be a charity around that provides Xmas lunches for disadvantaged people who could use that Xmas themed stuff you don't want.

I really dislike having too much stuff too OP, it all just mounts up . I think I wouldn’t bother with the loft. I’d just take it to the charity shop so someone else benefits from it.

@HagsRule don't hint for one next year - TELL HER you want one !
I don't care if some on this thread think that's rude or grabby - just do it 🙂

It's the thought that counts. I think it's a good idea because you can use the Christmas stuff through November and December, otherwise Christmas themed stuff bought just for a week or two is a waste, IMO. I love Christmas, and maybe she's an excited Christmas fanatic and she wants you to be a part of that? Appreciate that she's trying to connect with you and maybe teasing you a bit. Buy her an Easter egg for Christmas, but open it with her and have a giggle. Don't die on this jolly hill.

Actually I think that your DH needs to tell her directly to knock if off. My mother had a birthday in mid December and our rule was no Christmas anything until after her birthday. Maybe you need to make it a rule in your family?