Son started school 6 weeks ago and has really struggled with his emotions...at first anxiety about the separation from home and then as that passed he's been lashing out at teachers and kids.
Was a surprise to me as he's normally not like that (I mean he has his moments of high emotions but they dissipate quickly with a listening ear to help him and prior to school starting he's never hit us).
Teacher has kept me at the gate at least twice a week with reports of his behaviour and we've had a couple of long meetings about what we can do at home to make his life easier at school. So we've been working on emotions and playdates over half term.
On playdates I observed how often he was being teased by certain kids re not being able to do something they could do (he has a disability affecting his fine motor skills). Most of the time we parents were in earshot and nipped it in the bud, the one time we were a bit slower to intervene it escalated very quickly to them shouting to him "baby" and "lazy" over and over, he kept saying to stop as it wasn't kind, and eventually hit. We then got there and spoke to all the kids, about not hitting but also not calling each other names.
Thing is, give these kids were doing it every time we met over half term, I'm 99.9% sure they say stuff to him at school too.
AIBU to be concerned that this hasn't been mentioned (probably gone unnoticed?) by any of his teachers. Like they're only seeing, or sharing, one side of the story?
For context it's a class of 9 kids, there is usually one adult but quite often two, and the room is quite small, so I'd be surprised if I got the "we can't listen to conversations between them all the time" as an answer.
Like, okay he shouldn't hit, and we've been working on that, but given he's never hit before school started, to me it shows he's getting really disregulated over something and there isn't someone around to help him through...am I expecting too much?