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Original poster

DH invited my family over but our house is a tip

36 replies

jhnroirj · 02/11/2024 14:56

Am currently recovering from abdominal surgery this week and can't do much. DH has had to work and look after DC. However, he decided to invite my family over tomorrow. Our house is a tip, and I said that this is fine so long as he cleans before they come but if not, then he should uninvited them. He is now pissed off and says that I should do get in touch with them and tell them they aren't welcome. But I didn't invite them in the first place.

Yes, there is obviously a back story. My dad is quite judgy and will make comments. Dh doesn't think having a clean house when guests come is important but he also comes from a family of hoarders who never had anyone over. Am tired, sore and pissed off.

OP posts:
vegaspot · 02/11/2024 15:36

Just call them and cancel.

Renlou · 02/11/2024 15:34

I get you, but a simple call to your parents would fix this.

Original poster
jhnroirj · 02/11/2024 15:13

Oh my father would clean but I don't see why he should have to. He does all the cleaning at my parents house and takes pride in it. However, am pissed off at Dh for just disregarding the fact that I don't want my parents to come to a tip.

OP posts:
BruFord · 02/11/2024 15:13

@jhnroirj If your Dad says anything, look him in the eye and ask him whether you should jeopardize your health by going against your doctor’s orders to rest?

Stormyweatheroutthere · 02/11/2024 15:10

Hand df a cloth when he arrives... Your dh maybe has a point - people should be coming because they care not to criticise..

BruFord · 02/11/2024 15:09

I’d feel the same way, OP. I’m also recovering from an operation and our house is definitely less clean and tidy than normal, because I literally can’t move around. If DH invited ppl over, I’d expect him to do a blitz first!

Perhaps a compromise is that your DH does some essential cleaning and you let your family know that due to your surgery, you haven’t been able to do any chores so they should expect a messy house-so no comments, please, your health is far more important!

If they’re nice, perhaps they might offer to help out?

Original poster
jhnroirj · 02/11/2024 15:08

My parents are pretty judgy in general and my father is a neat freak and always has been due to his job. He doesn't get untidy houses but after all of us being cooped up here for the half term....it's crap. Am also tired of Dh making me feel like tidying up before guests come 8s utterly freaky.

OP posts:
Ontobetterthings · 02/11/2024 15:04

Is it a tip or just not up to your dad's high standards?

HermoinePotter · 02/11/2024 15:00

You didn’t invite them so he should contact them to let them know you’re not up to visitors. Why can’t he just clean the house?

JollyPinkFox · 02/11/2024 15:00

YANBU but don’t think your husband is either really…more concerned your dad would he judgey about your house especially when you’ve had surgery?! I’d be wanting to go round and see if I could do anything to help like cleaning or cooking etc if one of my close relatives had surgery, not judging them.

MauveCritic · 02/11/2024 14:58

Phone them up and say you aren't feeling up for a visit. You are still recovering from surgery.