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AIBU?

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Is it wrong to expect a child free catch up?!

55 replies

Kmward36 · 02/11/2024 14:47

I’ve been best friends with this person for 15 years. Long before we had children (and when we lived in separate cities) we always caught up once month, went on about 10 holidays/ city breaks a year and spoke daily.

we both now have young children ( I have DD 4 and DD 2, she has DS4). I work full time and she works part time. We both have husbands. I live in the same village as my parents (husbands parents live 5 hours away). She lives in the same home as parents in law, her parents live in the next village. All happy to babysit.

we meet every half term etc with the kids (soft play etc), sometimes on a weekend. Always with the kids, which is lovely but I’ve told her it would be nice to meet up at least twice a year without them. She has said she’d love to but says it’s impossible with kids. I just think this is not true. I meet up with friends ( as does my husband) in couples or separately and we either have the kids for the night whilst the other goes out or grandparents if we go out together.

she claims she can’t fit it in. She finishes work at 3pm, Monday to Wednesday. I work 7-7 Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

ive offered Fridays as we’re both off and I’d arrange childcare for my youngest, coffee or dinner after work, a coffee and a walk in the evening, drinks at the weekend, activities such as wreath making etc. a proper variety. 4 years later and she hasn’t agreed to one. Not even for birthdays. She’s adamant she wants to meet up but just can’t think of a suitable way!

Is this ridiculous or is this reasonable for others? I’m just fed up of it.

OP posts:
TarnishedTrophy · 02/11/2024 15:06

I think you need to accept that, for whatever reason, she doesn’t want to, or isn’t able to, meet you without the children.

JollyPinkFox · 02/11/2024 14:53

If she has easy access to family babysitters this must be on purpose. Seems like she’s happy to use you for play dates only or she’s a helicopter parent. You’ve been friends long enough that I’d bring it up next time you see her and try to get to the bottom of it properly

Cheeesus · 02/11/2024 14:51

Is her husband useless I wonder? Although, rereading, they have a single four year old. Can he not manage that child for an evening?

Kmward36 · 02/11/2024 14:49

SchoolDilemma17 · 02/11/2024 14:48

You went on 10 holidays a year together?! Wow (misses point completely)

Haha yes. I lived in London at the time and we used to travel on the Eurostar often and we’d get cheap random flights from Heathrow over a weekend. It was great!

OP posts:
SchoolDilemma17 · 02/11/2024 14:48

You went on 10 holidays a year together?! Wow (misses point completely)