Old friend randomly blocked me

@GroovyChick87 she can disengage by saying so can’t she? That was the entire point of my post.

They can’t have been that casual given she remembers the home number and her mum knew her. Ffs what a sad world we now live in

The friend doesn't owe anything to be fair and can disengage if she likes. It's been 20 years, for a casual friendship, they are as good as strangers. I replied earlier up the thread but on reflection I think phoning the friend's mum is weird. It looks like she's been searching rather than meeting by chance and suggesting to meet.

I think you sound lovely. I hate that feeling of making an effort or putting yourself out there a bit and having people recoil in horror as if you’ve done something unspeakably awful! We live in such isolated bubbles these days and it’s sad. I mean- don’t get me wrong, it’s fine if she didn’t want to meet, but the responses you’ve had on here are so weird! I think your life will be richer for having the kind of attitude you do, don’t let it stop you in the future! Also the idea that phoning a childhood friend’s Mum being super creepy - really?! Our communication is so dumbed down and sterile now! I’m sure her mum didn’t find it intrusive- you weren’t heavy breathing down the phone! If her mum thought it weird she’d presumably have taken your number to pass on, rather than giving you her daughters.

The friend is the weirdo. Blocking is such a dick move. It’s unhinged. I think it was lovely you got back in touch and it’s a shame so many people have forgotten what manners and respect look like. If she did not want to connect further all she had to do was give a polite decline and wish op well.

FWIW OP I still remember my friends’ home numbers from childhood!

She didn't give you her number though! You've cold called her

Yes! It’s exactly this. You didn’t meet up with her at a mutual friends party when she was in the mood for socialising, you have cold called her (or cold texted her) and for her it might be terrible timing or she might be really stressed about something private. Her mum isn’t necessarily going to be privy to that. There have been some stressful times in my life when the unexpected reappearance of a drinking buddy from the 90s would have made me think oh just piss off! Not because they were horrible people but simply because I was stressed out to the max and not in the mood for reminiscing about all the times we spent drunk at clubs.
I honestly think you’d have had far more success giving your number to her mum and letting her decide when it was convenient to ring/text.

I'm not sure if I'd find it odd or if I wouldn't mind if someone from my past got in touch. I suppose it depends on who it is. However, I find phoning her mum strange. But I suppose it depends on how close you were all those years ago. It could be your old friend found it suffocating that you involved her mum and didn't just track her down on social media to send her a message.

I just find people so rude. I thought it would be just a nice hi.

She didn't give you her number though! You've cold called her. We all have the right to nip unwanted contact in the bud; there's nothing rude about it.
Blocking you removes any room for doubt (she's not obliged to let you down gently!).

She might not have actually blocked you - there could be another explanation.

She might not have wanted to be reminded of what she got up to in the 90s or has a nosey spouse who she doesn’t want to know what she got up to in the 90s.

I don’t think you did anything wrong !

Couldn't feel I could skip this without replying as I have done similar to old friends...very much due to the cliche "it's not you, it's me". So don't think to badly of yourself. I've blocked certain old friends after a very tragic life situation that has brought on chronic mental illness in me. Not to make this about me at all but if things aren't going particularly well in your friends life she may not feel able to face the thought of discussing it with you. Just a thought!

It’s not weird at all OP. I found an old school friends sister on FB and sent her a message asking if A) Are you Emma’s sister and B) Can you pass my details on or can you give me her number. If she was like some of the people on here she’d have blocked me and not helped me contact my friend. We weren’t best friends and not really similar but we clicked despite our differences.

She moved about 300 miles away after school and I was about 30 when I got in touch with her sister (who didn’t know me from Adam!)

I’m pleased to say we’re still in touch 10+ years on and she was happy I reached out. It didn’t even cross my mind anyone would think it was weird…

I would find someone calling my mum a bit strange.

I reckon she’s got a full on life and doesn’t need another responsibility or thing to consider.

Most people I know love reminiscing over past times! I’m sorry they did this.

I would if it was spam etc
But to an old friend I’d still be polite even if I didn’t want to chat much.

This is what I genuinely don't understand. You would honestly block them instead of just saying 'sorry I can't, but thanks for asking.' ?

I didn’t say it was weird to remember a landline, I have commented since then saying how I remember several numbers from years ago. However, I have been called a weirdo more than once for having a good memory for such things, so clearly some people think it’s odd because they can’t understand why someone would remember it.

Besides, it’s not so much remembering the number, but rather phoning it that some may find odd or intrusive. As I said, I would probably find it endearing to hear from an old friend and pleased that they had remembered me fondly (depending who it is, of course!), but everybody is different.

I still remember the number of the first house I lived in with a phone - when I was in my 20's - 40yrs ago. (Really handy for secure numbers for passwords!) I absolutely remember the number of the friends I used to ring on a regular basis.

Me too! All my numerical passwords are old landline numbers.

@Pureshores499 Completely agree, without too many details basically spend most of 2024 building a friendship , yes i let it slip to our friend group that i had feelings but low level, (for context it was the group who do you fancy etc) then last couple of months of 2024 we didnt spend as much time together but still texted (i made sure to ask in advance to WhatsApp and or Facebook ) most if not all of the communications were professional and if i went in front of HR then id be happy to show every single text,

i usually do a have a good weekend text to a few people to keep communications open and gives chance to catch-up etc depending on the person, then i made a comment about a Facebook post to this person and said have a good weekend then next weekend i did the same have a good weekend text and then blocked.

now i understand at times we had different perspectives on how tasks would be achieved with less people doing the tasks and i know sometimes i went to the people that needed the extra people rather than the official bosses.

but overall there is nothing as far as i can see or understand that annoyed them that then made them block me, especially when i had asked for permission for the texts etc

so 2 possibilities remain either they developed feelings for me and it was easier to block me than admit the feelings

or something i did or something they learned from someone else has annoyed them about me and that caused the block

other than that im puzzled as i had thought they would of talked to me first about any issues and its not like it was text after text etc

not at all weird to remember a landline - it's all we had and we knew tons of numbers. I still remember the number of the first house I lived in with a phone - when I was in my 20's - 40yrs ago. (Really handy for secure numbers for passwords!) I absolutely remember the number of the friends I used to ring on a regular basis.

Sure, but there are also posts suggesting the friend is a bitch or that it's her loss, or that she will end up lonely and must be one of those people who never answer the door etc

@randomflumpsy i was commenting on the many posts here saying that the OP was odd for getting in touch.

Nobody has to be friends with anyone if they don’t feel like it but surely we can tolerate other people reaching out?

I think this is a bit unfair- the old friend didnt tell the OP to fck off, she was perfectly polite but clearly didn't want any more interaction and that is her right, especially considering she didnt actually give out her number. When you get in touch with people you havent spoken to in years thats a risk you take. If you cant handle that outcome then best not to risk it really.

It can't possibly be personal as she doesn't know you. So don't worry. It will be something to do with her, maybe her life is difficult at the moment and she doesn't want to compare, maybe you and her were a bit wild in the old days and she has married a minister and doesn't want her past to catch up with her, maybe she's a bitch now, who knows. Put it behind you and know it can't possibly be about you and move on xx

I wouldn’t have said you’ve done anything bad, and I would love it if someone remembered me fondly enough to get back in touch after a few years. I’ve often thought of doing the same, but some of the reactions have really put me off to be honest! Is it because we are relics of a pre social media era? Everything you have put sounds totally normal to me, and it would never have occurred to me that it could be seen as creepy or invasive. The worst I would have feared is that they weren’t interested. It’s quite sad that something that should be a positive is experienced as a negative.

I’m not in contact with any ‘old friends’ because I moved away from my home town and left it behind. Not for particularly bad reasons, I just outgrew it and became a different person. People from my teens and 20s have tried contacting me again but I’ve no interest, we don’t have anything in common anymore.

I can see from your updates that she hasn’t moved physically far away but maybe she has as a person and doesn’t want a reminder of the past or an old group of friends? I would have been really cross with my mother for giving my number out, too!