Old friend randomly blocked me

Or maybe not. Maybe she's just different; not the same as you.

This is what I meant in my earlier reference to an egotistical air - just because someone is different to you (ie perhaps values their privacy, content not to live in the past etc etc) it doesn't mean they have issues. It's also possible that they weren't as keen on you as you were on them. Maybe they actually didn't even like you that much. We're all different, there are people for whom we're right up their street and people for whom we're not.

Agree with all of the above. Some strange responses on this thread, and some very unfriendly people out there, apparently.

I’d absolutely love for any of my old friends to reconnect!
it sounds like a them problem, and honesty I think it’s never bad to try to reconnect, it’s them on them whether they want that or not, but I’d hate for someone not to ‘just encase’ I didn’t like it.

It’s not creepy at all! I lost touch with loads of college friends, only managed to get back in touch thanks to the invention of Facebook…. But there are still loads that I don’t have contact with due to surnames changing.. I’d love them to reach out!!

it’s odd that she responded then blocked you… maybe she’s in an abusive relationship and has blocked you because her partner was jealous of the connection to her past? God knows.. this is a her issue though and I’d try to forget it… if you bump into her just politely smile, say hi and keep walking.

Your reaction is entirely understandable, I'd be the same. Hopefully your experience will help @Pureshores499 to understand a different perspective...

This thread is interesting, I've read all the replies (it's rare for me to read all the replies on a thread) and I've been amazed by some of the (really quite egotistical!) replies. I think it's probably fine to get in touch with someone you've been friends with on and off over the years, and you've unintentionally drifted. Or someone you've at least bumped into a few times (and the vibe is such that you get a sense they'd like to catch up). But not someone for whom you haven't saw hide nor hair of in decades! In the latter case, a FB message saying hope you're well is VERY different to tracking someone down PI style and swooping on them. And feeling wronged/resentful that they didn't welcome you with open arms??? Yes, very weird I'm afraid!

@Parrotsandpussies

She just wanted to compare your lives

This did happen to me a couple of years ago - a girl I was at university with in the late 90's phoned my family home and tried to get my number from my dad. Luckily he didn't give it to her, and she then wrote a letter to that address. I cringed when I read it as she was clearly still in the same kind of partying mind frame as when we were late teens/early 20s and wrote as if we would just pick up where we left off two decades ago.

I admit I was quite creeped out as she was writing to a version of me that no longer existed. I then did look her up on social media and blocked her so she couldn't ever get in touch that way (even though she didn't know my married name) as I just found the whole thing quite odd and unsettling; as if someone was trying to drag me back into the past for no apparent reason!

I don't think contacting an old friend was weird at all. I love hearing from people. I think it is fine to suggest meeting, as long as you can cope with the fact that you will sometimes be rejected.

Here's what happened to me. I had a good friend at uin. She came to stay at my parents', came to my wedding, stayed in touch when we left uni, she relocated, etc.
About 7 years after we left uni, I was working full time, settled with my 2 children, busy but happy to meet up every now and then. She announced that she no longer wanted to see me and wanted to put all her energy into her nephews. I was sad, but hey - each to their own.

About 25 years later, she contacted me on FaceBook messenger. A lovely, long, newsy post about her job and family. I didn't reply straight away. But eventually I did. I replied with news about my family, my job, where I lived. That was about 4 years ago. There was never a reply. So I guess she dropped me twice! 😂😂

My comment on her post was deleted for some unknown reason as I said nothing offensive, just that she seemed easily irritated and seemed to have a lot of people she disliked. Both of her posts that I read come across quite abrasive. Did make me wonder if she reported it because she interpreted my remark as criticism rather than purely observational. I suppose you never know what goes on in other people’s lives to make them that angry and intense.

Mine was a positive meetup last year. Both 51. Her dad passed this year so I messaged. But years have passed.... I did get vibe was just a one off catchup though with her and thats fine

This is… intense.

Do you think maybe the Mum complained to your friend about you calling and that's put her off?

I can't imagine my Mum being happy if any of my old mates gave her a bell 😂

It’s really not a lot of effort. You literally just don’t use your real name on Facebook. I don’t, I’m very private because of work and someone from my past.

I think you’re overthinking this.

I have a friend who blocks and ghosts people regularly. It's her coping strategy.

Honestly, it doesn’t sound like she’s coping at all. I couldn’t be friends with someone like that. How would you ever feel secure in the friendship? If she does it regularly, you could well be next.

What a strange leap that just because someone has no interest in revisiting the past that they’re not happy with their life.

Many people perfectly happy and content with the present and aren’t nostalgic about reconnecting with past acquaintances.

I probably wouldn't want to rekindle friendships from a very long time ago.

I'm very much a leave the past in the past kind of person. Even if I did really like you then and we were good friends, unless we'd actually kept in touch- I wouldn't be up for it.

I wouldn't block you straight away. I would be polite back but then ghost you if you kept trying.

It would be nothing personal - it would just be that I don't like reliving the past.

This isnt about you

It's her. She's not happy with her life. Maybe embarrassed about how things have turned out and doesn't want to see anyone from
Her past

Respect her privacy and move on

OP I can remember home phone numbers from the 1970s! So you are not unusual in being able to remember

I am going to 'a lot of effort?' I simply said that I don't use my real name on Facebook. That's not going to 'a lot of effort.' Bit of an OTT post from you. 🙄

!

Wow. You are going to a lot of effort. You must have known lots of horrible people.

An old friend did this to me. I was a bit hurt at first in case it hinted at some unresolved issue from our long friendship.

Then I decided - her loss not mine.

She was always terribly insecure and needy, and slightly in awe - not my fault - I loved her to bits and admired her very much. But in retrospect she hadn't grown into herself yet. I only realise it now I'm now fat, lonely and old. 🤣

She's gone on to do incredibly well herself in life. Maybe she doesn't want to be reminded of a time where she felt like an ugly duckling rather than a swan.

Or maybe I'm actually an a*hole who she was secretly glad to see the back of.

It's sad because I am still in contact with many old friends and I feel a gap where she fits. But these things happen - in the time we've been apart I'm hoping she's built a big network. I'm happy for her. 😊

A happy story,
id been friends with a girl from the time I was 19 till I was 27. Even went abroad with her and her OH for a 2 week holiday.
Then , we just drifted apart, both had kids etc, remember no Social media in 1977 !
so that was nearly 5O years ago.
Im 74 now - so is she. For whatever reason , she saw my FB profile and contacted me about 3 months ago.
We’ve met up twice since and it’s been great ! I’m thrilled she contacted me. We were both nervous the first meeting, but we chatted for 3 hours .
Really happy to be back in touch with her again !

Op says she has been blocked, for the love of God, dont message her yet again. This isn't baby reindeer