Old friend randomly blocked me

I think when we are in the mood for reminiscing and catching up, it seems to never coincide with when the other party is in the mood for the same.

I’ve had people over the years reach out to me for catch ups etc and at that time I seemed to be able to think of nothing worse!! Yet last year I reached out to an old friend from school to see how she was, it was plainly obvious she could not have been less interested in speaking to me!! It stung so much at the time, but upon reflection I’m sure I’ve left a few people feeling that way too,

Things don’t always work out OP, but I wouldn’t spend time worrying about something like this.

friends, not super close though

Don’t waste anymore time or effort or feelings of hurt over someone from your past that you weren’t close with. Life’s too short.

Honestly OP, don't take it to heart.
I would think that whatever place she is in, she may not have the time or space to catch up.
I doubt it is deeper than that.
You sound lovely.

I was going through an airport and met an old friend like that. We nearly missed our flights because we were stood having such a laugh. We had a lot of shared great memories from the 90's too.
We didn't arrange to meet up as life is just too busy but we hugged and wished each other so well.
It was really lovely.

Why didn’t you just look her up on social media? That’s basically what it’s for.

If a not particularly close friend to whom I hadn’t spoken in circa 20 years rang my parents, I’d be a bit weirded out. As would they.

Also, if I haven’t seen or spoken to someone in that long, it’s unlikely I’d want to have a coffee with them.

Nothing terrible has happened, so perhaps just chalk it up to experience and move on. I wouldn’t advise doing this again/to anyone else, though.

Just as well idgaf about what you think then isn’t it

You are not creepy OP. People on here are being weird. I've contacted loads of people from my past and vice versa. It's always been fine. Some I'm back to being good friends with and we meet up. Others, we never spoke again.
You were fine to reach out. You took a chance, nothing wrong with that. For whatever reason she's not keen but I wouldn't take it personally.

You're not, it's just that on mumsnet you have to receive an engraved invitation from someone then RSVP before you're allowed to contact them or god forbid, visit them. And don't talk about anything but the weather to avoid triggering their mental health. 🙄

OP why are you looking back?

Are you lonely right now?

Generally people move on. You lost touch for a reason.

what’s that saying a friend is for a reason, a season, a something I can’t remember.

You had your season with her long ago. Don’t chase the past or ghosts.

Find new people who are going to become new good friends. It works so much better and no baggage from the past.

The past should stay in the past. Social media is very very toxic with regards to this. I hate it for that.

I met up with an old school friend (we hadn’t messaged each other, we found out we had a mutual friend). It was ok, but we had absolutely nothing in common & as nice as it was, neither of us have been in touch since. It got kind of awkward once we’d done the whole ‘do you remember so and so’ and ‘what are you up to now’ .

Some people would love to get a message like you sent, others
not so much. You tried, and she replied, but maybe she just isn’t interested in sharing what’s happened in the last 30 yrs since you knew each other, so isn’t fussed about meeting up.
Everyone is different I guess.

Well, you could have given her mother your number and asked her to pass it along for one thing.

And she was perfectly polite, if less enthusiastic than you. She responded civilly once, but isn’t interested in more.

If this brush off, from someone you can’t have seen in 20 years and whose life now you know nothing about, is making you feel ‘like you’ve been punched in the stomach’ and utterly crap’, I’d say you’re way over-invested.

Would you have felt better if she’d replied again and said ‘I’m glad you’re well, but have no interesting in meeting up’?

It doesn't necessarily mean you're blocked, just that it couldn't deliver for some reason. All mine go to 1 grey tick when I'm down seeing to the horses as I don't log into the WiFi and the 5g/4g is terrible. There's one area that gets a signal but it's shit and slow. As soon as I get back to civilisation, they all go through.

I don't get the blocking thing. I feel like as a society we are losing our ability to handle perfectly normal situations with social skills. If you issued a direct invitation she could have responded by saying 'I'm so sorry I don't think I could fit that in to my current life but I do have fond memories of all our fun times in the 90s!' There's no reason to think you wouldn't have got the message and backed off. Blocking just seems like an aggressive overreaction only necessary when someone is aggressively bothering you. There's nothing weird about making a friendly attempt to reconnect with someone.

How do you know you are blocked and it’s not just that she hasn’t read it?

I often see a message, think oh I’ll read that later when I’m not at work or have time to respond and then totally forget about it

In fact embarrassingly this has reminded me of one from a lovely old work friend who messaged me about two months ago 🙈 and an old friend from the kids nursery days who messaged suggesting we catch up about two weeks ago. Feel terrible but that’s just how I am- bit useless on the messaging front.

A couple of people have tried this with my Mum, an old former friend/ frenemy and an ex. In both cases my Mum was sensible enough to not give my number, but instead take there's to give to me. I then ignored both.

Maybe I'm horrible but I really really didn't want to contact either person again. In the case of the friend I purposefully didn't give her my contact details when I moved abroad. She was one of those people who is actually not a friend and was very passive aggressive, put me down, etc. Good riddance!

And the ex, just no.

Really odd thing to do tbh

It's a shame, Op, but it could be for 1000 reasons.

Dont take it personally.

The old and fat thing might be more true than any of us realise. Along with peri menopause, crappy husband home life, unruly disappointing children, stressful career or no job at all or just plain tired of everything - the list goes on, as to why some people are not keen on seeing old friends from the glory days.

Her current friends (if she has any) will know all of the above and so she may be comfortable with them.
It's not personal and it's very very common .

How long has it been since you sent the WhatsApp? Sometimes it takes me days to reply 🤣

I got up to all sorts of silliness when I was younger, as did all my friends (tbh they were worse than me and I was no angel) and I know a few of them have got nervous when we talk about our partying days when in front of their families/partners. So maybe she's thinking that getting in touch will open a can of worms regarding memories that she still cringes about or actions that would make her look bad in front of her family and friends?

I can think of a few people from my old life that I wouldn’t want to be in my new life just because they know things about me I really don’t want my current people to ever find out. And I’d rather forget.

If they contacted me I’d probably be momentarily delighted but I would have to keep a wide berth.

If someone I used to know rang my Mum and got my number and then contacted me I would not be best pleased.

It might be that she's not in a great situation herself/going through some stuff/doesn't want to go back to the past...

I have friends I think of fondly enough, but they were connected to crappy jobs i'd had or old boyfriends, and i just wouldn't want to resurrect things - it's not necessarily personal to them.

I find that in middle age I'm much fussier about who I give my time to - maybe she feels the same.

It's her loss anyway! Hopefully it makes space to find a new brilliant friend :)

You can read a WhatsApp message without it showing as read I understand. If you just scroll down highlight from top of mobile without going into the actual WhatsApp. Lots of people do that. It doesn't mean a block.

Things have just moved on alot and changed and it's likely that more than anything else. I'd just delete the contact and try move forward

Depends entirely on the individual and what the person contacted has going on in their own lives, surely. In the OP’s case, the friend was happy enough to reply pleasantly to her initial text, but not interested in further communication or meeting.

There are some people I’d love to hear from from my undergraduate years (pre-internet, email, mobiles, so much harder to keep in touch, and so many of us emigrated, they’re impossible to track all these years on), but others I’d be appalled by any contact from.