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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed my neighbour came into my flat uninvited and asked about my rent?

56 replies

TheCheeryKoala · 02/11/2024 11:47

I just moved into a new flat on Friday. The door was open because the movers were going in and out, and I was packing up one last box before we left. Out of nowhere, a neighbour I’d never spoken to before just walked into my flat, started looking around, and then asked how much I paid for it!

I was polite but firm and told her to leave and maybe consider having some manners.

AIBU to think this was way out of line? I get being curious, but barging into someone’s home and asking about rent feels like a massive boundary to cross. Has anyone else dealt with neighbours like this, or am I overreacting?

OP posts:
GretaGip · 02/11/2024 12:52

You are very hard to understand.

Could you clarify whether this is the flat you are leaving or moving into? It'd help us see the context.

Hillrunning · 02/11/2024 12:52

No this wouldn't bother me at all. You were leaving, the place was being emptied. Totally fine to wonder what rent you used to pay.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 02/11/2024 12:50

Maybe she wanted to see if she could afford it? Are there new tenants do you know?

Assuming I'm reading right and this was at the flat you are vacating and happened as you were packing up the last of your things to move to your new place.

I don't think what she asked was awful but yes, it's not the done thing I don't think.

Maybe if she'd knocked, waited to be invited in and said something like I hope this isn't too personal but I was thinking about renting this flat / a flat like this and wondered how much the rent was.
Or it's the same sort of flat and she said something about feeling like she might be overpaying
Stuff like that would have been a more socially acceptable way for her to behave.
Just marching in and saying "how much was your rent here?" is going to feel rude to a lot of people I would imagine.

That said, your reply was equally rude. Fight fire with fire I guess. I'd have been a bit more diplomatic but you're never going to see her again I assume.

Waffle78 · 02/11/2024 12:49

Not unreasonable at all one of my old neighbours asked me who I was renting through as we were leaving. We had a list of issues with that house. But we were in the front street I warned her off they had damp so was looking for somewhere else. I didn't want her going from one bad situation to answer.

coffeesaveslives · 02/11/2024 12:46

Your post really isn't clear - was this at your old flat or your new one?

HecatesBees · 02/11/2024 12:45

TheCheeryKoala · 02/11/2024 12:24

I’m not sure where you got the idea that I was “literally walking out the door.” My post specifically said I was in the flat packing up a box. She walked in unannounced while I was still there.

Show quote history

So we're you packing to leave? Or... Packing to? stay??

zingally · 02/11/2024 12:44

StillAtTheRestaurant · 02/11/2024 11:56

I'm assuming this was at the old flat? Maybe she wanted to know if she was over or underpaying her own rent? Or how much she'd get if she rented her place out? I'd probably just have told her. When I moved out of my last flat, the landlord put the rent up by £400 a month when he re-advertised. I was so scandalised I told all the neighbours!

I've just moved out of a flat I've been in for 14 years... When I first moved in it was £525 a month. When I moved out it was £840.
Out of interest, I looked at the listing about a fortnight after moving out and it was on at £1000 a month and already let! Definitely not worth £1000! Overlooking a dual carriageway and on a busy, hard-to-park-in estate!

HecatesBees · 02/11/2024 12:44

NeverDropYourMooncup · 02/11/2024 11:54

I was packing up one last box before we left

Show quote history

I just moved into a new flat on Friday. The door was open because the movers were going in and out, and I was packing up one last box before we left.

No mention of the old flat in the opening paragraph makes it difficult to see that. Sure we can work it out, but it's doesn't flow

IcyLilacZebra · 02/11/2024 12:33

I wouldn't have really been happy about that at all I would have felt that was rude to just walk in regardless

lollypopsforme · 02/11/2024 12:30

If it was me op i would have been more verbal as in.
Get the fuck out out my home and fuck off you nosey basterds.

ByMerryKoala · 02/11/2024 12:25

Yes, she was rude. But I'm not convinced that there's any method by which you can politely tell someone to get some manners though.

Original poster
TheCheeryKoala · 02/11/2024 12:24

SilverChampagne · 02/11/2024 12:17

You were literally walking out the door, she probably didn’t see it as your home, because it wasn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not as outrageous as walking in while you still actually lived there.

Show quote history

I’m not sure where you got the idea that I was “literally walking out the door.” My post specifically said I was in the flat packing up a box. She walked in unannounced while I was still there.

OP posts:
Precipice · 02/11/2024 12:23

Oftenaddled · 02/11/2024 12:18

Movers were going in and out. Door was open. None of your personal stuff was there.

She was a bit forward, to use an old fashioned term, but I wouldn't have done more than answer her question and tell her I was busy / wish her well / leave her to it.

Other people coming in doesn't mean everyone else can just stroll in without authorisation. Much like if a stream of partygoers is going to your neighbour's place, it doesn't mean you can also just to go your neighbour's place.

PrawnAgain · 02/11/2024 12:21

Mumsnet is really weird sometimes. Op your neighbour was clearly out of order. I'm not sure why people are trying to excuse this kind of behaviour.

QuestionableMouse · 02/11/2024 12:21

I think she has an absolute cheek and would be quite uncomfortable with it! Moving out or not, it's still your home until you lock the door for the last time.

Oftenaddled · 02/11/2024 12:20

She sounds like one of those people who goes and sees all the neighbours' houses if they're on sale. I don't think your reaction was awful, and you feel the way you feel about it, but a lot of people really wouldn't mind this at all.

MauveCritic · 02/11/2024 12:20

TheCheeryKoala · 02/11/2024 11:57

It happened just as I described in my post - she walked in unannounced and immediately asked about the rent.

Show quote history

Well, that is very odd. I didn't realise you were moving out, so it wouldn't be an issue for me. I'd be glad I was leaving.

Oftenaddled · 02/11/2024 12:18

Movers were going in and out. Door was open. None of your personal stuff was there.

She was a bit forward, to use an old fashioned term, but I wouldn't have done more than answer her question and tell her I was busy / wish her well / leave her to it.

SilverChampagne · 02/11/2024 12:17

TheCheeryKoala · 02/11/2024 12:12

“Out of nowhere, a neighbour I’d never spoken to before just walked into my flat, started looking around, and then asked how much I paid for it!”

Show quote history

You were literally walking out the door, she probably didn’t see it as your home, because it wasn’t 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not as outrageous as walking in while you still actually lived there.

Original poster
TheCheeryKoala · 02/11/2024 12:12

RoachFish · 02/11/2024 12:02

So she was asking how much the rent was on the flat you were leaving? I don’t think that’s particularly rude. She might have been interested in renting it or get an idea of if she was paying too much for hers.

“Out of nowhere, a neighbour I’d never spoken to before just walked into my flat, started looking around, and then asked how much I paid for it!”

OP posts:
RoachFish · 02/11/2024 12:02

So she was asking how much the rent was on the flat you were leaving? I don’t think that’s particularly rude. She might have been interested in renting it or get an idea of if she was paying too much for hers.

Cherrysoup · 02/11/2024 12:02

That’s very cheeky, imo, plus crap timing as you’re packing the last box to leave!

Oftenaddled · 02/11/2024 11:59

Neither of you was polite by any of the usual conventions, but it's easy to see why she might have asked, and I would just have answered her.

Original poster
TheCheeryKoala · 02/11/2024 11:57

MauveCritic · 02/11/2024 11:52

It depends on how this neighbour 'walked into your house'. If they simply walked in and started talking about the rent, I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. If they walked in and introduced themselves and you got an 'OK' vibe, then maybe they don't have great social skills and were trying to break the ice.

It happened just as I described in my post - she walked in unannounced and immediately asked about the rent.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 02/11/2024 11:56

Bloody cheek!

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