For getting rid of my chinese name

Rude people may say that. Not the first question I would ask someone based on their looks...British people are not all blueyed and blond.

You don't know that. One of my aunts is half-Chinese and looks mixed. Two of my cousins are also half-Chinese and look entirely Chinese. Of their children who are a quarter Chinese 2 of them look entirely Western and one still looks very Chinese too. Genetics are a fascinating mix and you really can't know how anyone will look.

If you are happier that way then you're absolutely reasonable to do it. Don't care about what anyone else might think. Ofcourse your children will know that their mum is from China, so what. They live in the UK so will feel 100% British and they might not even be intetested in your origins. I'm from another European country but my children are not interested at all. One is fan of Japanese culture because of mangas and would love to go to there. So don't spend too much time thinking about it, they might not even be interested.

I know two Chinese women, born in Uk to Chinese parents. They both have British names. And have married British men. They both have British names kids .

they also enjoy celebrating some Chinese holidays, and eating Chinese food.
they also don’t hate their parents and don’t hate being recognised as being of Chinese heritage. But they are as British as I am ( northern and southern European parents)

in summary .
so what you wish, hold on to your heritage in the way you wish .
i don’t speak either of my parents languages.
and think of my self as a Londoner.

Also genetics is funny. You can never really tell how your children will look. You may want them to not look conventionally of Asian heritage but they may do so.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · Today 11:02
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Name them whatever you like, but will you speak Chinese to them?

Very good point. Being bilingual can only be beneficial.

Name them whatever you like, but will you speak Chinese to them?

That is your choice of course op.

Yes, your children won't look conventionally Asian, as mine don't either, but they will want to know about their Chinese heritage at some point.

When people meet you for the first time, what do you usually say when they ask the inevitable "Where are you from?" Or the dreaded "Where are you really from?"

Will you really deny that you're Chinese?

Hmmm 🤔
I mean if it's what you want, go for it. It just screams a bit 'self-hater'-ish (and I'm sure there will be some denial there) but ultimately, it's your life.

Your children may grow up wanting to reclaim their Chinese heritage though as their mum is ethnically Chinese regardless of namechange. As long as you don't poison their minds against it while they're young, you can raise them how you want.

It’s entirely your decision.

This isn't something I've been personally affected by but I agree with pp about reclaiming this for yourself and your children if you can find a healthy way to do so. Obviously at the end of the day this is your choice- it's your name- but there's something about owning the fact that you've overcome difficulties in your journey under this name. It's part of your identity warts and all, and while I understand wanting to distance yourself in some way that's probably more about wanting to distance yourself from the hurt and control you faced from your parents. So my advice would be to get support to deal with that part and reclaim the rest for yourself. To me it's important that children learn about their heritage so it's something they can be proud of.

Speaking as a BBC myself, I often wish I had an English name to make things "easier", but why should I be forced to adapt and anglicise my birth name to fit in? It's part of my heritage and I am not ashamed of being Chinese.

My parents would often say "You're Chinese so you should....", similar to how your parents are using your heritage to bully you. Rather than erasing it, reclaim it. Your children will not thank you for keeping that part of their heritage away from them.

It does sound like you're only removing all traces of being Chinese to spite your parents which is why I voted YABU. YANBU to be upset with them or to choose English names otherwise.

Your children will be British citizens but what do you think others see if they meet them the first time?