Family Visit - Normal to be Ignored.

I agree. Instilling good manners starts from a very young age. I think that parents are so focused on ensuring their kids are constantly entertained and not bored for a single second that they fail to teach them socialisation (including conversational skills and table manners). I recently gave my friend's daughter a book. It was a nice, new book. The child, who is 5, basically snatched it from my hand and ran off. I waited in vain for her mother to tell her to say "thank you ginasevern". At 5 years old I would have been pulled up for not saying "thank you" or "good morning". In fact, it was automatic for me to do so. The lack of conversation and good manners really won't do these kids any favours in the adult world.

It would make me feel so uncomfortable to be visiting someone and have them totally disregard me. I’m already not completely at ease in someone else’s house and I think that’s the same for most people.
It takes zero effort to say good morning, even if you have children (I have 5, so I do know!) and say e.g. “there’s eggs croissants and cereal… just help yourself”. It’s basic manners and hosting.

I do ask my visitors if they’ve slept well. Mostly it’s a nicety that gets the conversation started, but if someone’s pillow is too thin or their room too warm I can do something about it.

It used to be the norm to want your guests to be comfortable, but this seems to be a vanishing courtesy like so many others.

I'm with the PP who find this bizarre and rude. I cannot imagine not acknowledging someone walking into the room, whether said person was a guest or an immediate family member. My DP and DS would do the same. DS is now 14 but wouldn't have ignored someone even at a very young age and he didn't sleep properly until he was 8 so I'm very familiar with being cranky in the mornings.

I'm actually currently working my notice in a job because of an odd culture and the first thing that raised a red flag for me was that I'd walk in and say good morning and nobody, not even the people sat directly next to me, would look up or acknowledge what I'd said. It was like being in one of those weird dreams where people look right through you. I think PP are underestimating how uncomfortable this can make an atmosphere.

I do actually think it's the height of bad manners and is incredibly rude - I would say good morning even to a guest I was thoroughly pissed off with. I would also probably ask them how they slept and I don't think that's an odd question to ask a guest, even one who was a close family member. I'm shocked at the amount of people on this thread who think it's perfectly OK not to acknowledge someone, especially a guest, walking into a room in any way at all.

OP I'd be making excuses to leave early tbh. Not in a huff but just because I'd feel unwelcome and uncomfortable and I'd want to remove myself from the situation so I could still enjoy the day.

Would this parent be your DiL by any chance, where's your son in all of this. If he's refused to get up or gone out somewhere and is refusing to do anything for you I wouldn't blame the DiL she's probably seething. And if I'm honest your dislike of her is quite clear.

I think I would reappear and start to get breakfast for the adults and make some coffee. You tend to pickup if hosts would like this or not. If there’s a frostiness in the air, I’d step back and make an excuse to leave. If there’s a better atmosphere, I would ask what they are doing today. Do they include you in the plans?

I hosted loads of friends and relatives with small children. We always told them about breakfast plans and dc had breakfast with guests. They were not separate.

There was no indication in the OP that they weren't welcoming or inclusive.
My mum was obsessed with "good morning" and wanted everyone to take a moment to say this to each other when she arrived downstairs when staying at my house.
I'd been up usually for 2 hours at least with fractious kids trying to keep them quiet. Probably didn't have much sleep. The morning was not good and it didn't feel like "good morning" to me, that was 2 hours ago. The kids couldn't see the point of it either. She always thought they were being rude but they were engrossed in play or whatever.
What purpose does saying " good morning" serve? It's just a greeting, you're staying in my house so I don't need to greet you specifically. I don't greet my DP every morning. Personally I find it odd but recognise I'm in the minority. I do try to remember to say it to DM tbf

Agree you have different expectations. When I was running around after two small kids my mum would treat my house as her own and never expect to be waited on - in fact she’d be making me cups of tea and was always a massive help and brilliant to have around.

My MIL, on the other hand, would come and stay for a week and spend most of her time plonked on the sofa saying “I’ll have a sandwich if you like” or “pop the kettle on, we’ll have a coffee”, regardless of anything else I happened to be doing, how long I’d been up with the children or how knackered I was from working. She was pass agg letting me know I was failing in my hosting duties and should be doing everything for her because she was a guest. Having her and FIL to stay was a massive PITA and a ton of extra work for me.

But the good morning thing is weird, and there’s no excuse for lack of basic manners. Was your relative always this rude?

Unless other things have happened, I think yabu. They didn’t say good morning and ask how you slept is not a reason to judge their parenting.

If I’m focused on the kids and someone is coming in and says good morning, I wouldn’t stop my conversation with my child to say it back especially with young children who are easily distracted. I would give a nod of acknowledgment though. I’d expect you to help yourself and have a seat and then once I was finished talking, I’d say good morning though. Asking you how you slept is not something that I comes to mind. My dad asks that question though but he is the only one I know who does. My in-laws don’t.

We were invited to stay with relatives for a couple of days. I had tweens. The host family had teens. My kids were really excited to see their cousins.
Teens didn't even come out of rooms for meals. Took it back upstairs to eat. One teen was having noisy sex with his girlfriend in the middle of the afternoon. I had to take my kids out to the near by park as I didn't want them hearing that.
I offered help, made suggestions of taking everyone out for a meal or a day out. Anything to actually spend time with them. I was told the teens had their lives to lead. It is the same when grandparents visit. I wasn't expecting them to hang around 24/7 but maybe an hour or two of their time would have been nice.
We just don't bother going to see them now.

If someone didn't say good morning then I'd assume I'd pissed them off or outstayed my welcome. Did you walk in on a row? I wouldn't expect to be waited on hand and foot or be entertained but basic acknowledgement I would expect. I think I'd speak to who ever I felt most comfortable with and ask if things are OK, do they need you to leave. I hopefully wouldn't take it personally (unless they said it was) as its a bit overwhelming at times to manage everything and maybe it's got a bit much.

It’s weird and rude OP.
Is this a Sibling/Friend?
I would go home and not visit again.

I'd of course say good morning but if I was wrangling say, a 1 year old and a 3 year old, not having slept well myself, I don't think I'd be asking how you'd slept. I find that an odd question in general. I agree with a pp that motherhood isn't the trial some people make it out to be but when I had a baby and a toddler, a visitor having one night of bad sleep after years of being up several times a night wouldn't have massively impressed me, especially if I'd not had a coffee yet.

Get right up in their grill and say good morning so they can't ignore you.

Completely agree that saying good morning back to a visitor is a basic courtesy, and I'd like to think I've never failed to do so.

But if I have I guarantee it was when my kids were little and I was exhausted. No one's excusing the mum, just cutting her a little slack.

It came across as a snapshot of one moment, maybe didn’t even hear you?
Were they welcoming wen you arrived?

WTF?

I’d leave.

It takes a nanosecond to acknowledge and greet a person - getting breakfast doesn’t preclude social interaction.

I never said the adult got a free pass, only that children aren’t performing sealions. Maybe she’s pissed off about something or can tell you’ve got the hump with her, OP.

Whenever I stay at someone’s house I always discuss quickly what they do in the mornings- are they are quick grab and go in terms of breakfast, do they like to have a sit down meal, can I go ahead and make myself a coffee if I’m up early, is there anywhere they have to be at a certain time?

'Pointless niceties' to reply to a guest saying good morning to you??? Are you for real?? 🤦‍♀️

I'm finding some (most!) of the replies in here incredibly bizarre to be honest!

What on earth is happening to manners with this current generation of young parents?? If a guest has travelled 4 hours to visit you, then be welcoming and at at the very least say good morning BACK when the same is offered to you ffs!! Ignoring this most basic of greeting when your guest walks in and offers it is beyond rude! It's no effort at all to reply with 'good morning' however 'harassed' you may be with your children!

Those posters who feel this basic courtesy is beyond their capabilities (or requirement!) should have a word with themselves...I'm astonished at your lack of respect!

Yes I think we need more context OP?

And people are reflecting the circumstances, breakfast wrangling in their own house where if children are very small no one would have slept well.

That's an entirely different situation from visiting a relative , when child would be expected to be on best behaviour etc, and parenting on best behaviour.

Basically, mumsnet is full of absolutely knackered parents who are trying but know that they can't be perfect parents every single minute, and breakfast in their own house is actually completely OK time for standards not to be as high as normal.

If op had said that they all ignored her for 24 hours responses would be very different.

if I’m very comfortable in someone’s presence I won’t often talk much in the morning! I’m not trying to be rude, if this is the only issue I’d let it go.

Absolutely. Survival mode is the very worst days. The majority of days you're able to function as a human and interact.

Maybe she's not having a good morning
Or maybe she doesn't believe in pointless niceties?