MIL only one not to say my baby looks like me

My son was born with blue eyes that got darker. I commented on them turning brown and mil said "yeah that's a shame." I found it incredibly rude as my eyes are brown! The worst part is I don't think she was really meaning to be rude so it was her honest opinion that just slipped out.

I think people do just prefer to see their own genes passed on.

I don't think it's unusual. My PIL often claimed that DS got what were entirely normal baby/toddler traits from their side of the family. Like it was only ever babies in their family that waved or something.

I wonder if it's something specific to members of the dad's family. As a PP said, there's never a question of maternal lineage (if that's the right word) but, without a DNA test, nobody other than the mother can be certain of paternity. I also wonder if, in my PIL's case, they are worried that DS will be closer to my side of the family and so are trying to claim him as one of their own too.

My MIL made pointed comments that DS1 looked nothing like her son or any of her family for over a year. He is the spit of DH now but I found it pretty offensive at the time.

It's very irritating but it's an evolutionary thing, she wants your child to look strongly like her family as part of her bonding process and it sounds like they don't right now.

Those MiLs eh. Liking their sons more than their DiLs.

Yes, you’re being unreasonable.

Don't make a drama out of this - in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter!

My mil always comments how much my dc look like me when in reality they are the image of dh. It's her opinion, don't take it personally.

My 1st baby was so ugly, not a cute baby AT ALL. I was annoyed that MIL kept saying how much he DID LOOK LIKE ME

This. Congratulations on your baby. Babies and kids look like one, other, both parents to more or less degrees as they grow.

Yes, you're being silly. Maybe she doesn't see a resemblance. Big deal.

Why would she say he looks like you when she doesn’t think he does? How strange

This. I see my own expressions in my son’s face, but my PIL’s only see DH. I refrain from pointing out that DS has always been a child strangers coo over, whereas DS looked like a freckled gnome at the same age.

Is everyone who days baby looks like you making a slight to your dh? No. So why would mil saying she can see the features that baby shares with dh be a slight on you?

Your child is a mix of both your dna and as your hearing it from everyone else does it seriously matter that 1 person doesn't? I would only be baffled by it if dh wasn't the father. My mil once made comment ds hair was from step fil. Obv this is impossible and the hair comes from my genes. I didn't take offence just left puzzled at her logic

My first born son is literally a carbon copy of me..however my husbands aunt used to bang on about how much he looks like his dad ( funnily enough as an adult he looks nothing like his dad still, he's even 5 inches taller than him!) It annoyed me too

Honestly, they all look like little potatoes.

Well maybe she’s sensitive to the fact that no one ever comments on him having any resemblance to his father
You are being silly and manufacturing a drama out of nothing imo

My mil will never say either of ours looks like me. We have 2 boys, they're both quite different. Granted, our eldest was the spit of my DH as a baby, that's fine! Our youngest definitely looks more like me yet she would never admit it and constantly says he's such a 'insert surname'. I find it funny to be honest as everyone else always tells her he's like me but she won't allow it. I just find it really strange!

I had the same and it was particularly hilarious because if you talked to my MIL I literally had nothing to do with my baby whatsoever - he looked like everyone else in the family, her DS, her brother, her uncle’s dog’s mother. But everyone else I meet says he’s the spit of me. Fortunately it was the least of a number of annoying things she does so I didn’t get too invested in it! Also my dad then did the exact same thing to my SIL re my brother’s baby 🤦‍♀️

I virtually never see the supposed resemblance between a baby and their parent! Honestly it makes me believe that most people just say it, though it’s possible everyone else sees something I don’t.

Unless this is part of a much wider issue, I’d let it go. It’s ok that she sees her son in her grandson, after all she knew him as a baby!

I’ve had similar. My son looks just like me to the point that strangers have commented that he’s practically my twin. I can see that he looks a lot more like me than my husband. My MIL insists that he doesn’t look like anyone. It’s as though because she can’t see a resemblance to her own family she doesn’t want there to be one at all to anyone. It doesn’t bother me but it is odd. Just ignore her. It’s honestly not important who she thinks the baby looks like.

She probably sees her baby son in your baby but didn't know you when you were little. Don't obsess over this, all MiL do it

No need for anybody to say the baby looks like you, really, because they came out of your body. I suspect this archaic convention came about because the same cannot be said of fathers.

Most people I know have never said who either of my children resemble- and I couldn't care less! Never occurred to me it's 'a thing'. Don't sweat the small stuff op.

Also fwiw some people genuinely are hopeless with seeing who looks like who and they can't help it, don't take it personally.my dh still refuses to admit our 6 year old looks like him but he really is the spitting image of him!

She probably genuinely just looks at your baby and sees the family resemblance. Some people don't like to say things they don't really believe, so that's why she is keeping quiet about the baby looking like you. I don't think it's a malicious things and I've seen threads like this before, it seems to be a thing.