MIL only one not to say my baby looks like me

It’s like my Dad 😂 he can’t face it that my DD is the actual image of my DP… with hair on! He always tries to find something that looks like me. If it was the other way then MIL would be the same. They want to find themselves in their DGC that’s all, it probably stings her a little that he looks like you and not DH. It’s not a dig at you, stop taking it personally.

mines the same OP. never my side lol. I pointed out once i thought Dd looked like my niece as a baby once. She was very quick to tell me she didn’t think so. She’d been quick to point out how much my niece looked like me when she’d met her before. So in a roundabout way was saying she didn’t look like me ( tbh i don’t think she did as a baby). Not a big deal but she’s never made any comment ever on shared traits with me. As she gets older DD is looking like me more and more and i hope it’s annoying her a bit 😂🤣 She did the same with her other grandkids so it’s not personal to me…i don’t think lol

Good grief.

It's possible to see anyone in a baby. And it's natural to notice the things that relate to the people you know best, particularly the ones you knew as babies.

MIL remembers her son as a baby, and if there are traits in your baby that are like her baby son's she's allowed to say so.

MILs can't do right for doing wrong. She loves her grandson, she's looking for a connection. It's natural, it's evolutionary, and it's connections like this that build the instinctive feeling of protection that the human race is built on, and that your baby needs from its extended family.

Ignore previous post! Realised I was on the wrong thread but pressed post rather than delete
FWIW - remember MIL would have spent hours gazing at your DH when he was a newborn and this is probably bringing back all of those memories and she probably does see a lot of resemblance to her son. I doubt she's doing it intentionally to upset you.

Ooohh... I bet

Rolling my eyes hard at everyone trying to make out you are hard work or looking to be offended.

Women go through so much to carry and birth heir children, for MILs to then act like the baby is 100% her son in looks or personality feels like an erasure of the mums hard work and parentage. It is well known that MILs do this and it is well known this upsets mums so lay off.

I agree with PPs who say it's it biological for her to look for her son in the baby to try to bond. My MIL went on and on about how much daughter looked JUST LIKE HER for a few months to the point where she was getting her own baby pictures out. Looks nothing like her 🙄

This, she didn't know you as a baby I assume ? But perhaps he doesn't look like you, why does that matter? It's nothing you've done that makes a baby look like they look.

My child is essentially my little twin, everyone says so, and my MIL does this - it does not bother me in the slightest :) Looks are also about expressions, mannerisms etc. she loves her son and she loves her grandson, she’s naturally going to be the person to see her son where she wants to. I expect I shall be the same if my son ever has a baby. I have a secure relationship with my MIL though - we love each other. It sounds like there’s maybe tension with yours though?

My dsis had a baby who was the spit of her DH. Everyone who knew her well enough had the good sense to pretend otherwise. Not sure mil got the memo in time 😬

My dh's gran thought every child of mine looked like their dad when born. She obviously saw him as a child so they may well have. I didn't take offense. Your kid is yours, you don't need validation from anyone else and quite frankly tbeir faces change as they grow into their features. Stop being annoyed at your mil and let it go.

My son actually looked more like me at first but now looks like a mini copy of his dad, they have similar eyes. Our youngest looks very much like her dad as a toddler but actually I think she looks more like my auntie. The eldest was a mix of both of us but her colouring is from me as are her eyebrows and nose.

One of my cousins who I hadn't seen for ages came over to me at a family gathering and went on and on about how much my baby looked like me.

It actually wasn't my baby I was holding but my DH's niece so no blood relation to me and my baby was elsewhere.

I teased her about it and she confessed that she always tells new mums their babies look like her, she just assumes that is what mums want to hear.

Moral of the story - it may be that not everyone does agree with you that the baby looks just like you, they might just be agreeing with you or saying what you want to hear.

My SIL is always saying how much her kids look like her, I can't see it at all but it's clearly important to her somehow so I just nod and smile.

My mil is obsessed with how similar my kids are to her own, not just in looks but personality as well. She still mentions it regularly and they're both in primary school! It is a bit annoying, its like she thinks there's nothing of me in them at all, she's never once compared either of them to me. I just smile and nod though and let her enjoy them.

Well to be fair one of mine looked like Churchill but the other looked like a little monkey.
Fortunately for her she grew out of it.

I laughed out loud when I read your post OP. My daughter is 19 and my MIL was exactly the same. I could have written this way back then. Right from when baby was tiny to toddler and older my MIL would always say she looked like DH. Absolutely everyone else said she looked like me. She very much looks like me, my colouring and build. I always completely ignored it. Often other people would comment to her that she was talking nonsense, Just ignore it. It won’t be intended to mean anything at all. Enjoy your baby. X

I think the other side of the family always notice what's relevant to them; my MIL once blurted out 'I love DGD's beautiful blue eyes they're just like my great uncle's they're clearly from my side of the family' when I have blue eyes, just like everyone is my family ... that was 15 years ago (not over it either lol!)

Neither of my children looks like me, they are very like DH. It really doesn’t bother me. I think you’re probably overthinking it.

However it is true that some GP can behave a bit strangely. My children are both very bright and my mother only attributes this to my side of the family. DD is also quite musically talented which I am not. Mum was keen to tell me about her cousin who was also very talented so that’s probably where DD got it from. I suggested that possibly she got it from DH who taught himself to play piano?

When ds was born most people said he looked like dh. I didn’t mind, he was just ds to me.
We went to visit an aunt one day and she found a baby photo of me. It was like looking at ds.
I think in certain situations dc look like one dp more than the other.

It does not matter who the child looks like, especially as a baby.
My son looked very like my DH as a baby/child but he's more like me/my side of the family now.

My MIL always says she can never see me or our SIL in her grandkids, only ever her sons, she is just convinced they don’t look anything like us. It’s quite funny how adamant she is but we aren’t offended by it, I think everyone perceives babies differently and she is just probably remembering hers as babies. It doesn’t really mean anything as it doesn’t matter who or what they look like and ultimately they look like THEM!

You sound like hard work . Why do you need to make a drama out of something so ridiculous. You can't control what people say or think.
Maybe give her a list of things she should say to you

I think this is a thing and I understand why it’s annoying!

Our DD (DC2) looks like a mix of my PILs - genuinely could be another child of theirs - looks like all of DH, his brother and his sister - as if there is none of me in there at all. PILs refuse to acknowledge this and have always said she looks like me.

By contrast, BIL (their other son) had a DD around the same time who actually takes after her mum, and they never shut up saying how like BIL she is. They generally favour BIL (golden child) and his DD over DH and our kids and this is all part of it. They want to claim ownership over DNiece but they don’t really give a shit about my DD.

My MIL said our son was the spitting image of my DH's stepfather...

It is more than possible that IN HER EYES the baby more closely resembles her son than you. There is zero point arguing about it. I've seen many babies where people have said it's the spit of one or other of the parents but I cannot for the life of me see it. I am not choosing not to see it, I just cannot see the resemblance which is unquestionably there in the eyes of others. Please don't make this a thing with your MIL, unless you want to make yourself look foolish.

My first baby was the spitting image of a well known celebrity chef. I’d have been pretty annoyed if people kept saying she looked like me! Honestly you’re being silly.

Everyone has their own opinion on who a baby looks like. My ds came out the womb looking like my father and over the course of a year he looked like dhs father , me , my brother , dh and now he's just a mini me but sometimes he'll pull a face and he'll look like dh or my mother. As he gets older he'll continue to change