Is it OK for him to comment on my body?

Who does he think he Is ?
Hell no tell him to fuck off with his opinion

What's your reason for continuing to see this guy if it's casual and he's made you feel insecure?

Look, i realised whilst dating that a man who feels his need to comment negatively or comparatively on your physicality outweighs your feelings/ politeness tends to be a poor prospect and doesn't care that much or isn't that bright.

Not great company in other words. If he wants a curvier woman, I would free him up to find one. There just isn't any need to comment in that manner. Find someone who is nuts about you, no matter what 'type' he liked in the past.

I'm confused by the whole set up.

Why are you dating someone in any capacity that you don't feel an awful lot for. You like him as a friend but that seems to be about it.

Even FWB doesn't fit here as the whole premise of that dictate you fancy the oaths off each other but don't want to be in a relationship. But it doesn't sound like he fancies the pants off you.

I've NEVER been intimately involved with anyone who wasn't tremendously keen on me. I couldn't be bothered. I don't know why anyone would

OP, consider doing the www.freedomprogramme.co.uk it helps with boundaries and self esteem in all relationships.

What he is doing is not the actions of a good man.
He is trying to undermine you.
This is not health nor normal.
That you do not fully realise that, makes you vulnerable to manipulation and abuse.
Take this very seriously.

Your body isn’t a commodity, how disrespectful

Bloody hell OP! Wake up and ditch him or stay with him until your self esteem no longer exists. As others will explain, it's a technique to undermine you and make you feel insecure so you feel the need to seek reassurance from him. Bin.

He's negging you.

You don't choose a partner then try to change their physique, you choose a partner as a package including physique. As he sounds only like a fuck buddy rather than a relationship, he can just piss off.

Hang around mumsnet is full of garbage

In some ways it says something for your relationship that he is confident enough to tell you.

That's one of the dumbest things I've ever seen on Mumsnet.

“Is that so Dave? Well, as it happens, I’d “love it” if you had a better attitude and a bigger cock, but we don’t all get what we want”.
It is not acceptable for him to say this shit to you but I would fight fire with fire, see how he likes it!

Have a conversation with him about his comments and ask him why he's seeing you if his preference is for a woman to be curvaceous. I'd want him to realise that stating you like a completely different body type is quite hurtful.

The guy I'm seeing but not formally dating for a long while
Sorry to be blunt, but if you are looking for a permanent relationship then you need to be fully aware that anyone in this position does not and will not love you, and they will not be with you long term. People who fall in love do not keep this tentative fuck-buddy-don't-know-where-you-stand status for a long while. They just don't. So bin him.

would love it if I gained some weight & got a bigger bum etc. as he loves curvy women
You deserve to be with someone who wants you and tells you they want you. You should never need to change how you look for someone else's sexual kicks, and it takes an immense arrogance for a man to suggest that you should. So bin him.

He has said this in the past but in a respectful way where he has also expressed how he likes skinny girls too
This bit is the more subtle negging. You should have got rid of him then. Still, not too late, bin him now.

If he wants someone with a different body type to you then he should never have been seeing you in the first place.

You don't start dating someone and then tell them to change.

You are perfect as you are - he's a moron - bin him!

From a health perspective if you are in a long term relationship- yes

Deciding he would like you to have bigger boobs/ass - no

What's the point of this conversation or comment and what's the point of you confronting him about it. Comments about body shape and preferences are nearly always going to end badly. He shouldn't say things that make you feel bad, you shouldn't let him carry on the arrangement with you while also making you feel bad. Move on.

Excellent advice here

wlf
.to be clear I'm 66 year old pirate/sailor ..retired.
You are what you are kid
My girlfriend is always saying the same thing..
And I'm her toy boy. HA
Hey , my advice. Move on to someone who concerts with you. Not what society tell you
.

Nope. It's not ok that he's commented on your physique - why's he with you? Just another gaslighting ar£e. I'm sure if you managed to gain a bit of weight he'd start pinching belly as a 'joke' and comment on non-existent cellulite..

And then tell him that he is a big cock

Tell him you prefer a bigger cock.

I voted YABU

But to be clear, I did it because I've not read anything this ridiculous for a while.

You KNOW the answer and you KNEW the reaction you'd get from Mumsnet when you typed your OP.

Pretty pointless really 🤷‍♂️

It’s one thing to find a certain body shape attractive but it’s entirely another thing to tell the person you’re seeing that theirs isn’t it.

He’s gone a step further and suggested you change your perfectly good body shape to one he might like more.

He can fuck off.

My DP has made comments about my body (overweight) which he says come from a position of caring about my health. I can see where he’s coming from, but still this is my body and if he doesn’t fancy me like this he can find someone else. He insists he does fancy me and his actions seem to back that up, so I’ve let it slide, but your man doesn’t even have the health excuse.

He’s purely talking about your body as a visual aid for his sexual arousal. Twat.

I was underweight when I was younger and HATED it. My boyfriends were always so appreciative of my body - I wouldn't have stayed with anyone who made comments like your bf OP.

Now I weight more I have curvier hips, much big boobs - my DH was with me when I was underweight, is with me now - and the whole time has said my body is beautiful. He could have easily said I was flat chested when I was too skinny. Now I'm curvier he could easily now say my tummy doesn't look as great as it did.

He doesn't. He's always lovely about my body. This isn't about what body type your partner prefers - it's about him disrespecting you.