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Original poster

Weird old lady

108 replies

Nowayvenus · 01/11/2024 20:19

Do you think this is weird? Went shopping with my boys, as we went to the till to pay a little old lady went up to my youngest saying that he looked cheeky and grabbed his wrist to pull him towards her, I think she was going to pinch his cheeks. He backed away so I said he was shy and kept between them, so she then started on my eldest. I said he was shy too and moved us all away to another till.
I know she probably didn’t mean any harm but it freaked me out.

OP posts:
ZippyDoodle · 01/11/2024 21:27

Could have cognitive decline. Could have dementia. Lack of boundaries and awareness with both sadly.

RunningOutOfImaginitiveUsernames · 01/11/2024 21:25

TigerSteak · 01/11/2024 20:25

How dare an elderly person interact with you. How awful!

You mean how dare she put her hands on OPs child and make them uncomfortable.

Bababear987 · 01/11/2024 21:23

Most people have no issue with people interacting with their children but touching is a different thing altogether.

We teach children bodily autonomy for their own safety and because we love and respect them. How can you teach children that no one should touch them but then allow random people in a cafe to do so? I know the vast majority of people mean no harm but their feelings are irrelevant. I'm not going to sit by and teach my child "it's ok that random woman grabbed you and tried to pull you away from mummy because shes old" because frankly it's not ok and what sort of message does that send?

Parents arent paranoid for wanting to teach children that they have just as much right to their own body as an adult does.

Dementia is different case altogether but if you see a parent or gparent about to do this then stop them and correct them.

ThisTimeNextWeekDavid · 01/11/2024 21:20

Lazydomestic · 01/11/2024 21:15

My weird old lady late mother was always delighted to see children - she would talk, smile, wave & do an occasional dance to engage with them.
She wasn’t weird - It was dementia - her boundaries were blurred & she often mistook them for her own children & their friends

she meant no harm & fortunately most people were compassionate

Edited

That’s lovely to hear ❤️

ThisTimeNextWeekDavid · 01/11/2024 21:19

ilovesooty · 01/11/2024 21:14

It's lovely that that brightened her day.

Show quote history

Thank you. It really did. And the cute (blankie weilding, looked like my big brother when he was a blondie) toddler didn’t seem to scarred by the interaction with the Old Lady in the Electric Wheelchair. Everyone was a winner!

Lazydomestic · 01/11/2024 21:15

My weird old lady late mother was always delighted to see children - she would talk, smile, wave & do an occasional dance to engage with them.
She wasn’t weird - It was dementia - her boundaries were blurred & she often mistook them for her own children & their friends

she meant no harm & fortunately most people were compassionate

ilovesooty · 01/11/2024 21:14

ThisTimeNextWeekDavid · 01/11/2024 20:58

Took my properly old (87, terminally ill and using a wheelchair) mum to the garden centre today. Immediately out of the car, there was a proper toddler (under 2) and her brother (probably between 3 & 4). Admittedly my mother didn’t manhandle any child but her face instantly lit up and she waved and said hello to them, commented on their blankie, said how lovely they both were, engaged with them and probably made all the noises a Weird Old Lady might make.

Fortunately, their mum was a kind, non paranoid and trusting woman (given that she was - like you - standing right next to her kids) and she did nothing but hover and smile.

Seeing children gives my mother such joy. She would be devastated for it to be misconstrued.

You are within your rights to set boundaries for strangers interactions with your kids. I would however suggest not everyone is out to get you, even if you think their boundaries are wonky.

It's lovely that that brightened her day.

Babadookinthewardrobe · 01/11/2024 21:13

I agree. I hope I’m that awesome when I reach my 80s!

ThisTimeNextWeekDavid · 01/11/2024 21:12

Babadookinthewardrobe · 01/11/2024 21:03

I’m really glad there are still reasonable kind people like you around among the sea of paranoid old lady bashers. I’m far from being an old lady yet, but the lack of tolerance and kindness in some of these responses is very depressing.

Show quote history

Thank you. That means a lot.

Old ladies rock!

Women of 80’ odd years now were the feminists of the 70’s. They created our paths.

ETA: RESPECT!

MumChp · 01/11/2024 21:11

I would have stepped in and asked her to mind her own business.
Not ok!

LittleRedRidingHoody · 01/11/2024 21:10

It really was a different time!

When DS was about 5 days old I took him to M&S for a mooch. Plenty of people all ages smiled and cooed and said nice things from a distance. Older lady approached, stuck head INSIDE the pram to breathe all over him, kiss his cheek and then start lecturing me fiercely about keeping him away from germs 😂 I was so dazed I think I just nodded!

ToMeToYou2 · 01/11/2024 21:05

TigerSteak · 01/11/2024 20:25

How dare an elderly person interact with you. How awful!

This is more than interacting.

She had no right to touch another person's child

ThisTimeNextWeekDavid · 01/11/2024 21:05

Looking4wards · 01/11/2024 21:00

Difference was she didn't grab one of their wrists and tried to pull them towards her.

Show quote history

Well, yes. As I said.

But she would absolutely ‘shake hands’ or blow a kiss or stroke the head of a child if the situation availed.

Babadookinthewardrobe · 01/11/2024 21:03

ThisTimeNextWeekDavid · 01/11/2024 20:58

Took my properly old (87, terminally ill and using a wheelchair) mum to the garden centre today. Immediately out of the car, there was a proper toddler (under 2) and her brother (probably between 3 & 4). Admittedly my mother didn’t manhandle any child but her face instantly lit up and she waved and said hello to them, commented on their blankie, said how lovely they both were, engaged with them and probably made all the noises a Weird Old Lady might make.

Fortunately, their mum was a kind, non paranoid and trusting woman (given that she was - like you - standing right next to her kids) and she did nothing but hover and smile.

Seeing children gives my mother such joy. She would be devastated for it to be misconstrued.

You are within your rights to set boundaries for strangers interactions with your kids. I would however suggest not everyone is out to get you, even if you think their boundaries are wonky.

I’m really glad there are still reasonable kind people like you around among the sea of paranoid old lady bashers. I’m far from being an old lady yet, but the lack of tolerance and kindness in some of these responses is very depressing.

Looking4wards · 01/11/2024 21:00

ThisTimeNextWeekDavid · 01/11/2024 20:58

Took my properly old (87, terminally ill and using a wheelchair) mum to the garden centre today. Immediately out of the car, there was a proper toddler (under 2) and her brother (probably between 3 & 4). Admittedly my mother didn’t manhandle any child but her face instantly lit up and she waved and said hello to them, commented on their blankie, said how lovely they both were, engaged with them and probably made all the noises a Weird Old Lady might make.

Fortunately, their mum was a kind, non paranoid and trusting woman (given that she was - like you - standing right next to her kids) and she did nothing but hover and smile.

Seeing children gives my mother such joy. She would be devastated for it to be misconstrued.

You are within your rights to set boundaries for strangers interactions with your kids. I would however suggest not everyone is out to get you, even if you think their boundaries are wonky.

Difference was she didn't grab one of their wrists and tried to pull them towards her.

ThisTimeNextWeekDavid · 01/11/2024 20:58

Took my properly old (87, terminally ill and using a wheelchair) mum to the garden centre today. Immediately out of the car, there was a proper toddler (under 2) and her brother (probably between 3 & 4). Admittedly my mother didn’t manhandle any child but her face instantly lit up and she waved and said hello to them, commented on their blankie, said how lovely they both were, engaged with them and probably made all the noises a Weird Old Lady might make.

Fortunately, their mum was a kind, non paranoid and trusting woman (given that she was - like you - standing right next to her kids) and she did nothing but hover and smile.

Seeing children gives my mother such joy. She would be devastated for it to be misconstrued.

You are within your rights to set boundaries for strangers interactions with your kids. I would however suggest not everyone is out to get you, even if you think their boundaries are wonky.

Bababear987 · 01/11/2024 20:58

viennawaitsforyouu · 01/11/2024 20:46

Times were different then

Show quote history

But we arent living in "then". We are living in 2024 and if you dont know not to touch children without their consent you shouldnt be out and about.

Age is not an excuse. And there has never been an excuse children are human beings with their own autonomy.

BashfulClam · 01/11/2024 20:56
I’m loving this lately!
blushroses6 · 01/11/2024 20:54

I can’t stand people (of any age!) getting right in my baby or toddler’s face or reaching to touch them. They always seem put out when the child doesn’t respond well to it, it’s so bizarre. I’ve stopped being apologetic and saying “oh she’s a bit shy” now when she moves herself away as I just think it’s a totally normal reaction to a stranger getting in your space.

Itiswhysofew · 01/11/2024 20:48

JaneJeffer · 01/11/2024 20:22

Try singing weird old lady, weird old lady I don't have no time for no monkey business next time

Love itGrin

I think some people just get carried away in the moment. What did your boys say?

CrispyCrumpets · 01/11/2024 20:47

JaneJeffer · 01/11/2024 20:22

Try singing weird old lady, weird old lady I don't have no time for no monkey business next time

Brilliant 😄

Going to sing this to my Mum the next time she is here.

viennawaitsforyouu · 01/11/2024 20:46

Bababear987 · 01/11/2024 20:43

I hate when elderly people behave like this. Stop grabbing or touching random children, it's never been ok.

And I really couldn't care less if its ageist, it's the truth. It doesnt matter that they dont mean harm, they can still cause it if they're making children and parents uncomfortable. Age is not an excuse to be completely ignorant of your own behaviour.

Times were different then

Sidebeforeself · 01/11/2024 20:44

Please define a “weird old lady”? Can’t you just say a woman overstepped your boundaries?

Fizzygoo · 01/11/2024 20:44

Someone…anyone..a stranger grabbed your child’s wrist and pulled them towards them??

not acceptable

children are not objects to be handled and politeness does not stop you from having boundaries