Can you dress too young for your age?

Invisible.

what you’re saying is - if you’re older, be invisible.

Yes, I get this. Some brands and styles are so heavily adopted by a particular age demographic that they become a strong age signifier/uniform for that group and it can look 'unexpected' if a person from outside that group wears them. The same is true in reverse with teenagers typically shunning Sea Salt. I think the difference there is that people are looking at those styles and opting out because they're not part of the group that's adopted them as their uniform, which is different from a narrative that tells women certain clothes won't look right on them because their face and body aren't good enough anymore.

TBF, that is a good point, I look so bad in shirts and I look fine in a mac.

Genuinely, why do oversized sweatshirts look adorable on teens? All teens? Whether they're a size 2 or 18, tall, short, apple, athletic or hourglass? And why do older women look better in shirts? Again, is this regardless of the vast variation in their body shape, size and general appearance? What is the aspect that all women in a certain age group share that dictates whether a garment will look good on them?

I understand this point but I'm unsure if it is just about your figure, of course you can be thin and have a figure that could fit anything you like but to me being the Mum of a teenage girl, it is more than about fitting in the clothes. My DD buys quite a bit of her wardrobe from Brandy Melville: lots of the clothes appear very teenage specific to me apart from maybe the sweatpants, some thick jumpers. Mostly, even if I was thin enough to fit into the one size I wouldn't shop there but I suppose that is because I wouldn't want to dress the same as my DD.

I think you actually end up looking older when you ‘dress young’ So you know puffy things, flowery dresses, oversized sweatshirts look cute and adorable on teens /20s. Older women look a lot better when they stick to tailored items - shirts not puffy blouses. Plain fabrics or stripes not flowery. Smart jackets /coats not anoraks. I’ve realized this about myself. Doesn’t mean I always follow it though.
If you’ee older but super slim and toned you (ie no matronly bosom🙄) you can probably get away with a younger look. Oh yeah a proper bra is very important as you get older.

"My teenage son told me I dress young for my age and he told dh that a pack of t-shirts was 'too young for him and that he should remember he's 40."

Your teenage son needs to lose the arrogance and stop being so rude. He also needs to learn that he doesn't have to share his opinions out loud.

I also find the phrase “trying too hard” incredibly* judgmental and *nasty.

It implies that wanting to feel good and look good is somehow futile and self indulgent if you are over a certain age. It also comes with quite a lot of sexist baggage as if women who are post childbearing age should accept their invisibility.

I dress fairly conservatively because it’s what I feel comfortable in but fuck being told that I have to blend into a creepingly inoffensive miasma of beige separates because I am over 50.

is this “young” dressing? It’s middle age mum uniform here. it’s also how i dress daily and i’ve just turned 40 (sahm so not going into work)

Mmm I don't believe in clothes having an age limit but I think that people who ignore fashion trends and dress for what suits their shape and colouring always look far better than people who slavishly follow fashion trends . People should wear what ever they like but of course people do judge based on appearance.
For reference I think it's that younger bodies get away with wearing cheap
Fast fashion and look great, I think it's rare that older bodies can pull that off to the same degree.

My mum (who was generally lovely but had her moments!) once accused 21 year old me of looking like mutton dressed as lamb🙂. It's just a way for women to put other women down - it isn't something I've ever heard a man say

There is a huge variation in what 'older bodies' look like and equally in what 'younger bodies' look like. Yet there seems to be a narrative that every older woman has a body that is unpleasant and needs to be concealed, while every young woman is a beautiful waif who's body may be displayed for viewing pleasure. Because 'age appropriate' is almost always shorthand for covers your fat, your skin and your shape, because by default it will be nasty to look at compared with a young womans. There is so much there that is wrong and flawed. The negative generalisations about older bodies, the youth fetishism, the idea that our clothing choices should be based around how much of our bodies people may find attractive, just for starters.

Been reflecting on this in the shower this morning.

My take is that the people who do the judging are intrinsically insecure - they judge because they fear judgement. They position how they look alongside how they perceive others look and feel relieved when can rate themselves as better.

In general you become more comfortable in yourself as you get older and as a result far less likely to both be interested in the opinions of others and also less likely to judge (obviously there are still insecure older posters out there as we have seen on this thread).

I'm sorry but your son is incredibly rude. What gives him the right to dictate what is too young for his parents? My mother's colleague's daughter said something similar to her mother and that lady was hurt and her confidence was crushed for sometime, as she couldn't figure what looked good on her.
If your son has nothing positive or encouraging to say, then maybe this should be used as a teaching moment on ageism and choice.

I don’t think it is ageist to accept reality. Younger fashion is generally not flattering to older bodies and faces. Obviously you can dress however you choose but will people judge you? Yes they will. We all make judgements about others appearances to some degree. Up to you if this bothers you or not.
I would add that a benefit of getting older is that most people get past “following fashion” to wearing what they like and what is comfortable, practical and appropriate to their life and personal preference.

Was going to say just this. We have a friend (62) who is black and dresses like this. He looks his age, but he looks good. People don't stare or point. He gets accepted for who he is and what he wears.
However, if DP, same age but white, went out dressed like this people would be rolling about in the street pissing themselves laughing. I know I would. 😂

Oops meant to reply to @Ponoka7 post about Snoop Dog

I'm 51 and wearing this right now!

I don't feel it's too young, some of that is timeless.

Possibly if it was a cropped hoody over my middle aged belly and platform Converse it could be?!

The great beauty of being an older woman is you no longer have to care about this poisonous bullshit

Yes, exactly this.

Mutton dressed as lamb my arse.

And I always think it's a bit tragic seeing 40 odd year olds with blue hair..., trying too hard!

You have to care about opinions like yours for it to matter though. I don't. I will wear whatever I want as long as I like it. I couldn't give a single shiny shite about what some po-faced mumsnetter in the street thinks about my clothes.

Over 50 and snap. Isn't that most people these days in casual offices though?

I wear whatever I like. If someone thinks my England Rugby hoodie is sloppy then they need to get a life and stop being judgemental.

If someone thinks I'm too old for mini skirts at 47 then I'd say the same thing. It's not like they're micro mini but stick me in the S&B's beloved midi length and I'd be frumpy.

I've worn converse for 30 years, they are a staple in my shoe collection (I have 3 pairs at the moment) and don't see how they can classed as only for the young. Same with trainers. What the hell is someone over 30 meant to wear on their feet?

Some of the stuff that gets recommended on here would make anyone look ancient and dowdy mind you.

All these people saying no... I grew up with a grandmother who would wear leather mini skirts, platform thigh high boots, cut out tops to reveal her entire boob. She used to wear things from Topshop/Tammy girl when those shops still existed.

She now wears clothes I wouldn't as someone in their 30s and she's in her 80s.

I get you can wear whatever you want but as a teenager, watching her wear whatever cheap trend was in for teens at that time ... No, it did not look good.

And my poor mum was mortified.

My GM was also very wealthy, so it wasn't that she couldn't afford better, non-teenage clothes or anything

Edit: she was also abusive to my mum growing up (denied her food/basic care etc, very selfish to her kids and thought she was beautiful in these clothes), so maybe that has coloured my view also

Life's too short. Wear what you want. Accept that people will judge you for it. Learn to not care about what other people think of you. Works for me. Fuck'em.

Ah the pashmina. The wardrobe staple of every would be clubber who is decreed too old or not slim enough to reveal her upper arms.

Out of interest, what do you think she should have been wearing to look like she hadn't tried hard?