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Original poster

6yo too scared to be on his own and it's driving me mad

41 replies

Squirrelz5 · 01/11/2024 13:06

My 6yo is very scared all the time in the house. He will not stay downstairs on his own if I am upstairs and vice versa. On a bad day he won't even go in a separate room. He follows me everywhere and it drives me nuts. I've tried talking to him about what he is scared of, showing him the thing he's scared of is safe (aka if he says he's scared of under the bed I will literally crawl under there to show him it's fine), I've read up about multiple tips online none of which help. This has been going on for weeks now. I have days where I feel like I'm going to explode and I'm finding being sympathetic and reassuring through gritted teeth exhausting. Sometimes I just want to scream 'there's nothing in the bloody house!!!' but of course never would.

Has anyone had similar? Was it a short phase?

OP posts:
Original poster
Squirrelz5 · 01/11/2024 13:32

isodontknow · 01/11/2024 13:23

Not that I'm advocating gaming or anything, as your DS is so young, but if he's already allowed to game, there's a sneaky Sasquatch game on Apple Arcade that my DC love!

I'm trying to keep him away from gaming for as long as possible! 😅

OP posts:
LavenderFields7 · 01/11/2024 13:29

Squirrelz5 · 01/11/2024 13:17

I'm worried that asking him to draw it will just draw more attention to it, equally I don't want to just ignore it.

Show quote history

Actually avoidance makes it worse with phobias. You are better off tackling it head on. Exposure therapy is the gold standard. Let him draw it, look at pictures online, whilst at the same time doing something relaxing, I would prob do it with sweets. He will slowly stop getting the fear reaction when he thinks about the monsters etc.

Minikievs · 01/11/2024 13:24

My DS went through the same at a similar age. I can't remember what specific thing (if anything) triggered it. It lasted til he was about 9. He wouldn't go upstairs or downstairs on his own, he'd make his little sister go with him.
If your son is scared of a specific thing, I think you're doing the right thing, reassuring him it's not real etc.
I get it's annoying at the moment, but he'll grow out of it.
My DS is mid teens now but still doesn't like the dark. Sleeps with bedroom door ajar and the hall light on. The little sister sleeps in the pitch black with door firmly closed. Causes arguments if they share a room on holiday. Some kids have more visceral fears.

isodontknow · 01/11/2024 13:23

Not that I'm advocating gaming or anything, as your DS is so young, but if he's already allowed to game, there's a sneaky Sasquatch game on Apple Arcade that my DC love!

Original poster
Squirrelz5 · 01/11/2024 13:18

twomanyfrogsinabox · 01/11/2024 13:17

Can you explain about the sasquatch, it doesn't live here it lives in forests (assuming you don't live in a forest). It's too big to live in a house, it can't hide anywhere, etc. Find out exactly what it is about it that frightens him and tackle that aspect.

To be honest I've just told him it's not real and is only real on books and in tv.

OP posts:
Original poster
Squirrelz5 · 01/11/2024 13:17

LavenderFields7 · 01/11/2024 13:13

Has he tried drawing it? Sometimes physically separating imagination from reality can help

I'm worried that asking him to draw it will just draw more attention to it, equally I don't want to just ignore it.

OP posts:
twomanyfrogsinabox · 01/11/2024 13:17

Can you explain about the sasquatch, it doesn't live here it lives in forests (assuming you don't live in a forest). It's too big to live in a house, it can't hide anywhere, etc. Find out exactly what it is about it that frightens him and tackle that aspect.

mrshoho · 01/11/2024 13:16

It will be a phase. I'd keep reassuring as you've been doing and let him follow you. It's good he told you about Sasquatch. I remember my now strapping 18 year old being terrified when he was around 6 for weeks about slenderman. Kids have extraordinary imagination and still learning what is real and unreal.

loropianalover · 01/11/2024 13:16

Have you tried ‘monster spray‘ or anything like that?

People disagree with it because it means that theoretically if you don’t spray it, it could mean monsters will be in the room!!! … but if you’re desperate it might help and he might slowly forget about it.

Drawing monsters or playing with monster teddies can also help separate it as a ‘game’ rather than real.

Original poster
Squirrelz5 · 01/11/2024 13:16

maudelovesharold · 01/11/2024 13:12

I’d be more concerned about finding out what’s triggered this in my 6 year old, tbh.

He says it's because someone at school was telling him about the sasquatch. I've talked to him about how they aren't real. I've told him it's OK to be scared, never scold him for it. I've got him a night light. I've tried using positive imagery. He doesn't watch any scary content, he's definitely not exposed to it by me (he's still mainly on Bluey and paw patrol).

OP posts:
isodontknow · 01/11/2024 13:15

Tell him there's nothing scarier than a mum defending her baby, so there's no need for him to be scared when you're in the house as you're the scariest thing there is. All he needs to do is call you and you'll come ( but you do need to do this for the first few weeks!)

In our experience it was a phase. It lasted a while and reared it's head again every year when the clocks changed and all the Halloween stuff was around. It got better every year though.

LavenderFields7 · 01/11/2024 13:13

Has he tried drawing it? Sometimes physically separating imagination from reality can help

maudelovesharold · 01/11/2024 13:12

X post!

maudelovesharold · 01/11/2024 13:12

I’d be more concerned about finding out what’s triggered this in my 6 year old, tbh.

Original poster
Squirrelz5 · 01/11/2024 13:11

LavenderFields7 · 01/11/2024 13:09

What triggered it? Something has obviously happened.

Apparently someone at school talking about the sasquatch

OP posts:
LavenderFields7 · 01/11/2024 13:09

What triggered it? Something has obviously happened.