For asking him to delete out sex messages?

hope you really have sorted it out and also hope you've learnt a valuable lesson from this.

just dont sext people. it's a bad idea. more so with virtual strangers but even with a person you trust - good relationships break down and the nicest people can become nasty and vengeful if they are very hurt, phones get stolen, phones are sometimes swiped off a table by a drunk mate for a scroll through and a laugh etc.

The best way to ensure your privacy is not to get into a situation where anyone has any sexting or nudes from you on their phone at all.

Not trying to make you feel bad, but FYI, there are several different workarounds if anyone wants to override any app that tries to prevent screenshots being taken. You don't have to be terribly tech savvy.

I think you need to be asking yourself why you can trust a man enough to send him photos of you naked, but then got anxious about saying 'Hiya, can you delete those photos?' If you were scared of 'offending' him over some deleted messages, what were you doing sending him nudes?

Unlike a lot of Mumsnetters I can absolutely see the appeal of sexting and if I had a boyfriend I didn't live with, I suspect I'd probably do it. But I certainly wouldn't do it with someone I was anxious about 'offending' with a simple request to delete some photos, ffs.

Right. If he is even going away

Those pics will 100% have been screenshotted. Make sure he has cleared those pics off his phone, too

This sounds like something he would say to avoid feeling obliged to message you while he’s away. Unless there are photographs that you’re worried about being shared then I’d probably just bin him and not worry about the sexts - no one will be able to do anything with your texts.

If you have sent photos - send a message saying ‘hi, I feel pretty uncomfortable about the photos I’ve sent being on a shared work phone - please could you delete them’

then bin him…

I wouldn't be trusting this guy.

Who uses their own phone for work and doesn't have another phone? So has to leave their one and only phone with their brother?

Most people have two. Or two sims in one handset and they can take one out and put it in an old handset to get their brother to mind the company while they are gone.

Nobody goes away without their phone.

You have more problems than you think you have.....

I'm wondering if he has his regular personal phone that has all his family chat in it with his wife and children - which he is taking away with him. That you know nothing of.

AND he has a work phone which he's been using sexting with you so his wife doesn't know about his sex chats.

That would make sense that when he goes away the business phone gets given to his brother to mind the fort with.

Sorry.

Well if that's the case I don't see why you have a problem about asking him to delete them. Why would he be offended?

Just ask him. If he refuses or gets awkward about it then you know that this isn’t somebody you’d want to continue any sort of relationship with, and you’ve luckily found out early on. Also, I wouldn’t worry too much about it: if all photos are on “view once” then unless you’re including your name and address in each of your messages, nobody’s going to be able to identify you, anyway.

Honestly OP you have absolutely no idea who else he may or may not share these messages with. Surely you must have known this when you were sexting him?
Did he coerce you into doing it? Because the fact you are worried about asking him to delete the messages would indicate a power imbalance in your relationship.

It's wierd that you're comfortable enough to send nudes and sexts to this guy but too anxious to ask him to delete them. If you are scared he won't then you really shouldn't have sent them in the first place as you clearly don't trust him.

View once photos can still be screenshot.

also it’s weird that he doesn’t take his phone with him to travel and I don’t believe his brother needs his phone. What person doesn’t have their own phone especially if it’s for work purposes.

red flags here.

Yes, this

This! Who leaves their phone behind for someone else when they travel? A likely story.

Delete everything you can. Have a think about how likely it is that a man's going to go abroad for two days without a phone. And that if he's got another personal phone to take away, why he's been messaging you on his work one that he leaves with his brother.