To just not wish to reply when cancelled on?

This.

I'd leave her on read. See if she follows up with you.

Don't waste your time and energy on her - channel it on the friends you have that do value you.

In that case I would just reply "Sorry I can't make that date". Nothing else.

This

Then she is being shitty to you @ChimneySweepLiverpool it really does sound like she's very rudely got you as a 'meh' friend and would maybe keep her date with you if she could be arsed with you.
Either she's- held you on a peg in case she had a better offer, she's lazy and can't be bothered to make an effort either way she rude!

What happens when you have something like that in your life? Would she drop them for you?

Some people just have a hero complex, my MIL is like that. She "has" to go and interfere help so she can tell other people abut how great she was at helping.

If it's not that then yeah it sounds like it's excuses to pull back from the friendship.

I think I'd reply something like that's a shame, it's happened a few times now, I hope everything's OK. Then make no further effort.

And does she give detailed responses and realistic replies when you ask, or do they just seem like fake stories?

I would leave it a few hours then reply "ok"

Then I would never contact her again.

She's incredibly rude and not worth your time.

I had a friend like that. I gave her one last chance, but she let me down, again. From that day, I didn't bother with her again. It was a sad time for me as we'd been friends for many years. She was spreading herself too thinly, trying to be all things to everyone.

Here’s another version:

I totally understand your frustration—I’ve been there. I had a friend who constantly cancelled on me, always claiming health issues or other last-minute reasons. Every time I offered support or tried to be there for her, she’d just disappear. And then came my wedding…

1. She first bailed on my hen do, sending a message two hours before we were due at the airport saying she couldn’t come. Her excuse? She said she’d tripped and given herself a black eye. It felt like a bizarre, convenient story.

1. I had a bad feeling she might not show up on the wedding day either. She messaged our group chat saying she was excited to see everyone and couldn’t wait to see me in my dress. But, as I feared, she didn’t show—and didn’t follow up with a single word.

Up until then, I’d struggled with doubting her but also trying to be supportive. Losing a friend like that hurts, especially as it’s hard to make new connections as an adult when people already have their groups. But in hindsight, I can see that this was toxic behavior, and sometimes letting go is the healthiest choice, even when it’s difficult.

Ps. It's been months and we haven't spoke.

Just reply with OK. I already have plans for the xth November. See what happens then.

I don't mean to be rude but has she moved on from your friendship now that you don't have work in common? It just you say she goes out a lot with her other friends but yet is always cancelling on you.

I often have to cancel arrangements I've made because of a family emergency. I care for my dad who has dementia and he takes priority. I'd not look too favourably on a friend who couldn't understand that either.

I don't know your friends circumstances, and likely you don't either. I'd be more inclined to ask her if everything is OK. If you then deem she's being flaky for no reason just don't make any further plans with her.

I have a friend like this. She did it again last week. I answered because I know her dad genuinely is unwell but if it hadn't been that excuse she would have come up with another one. I know the true reason is she CBA.

From now on I'm not inviting her anywhere again. I'll enjoy her company when our paths cross but I'm not setting myself up for another cancellation. I won't be accepting any invitations from her either.

I have a friend or 2 with "commitment" issues. I just keep things short and sweet ... "okay", "sure", "no probs" or the last straw... thumbs up emoji.

Life goes on... just don't hang on for them. So if something else comes up cancel on them, don't say "oh I can't, I'm going out with x..." who will probably cancel...

I have an old friend like this. I'm at a point where I just message back "OK" and leave it at that. I was cancelled on yet again last week and haven't been in touch since. I'm done with it.

Don't, then.
Your friend will get over it.

This. How true and what a wise and articulate post.

Genuine things crop up but somebody who cares and values you will rearrange and be generally reliable, so you get to know eventually who's genuine and who gets a 'better' offer or can't bothered.

People did this to me all my life and only bothered to use me, taking full advantage of the fact that I'm very lonely and was a people pleaser.

Please don't allow people to do this to you as the fact you're posting on here and have replied to posters show you're a good person and friend.

I quietly dropped the rope when they nailed their colours to the mast during the pandemic and it became obvious. I couldn't ignore it any longer. They know it, I know it and they know I know it. Now those 'friendships' if that's what they even were can't be salvaged. It sounds like this has happened to you. I have joined clubs, voluntary work and night school to experience the same and have walked away a lot sooner as you recognise the patterns. Please pay attention to them. Your friend knows where you are and it's hurtful to see people who have can't meet due to anxiety and/or other problems, yet are well enough to meet others, especially when you have few other friends.

I would either drop the rope and be unavailable from now on or send a reply as suggested above that acknowledges this person has too much going on and it's better not to rearrange.

Hope you find other good people for company :)

Your friend might be going through some personal stuff, you also don’t want to be made to feel bad (I’ve been you in this situation many times). Why not book something to do together like cinema theatre so can’t just pull out the same as you can do with a coffee? Or invite her to your house for lunch see if that works as if you are cooking she may also not drop out so quickly?

If you want to continue with the friendship reply...if you don't, don't.
Personally I couldn't be doing with it, I have a family member who does this to me and I just felt like a doormat in the end, so I stopped arranging and the every text I get, once every 6 to 12 months, about meeting, I'm always "busy". CBA with it.

I don't know if she's trying to let you down gently or she's genuinely busy/caught up, but only you can decide if you want to carry on. She may do this to everyone, who knows.

I read recently someone saying that they've stopped contacting people/ reaching out first.....and they haven't heard from a lot of people in a very long time! I would try that myself. I certainly wouldn't be sending out follow up messages