To just not wish to reply when cancelled on?

@GothRedWineDance Did you dump your flaky friend?

OP has already posted that this "friend" is often out socialising with other people. So if it's social anxiety then it's a very specific version which only seems to apply to meeting up with the OP.

She might have social anxiety and means well but then can’t go through with meeting. If so it’s probably not something you could really support her through. Just don’t accept the invitations and say you’ll see her around / catch up soon.

Don't reply. Not every text has to be answered.

I have a friend like this and it’s so frustrating. She will say she wants to do something - special meal, day trip somewhere and I’ll say cool I’ll drive (don’t expect anything for petrol) and we’ll sort a date that allows her to save up or have money for whatever it is. My life is so busy so I always look forward to these times and nearly every time she cancels saying she hasn’t any money or something else. It frustrates me as I’ll save up and look forward to these plans and always end up disappointed. Instead she’ll want coffee and cake somewhere we always go.
Ive really had to learn to adjust my expectations and just book coffee dates with her. I wish her well and wish we could spend more time together but I’ve resigned myself that I’m just not important to her.

Oh OP, I do feel for you and can't believe there are so many of us that have been through similar with a " friend". It's especially tough when you don't have many other friends to fall back on and you really look forward to a day out, only for it to be snatched away with yet another cancellation text. It's happened to me too - over the space of 6 months, friend cancelled 6 times all with the excuse of her child being sick. Given the fact we'd only meet up every three weeks or so, that's a lot of times! Like you, I'd always be sympathetic and send a ' don't worry, hope child is ok' message until the penny dropped that by doing this, I was invalidating my own hurt feelings and actually, friend never seemed to have this happen on a day she was seeing another friend... It had to be more than just a coincidence. She had remarked once that she was sorry she had to cancel so many times but knew that it was ok as I was so nice and understanding and wouldn't mind! I suffered from terribly low self esteem back then and being " friends" with her only compounded the way I viewed myself - as unimportant, undeserving of care and as a vessel to make others happy. Long story short OP, let her go. As others have remarked, she wouldn't get away with this behaviour with her more assertive, confident mates who'd call out her flakiness in a heart beat. Don't be a doormat - the price is too high to bear mentally. Join a meet up group, hobby, anything and you'll meet new people who will value you and your time. Or simply invest more in those friends who DO respect you and treat you well.

I’m in a similar situation. I just don’t offer to meet up anymore. I found I was making all the effort so I stopped.

No explanation needed to her. Just focus on yourself and other relationships.

@ChimneySweepLiverpool Of course she didn't follow up - she's waiting for you to reach out to her, because she feels 'superior' to you [read entitled].

I hope u didn't reply op, she doesn't deserve it. Why keep saying ok or asking about DM etc when u know it's probably bull💩?

I'd stop making arrangements with her. Next time she texts don't reply and keep her hanging. She knows u are always there so don't be.

@SabreIsMyFave if I were you I'd block your "friend" then you'll never know if she is messaging you and therefore wouldn't get sucked back in.

@pestowithwalnuts - You could have checked the Obits re: 'One was that her partner's brother had been found dead in the street at 2 am'...

If my friend cancelled on me more than once or twice I wouldn't arrange anything else with her. If she asks to meet you should say you'd rather not make an arrangement as she seems very busy and tends to cancel. Tell her you'd be happy to meet when she is less busy.

This is much like my SD from dhs first marriage.
She has 3 kids with her partner. Money not a problem and lives 2hours away .
DH has stage 4 cancer. Four times she has arranged to come and see him. Each time it's been a pathetic excuse. Maybe a downright lie
One was that her partner's brother had been found dead in the street at 2 am
I'm not buying any of this crap. I'm not interested anymore.
She'll leave it too late..then she'll be sorry.
I feel so sorry for DH though

I think it's fine - if this person hasn't got time to be your friend, well, that happens. If they want your company, they will invite you!

Unless she makes arrangements, do not make arrangements. Even then, though, she might cancel. So be ready with a 'Good, No biggie. I can ... instead.'.

Lovely gift? It's no different to a bloke who love-bombs. It's insincere, can't you see through that?

And a huge social circle? when you actually scratch beneath the surface, it'll be a combination of her promoting herself on social media and people enjoying the temporary ego boost, I bet you if she ever had a real life challenge, she wouldn't see any of them for dust!

Cancelling off on a pre-agreed arrangement is the modern disease, all it takes nowadays is a text or WhatsApp no effort whatsoever. People do it without thinking of the consequences to the other person. It takes the sting out of it, makes it arms length to not have to face calling the person up and giving them yet another lame excuse that you can't take seriously.

once someone has done this a few times, I just wouldn't bother making an arrangement with them, what's the point.

I hadn't realised so many people viewed a thumbs up as passive aggressive. I use it quite a lot and saw it as a positive emoji agreeing with someone. I've never felt people using it in my posts were being nasty. I'd just say " sorry you have another emergency best to leave meeting up until your life is less busy" and not bother with her

I have a friend who has now cancelled 3 times over the summer . Her ' tummy ' is the consistent excuse . I have found it hurtful so have backed off and am now trying to forge friendships with other people who are less flaky .

Silence is golden.

Not as good as 'Did ye, aye?' 🤣