Should I have been missing them more?

He's probably projecting. Likely his own mother was like that when he went away as a child.

I'm trying to be balanced and see it from his side;

I mean - I could imagine if I came back from a few days away and DH hadn't done the Halloween decorations to the previous years spec - I'd be really annoyed at him - but I wouldn't be annoyed he went out and/or worked - I would have just felt like, the Halloween decorations are important to the kids so he should have made the time to do it - even if he'd done them drunk after his night out. If it was a job we'd agreed on before hand - then yeah I'd be annoyed about that. But not about him working and going out, I guess in an argument about it - I could say 'well you had time to go out and get drunk' but it would really be about the lack of effort with the decorations, if you know what I mean.

I suppose I'd only be feeling 'off' that 'he didn't miss us' if underneath I actually had broader issues around feeling neglected and insecure overall in the marriage or worries about where my DH's priorities were at and I felt we were low down. But that wouldn't be based on one event. That sort of thing would have been brewing for a while.

That might be a conversation you need to have though.

Otherwise he's just sounds a bit suffocating....

He sounds horrible

Oh for goodness sake, are you not allowed to enjoy a night out or the peace and quiet of having the house to yourself? He's being an arse, I would assume that 3 days looking after the children has left him grumpy and tired! Is he usually so judgemental if you go out and have a few drinks? I'd be very pissed off with him if I were you.

I never "pined" for my child when she was away for a few days. It was a welcome opportunity to be an actual person, not a just a mum. I luxuriated in pleasing myself, sometimes out with friends, sometimes lazing around enjoying a newly tidied house that had remained tidy for more than three hours. Sometime I left the place a tip and lazed around in my pants!

Have no guilt OP! A couple if days R&R is good for the soul!

He sounds controlling to be honest. He doesn’t like the idea of you having fun when he’s gone.

He sounds like an arsehole. You’ve had one night out and he’s acting like you’ve been missing in the pub for a week.
Is he always like that?

@MasterBeth Sorry, you'd leave your partner if they called you Mister Grumpy Pants? Bit of an overreaction, don't you think?

He's a pain in the arse.

I would leave you if you said that to me.

Surely if you’re working you have to, like, work? Not take time out to do housework or make halloween decorations?

He sounds very controlling. Maybe you missed them in your heart, but does he think you should have been prostrate with grief and unable to see your friend? Does he ever have ‘time off’ from family life and go out, or does he lie around clutching a photo of you and the dc to his heart for the whole time you’re away?

I would leave it - just say sorry Mr grumpy pants I did miss you really but I also did have fun! - he'll just be tired from the travel and moody and jealous.

Ridiculous to expect you to 'pine' for them but I would have made sure the house was clean and tidy with a little bit of the time.

Does he ever go away, on trips, without you & the children? If so, does he pine for you all and stay in his hotel room in the evening?

DH is also just back from taking DS to DPIL. He was pleased I’d had a nice time having dinner with an old friend last night. He knows I’d cover for him (and do) when he goes out.